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30 April 2005 @ 11:46 pm
Daniel/Janet flash ficlet  
Written just now. Unbeta'd, so read at own risk, but wanted to post now for meg_tdj.

Title: "Vital Statistics"
Rating: PG
Category: Daniel/Janet friendship or UST. I suppose this is angst. A drabble that got out of hand.
Spoilers: "Meridian." Set season 7, I guess.
Summary: Daniel has lost count.

***

He has actually lost count.

This -- this is bad, Daniel thinks. It's normal to forget some things -- how many times you've been on an airplane, how many fish you're supposed to have in the fishtank, how old General Hammond's granddaughter will turn next weekend.

But Daniel's lying in the infirmary, heart monitor beeping reassuringly, feet still tingling from the long minutes of stalled blood flow earlier that day, and he can't remember how many times he has died.

And that's not normal. And it's making him feel sick -- in a different way than he should feel after being brought back from the dead for the fourth or fifth or sixth time now. It's screwed up. His life is screwed up.

For God's sake, he cheats death so often now that the last time he came back to life even Sam forgot to send him a card. He feels empty and scared, like maybe he isn't the same Daniel anymore as he was when he joined the SGC -- not because of how he's grown, but because he's incomplete.

He can't even remember how many times...

The heart monitor translates his distress into an increase in mechanical beeps, and Janet Fraiser turns away from the x-rays up on the far wall to approach him. (His ribs are cracked, the x-rays say, but right now that feels like the least of his problems.)

"Daniel?" She's next to him, but her worried voice sounds like it's coming from a long way off.

"I can't remember-" and for a moment he thinks he shouldn't say anything, that he's being ridiculous, and then he remembers that this isn't like goldfish or plane flights or the age of a coworker's grandchild. This is important. This is wrong. This is him. "How many times have I... died here?"

'Almost.' He should have said 'almost.' He's still here, according to the heart monitor, even though there are moments when he thinks that everything after Kelowna has been nothing but an insane hallucination at the moment of his death.

Janet's hand on his wrist breaks through his train of thought. She doesn't even look down at his chart for the answer. "Six."

Daniel grips her fingers with his (still tingling, a little). She feels real. So does he.

His chest hurts, his feet tingle, and he feels alive.

"How did you know?" he asks. It might be her job to keep him alive at any given moment, but even he forgot the number.

She squeezes his hand. Her eyes close for a moment and a pained concern in her features makes her look older. "I know, Daniel." The moment is over when she takes a breath. "You need to rest. I'll be back to check on you in a few minutes."

He doesn't want to let go of her hand, doesn't want to fall asleep, but within a minute he finds himself doing both. Janet checks his IV -- fluids, sedative, painkiller -- before she goes, and Daniel keeps her in sight as long as he can.

It's not normal. But somehow, knowing someone is keeping track for him makes it better.

He's alive, and Daniel decides that he'll be okay.
 
 
feel: lethargiclethargic
hear: "Who Will Guard The Door" - Over the Rhine
 
 
 
MegTDJ: Dan/Jan Touch - fraiser_jacksonmeg_tdj on May 1st, 2005 04:02 am (UTC)
Awww!!!!!! *snuggles you half to death* YAY!!! You wrote Dan/Jan!!!!

It was heartwrenchingly lovely. *sniffle* Poor Daniel! And poor Janet! I can totally see her keeping track of how many times she's almost lost him. So great! :D

*more snuggles* Thank you thank you THANK YOU!!! :D
Little Red: sg - x-files - lizmylittleredgirl on May 1st, 2005 04:30 am (UTC)
I feel really bad for everyone now! I get distressed when I lose my usual bouncyfluffiness about the show and start thinking about how hard their lives are. (And, er, deaths.)

I'm so glad you liked your present! :)
(no subject) - amilyn on May 1st, 2005 02:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mylittleredgirl on May 6th, 2005 02:51 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - amilyn on May 7th, 2005 03:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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Little Red: sg - fluffier than thou - lyssiemylittleredgirl on May 1st, 2005 04:18 am (UTC)
Meanwhile, the Hallmark store is all "wtf? We've had a real run on our line of cards for surprise ressurections..."
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(no subject) - mylittleredgirl on May 1st, 2005 04:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
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(no subject) - meg_tdj on May 1st, 2005 04:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - amilyn on May 1st, 2005 02:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mylittleredgirl on May 6th, 2005 02:51 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lyssie on May 1st, 2005 04:44 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mylittleredgirl on May 1st, 2005 05:11 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lyssie on May 1st, 2005 06:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - liminalliz on May 1st, 2005 05:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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(no subject) - lyssie on May 1st, 2005 09:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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(no subject) - lyssie on May 1st, 2005 09:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - liminalliz on May 1st, 2005 05:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lyssie on May 1st, 2005 09:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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(no subject) - lyssie on May 1st, 2005 09:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - elvinborn on May 1st, 2005 06:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lyssie on May 1st, 2005 09:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
mysticalweather: (scrollgirl) Healermysticalweather on May 1st, 2005 04:15 am (UTC)
Aww! :D I can't even put into words how much I really enjoyed this. It's one of those stories that I read and go "Oh! Of *course*!!" and then wonder why I never thought of it...and then I'm glad that you *did* think of it because it was so cute.

Wow, I hope that makes sense...

If not...just skip down to this part:

SQUEE!!

:D

~Misty
Little Red: sg - fluffier than thou - lyssiemylittleredgirl on May 1st, 2005 04:21 am (UTC)
Yay! I'm so glad you liked it. :) I also kind of wonder where that thought came from... but it does make sense. Poor Janet! No wonder the woman would try not to fall for anyone under her care, too.

*snuggles you*
entertaining in a disturbing waylyssie on May 1st, 2005 04:44 am (UTC)
Awww. *pats Daniel* So screwed, poor boy.
Little Red: doggett last stand - lyssiemylittleredgirl on May 1st, 2005 04:49 am (UTC)
*wibbles*

Yeah... things are not going to go well.

I think I don't write angst because then I feel VERY VERY GUILTY for being mean to the characters instead of, like, intervening and saving them from the evilbadshow.
(no subject) - lyssie on May 1st, 2005 05:01 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mylittleredgirl on May 1st, 2005 05:08 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rosewildeirish on May 1st, 2005 06:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mylittleredgirl on May 6th, 2005 02:52 am (UTC) (Expand)
Fimuldy on May 1st, 2005 10:53 am (UTC)
Aaw that was good!! It's been so long since I've seen Dan/Jan fan fic!!

Little Red: sg - fluffier than thou - lyssiemylittleredgirl on May 6th, 2005 02:53 am (UTC)
It's been a long time since I've written one! I need to start rewatching the eps in syndication again -- it'll bring the muse back. :)
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Little Red: sg - fluffier than thou - lyssiemylittleredgirl on May 6th, 2005 02:54 am (UTC)
*giggles* Wheeeee! Usually I'm going around shamelessly (and, er, brainlessly) fangirling everyone else, so this is fun. ;)

Thanks! *snuggles*
Just a springing future interest: Sam Grinskatcorvi on May 1st, 2005 01:09 pm (UTC)
Aw, that was so lovely and sweet. Of course Janet would keep track of how many times and know that off the top of her head. How reassuring for Daniel. Go ahead and angst 'em, because the end results are so wonderful. And I will never complain if you write a fluff antidote. *g*
Little Red: sg - fluffier than thou - lyssiemylittleredgirl on May 6th, 2005 02:55 am (UTC)
Daniel and Janet are so angst-able. Well, Daniel really brings his own angst to the party, and Janet tries to balance him out with a vote of reason and sanity...

Ooooh! What would the fluff antidote be like? My muse appears to be on holiday, so I'm taking suggestions. :)
KarenDreamerLady: Come What Maykarendreamer on May 1st, 2005 02:31 pm (UTC)
Awww, Red, this is lovely. So much emotion in so few words. I love that Janet knows off the top of her head how many times Daniel has died, but he can't remember.
Little Red: sg - osiris knowing evil - littlekfrumylittleredgirl on May 6th, 2005 02:56 am (UTC)
*feeds your Dan/Jan hetkink*

I'm so glad you liked it. It's a bit like coming home to my Stargate-y roots. And makes me realize how deeply screwed up poor Daniel's life really is. :(
One Whose Honesty is Stronger Than Her Fear: mmmmamilyn on May 1st, 2005 02:50 pm (UTC)
Truly excellent.

I adore your style...the pairing of complex and simple sentences, the use of repetition, the economy of words, the precision of the word choice, the rawness and immediacy that creates EVERY TIME.

Outstanding work. I love it when you write.
Little Red: trek - j/c luau - dk2022mylittleredgirl on May 6th, 2005 02:59 am (UTC)
I think I understand why your students love you so much. *twitters and squeees at feedback*

I love it when I write too. *pokes brain* My muse has been very confused lately because I've been watching more than one show. I want to write fiiiiic! I just don't know what.
(no subject) - amilyn on May 7th, 2005 03:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
anr: danjan fatedanr on May 1st, 2005 03:03 pm (UTC)
oh, GOD. *sniffles* This is gorgeous, hon. The ISSUES in this are gorgeous. I love that she takes his hand and that she KNOWS and that Sam didn't send him a card last time and that it's happened so many times that he's starting to lose track which is why he'll keep watching her for as long as he can because she's taken over that responsibility for him and *takes a breath* yeah. *LOVES YOU SO MUCH*
Little Red: trek - trip/t'pol i love you - ashismmylittleredgirl on May 6th, 2005 03:01 am (UTC)
God. Dammit. I LOVE that icon. Every time you use it it makes me just go "guh." You should use it more often. :)

And I love your feedback! *loves you so* Janet rules! You rule! OMG! *clings to you and your awesomeness*
(no subject) - anr on June 26th, 2005 09:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
A.j.: hugsaj on May 1st, 2005 03:31 pm (UTC)
*smooches you*
*bounces* I feel strange bouncing about this as it is sad. But it's Daniel! And Janet! And.. *sniff* Man, poor kids. *hugs them*
Little Red: sg - osiris knowing evil - littlekfrumylittleredgirl on May 6th, 2005 03:01 am (UTC)
*is bouncily smooched*
THEIR LIVES ARE SO SAD!! And yet, we bounce. Because they are cute when angsted.
Re: *is bouncily smooched* - aj on May 6th, 2005 03:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
we angst because we love - mylittleredgirl on May 6th, 2005 03:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
tarkheena lizzeeen: sgwun - 8/daniel - so very fragileliminalliz on May 1st, 2005 05:06 pm (UTC)
Funny how that AWESOME comments fic came out of my favorite line of this -- "For God's sake, he cheats death so often now that the last time he came back to life even Sam forgot to send him a card." I laughed SO HARD, darling! My sinful love is constantly renewed (not that it was in trouble but sometimes infinity likes to be infinity x 3,400,113, ya know)!! DARLING! Just so wonderful. *bounces*
Little Red: sg - sekrit robot gf - thefakeheadlinemylittleredgirl on May 6th, 2005 03:04 am (UTC)
OMG! *cannot get enough of your SINFUL LOVE* Lyssie's ficlet is so very delightful indeed!
rogue equestrian: SG:: Daniel Squee momentelvinborn on May 1st, 2005 06:15 pm (UTC)
I love this. it really would be odd to know that you've actually died so many times that you can't remember the total. I love what you've done with the idea. I'm glad that Janet knows. I really miss Janet *sniffle*
Little Red: sg - osiris knowing evil - littlekfrumylittleredgirl on May 6th, 2005 03:05 am (UTC)
JANET! *clings* Janet truly kicks ass. And Daniel's life is really, really, really weird and screwed-up. And a pairing is born. And... fic. Wheee!
inyron on May 1st, 2005 11:33 pm (UTC)
Aww. So nice. I love this.
Little Red: sg - linguists - maching_monkeymylittleredgirl on May 6th, 2005 03:06 am (UTC)
Yay! Hi. And thank you. :) I'm glad you liked.
if i could, i'd punch you into paralysis!grenadine on May 2nd, 2005 01:07 am (UTC)
Absolutely lovely.
But somehow, knowing someone is keeping track for him makes it better.
So, so perfect. And this:
For God's sake, he cheats death so often now that the last time he came back to life even Sam forgot to send him a card.
Hysterical. :) (I think this might be the first Daniel/Janet I've ever read. Makes me want to go find more.)

Little Red: sg - linguists - maching_monkeymylittleredgirl on May 6th, 2005 03:07 am (UTC)
Daniel/Janet is a lot of fun. It was my first Stargate pairing (for Sam/Jack was Very Big And Scary as far as fandom and canon went), and so I still have great love for them. I'm so glad you liked. :)