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03 March 2007 @ 01:33 pm
five minute fanfic theatre  
comment!fic for miera_c exceeded the character limit, as per usual. I am at work and have five-minute sanity breaks sometimes, so feel free to challenge or write X-minute ficlets yourself to amuse ME, because it is all about ME the masses. W00t.

It was 3 a.m., and that was probably why she said it.

"Shut up."

John paused mid-rant, surprised. That wasn't normally in the Doctor Weir Handbook of Management. "What did you say?"

"Just... shut up! You're arguing this point for no reason."

Actually, that might be true. He had cared about their first point of contention -- trading with the planet-of-the-week with insufficient security -- but now they were in a heated argument about desalination-tank crew schedules or something equally... really really stupid.

He was pretty sure she didn't care about that, either. "So are you."

"Fine. Then-"

"You shut up."

A smirk was threatening at the corner of Elizabeth's mouth. "I said it first."

"I thought it first."

She rolled her eyes and huffed, but she was officially grinning. "You're impossible."

It was probably kinda sick that one of his favorite expressions on her was exasperation. "So're you."

She weighed that for a moment. "Takes one to know one, I guess."

"That's why we get along so well."

There it was again, exasperation. Their version of 'getting along' lately had involved lots of bullet-pointed memos on her part with increasing amounts of bold type, and lots of bursting into her office at 3 am on his part to talk about trade laws and crew schedule rotations.

"Go to bed, Colonel. You're not making sense anymore." She waved him off and turned back to her computer.

"You first."

"I said it first," she muttered.

True. "Do you want me to leave your office, or don't you?"

Her eyes narrowed. "I've got sixteen more reports to revise. You're welcome to stay."

John planted one hip on the corner of her desk. "I give you ten minutes. I can start whistling."


He hadn't realized how long it had been since she'd said his given name like that, like he was a thorn in her side as a person and not as her second-in-command. Three weeks, at least, since they'd spent any nonessential time together.

"Elizabeth, when was the last time you slept?"

She paused.

He didn't let her come up with an answer. "Unacceptable. If you can't remember-"

"When's the last time you slept?" She didn't even look up as she asked. "I thought so."

"Another reason why you should give in now. I'm not leaving this office until you do." He'd been thinking, lately, that he hardly got to see her. He hadn't really considered a sit-in strike as a solution, but if it worked, who was going to criticize?

"My couch is your couch."

He started whistling.

"Will you please-"

"Hey, rules are rules."

She stood it for about a minute, then raised her head to shoot him a tired glare. "You fight dirty."

"Yes. I do."

"You know there's nothing to prevent me from coming back here after you leave."

"Ah, but that would be childish."

She sighed dramatically and strode past him. She didn't acknowledge that he was following her until he stepped on her heel.

"Are you seriously escorting me back to my quarters?"

"I don't trust you."

She glared. "John, I am perfectly capable of putting myself to bed. And you're starting to annoy me."

That wasn't much of a statement, really, since he'd been annoying her, on and off, for years. "Elizabeth?"


He smiled winningly. "Shut up."
am: werk
feel: okayokay
angelqueen04: Sparky (Serious)angelqueen04 on March 3rd, 2007 09:46 pm (UTC)
You know, if he's really concerned that she'll try to sneak back to her office, he could just stick around and make sure she stays...

I'm just saying. ;D

Very cute! Friendshippiness rocks! :)
Little Red: sga - shep bondage - gilkurtismylittleredgirl on March 3rd, 2007 10:42 pm (UTC)
I think that would be a very different fanfic. A few years down the road, maybe?


He needs to move. Really, he does, because he's faceplanted into one of Elizabeth's pillows and he's probably going to asphyxiate soon.

That doesn't sound so bad, though, not when he's warm and sleepy and sexed and happy...

A bony knee hits his leg, and he lifts his head, gasps in a breath, and looks at the owner of the offending appendage.

Elizabeth is on her back, looking just as sexed and sated and comfortable as he feels.


"So... are you ever planning to untie me?"

He rubs his knuckles over her ribs, hoping to distract her until he regains the energy to sit up and wrangle knots.

"When I'm ready," he teases, kissing her collarbone, but there's more laziness in his voice than deviousness or even passion.

Elizabeth wriggles. "What gave you this idea in the first place, anyway?"

Usually she's the one to suggest anything kinky -- although really, they're just starting to toy around with that. Sex is almost always a crime of opportunity with them, with their jobs and lives being what they are, and they don't usually have the chance for set-up and props.

"Thought it might be nice to try something new." Actually, he'd just been worried she would suddenly remember some meeting that she absolutely had to attend at six in the morning. That was another part of their jobs and lives.

"Getting bored already, Colonel?"

"Now that you mention it..."

She reflexively goes to swat him, but her wrists are still tied.

"Really, can you untie these? My skin's starting to burn."

He does. She rubs her wrists.

"If I go have a shower, do you promise not to run back to the control tower?"

She laughs. "Is that why you... John, I don't usually up and leave during sex. Well, not any more than you do."

The unscheduled offworld activation alarm has uncanny timing, he's noticed. He thinks Atlantis gets some sort of perverse pleasure out of it, too.

John says: "You can never be too careful."
miera_c: funny facesmiera_c on March 3rd, 2007 11:44 pm (UTC)

How did you know I was thinking about Elizabeth-tied-up-sex? (OK it was Elizabeth/Teyla/John with Elizabeth tied up but still).

Oh my God. I really AM your sock puppet!!!!! *cries*
Little Red: sga - teyla girls only think - lizmylittleredgirl on March 4th, 2007 12:22 am (UTC)
We are totally mutual sock puppets. It's kinda freaky, y0.

Besides, aren't you always thinking about that? ;-P
miera_c: teylamiera_c on March 4th, 2007 12:45 am (UTC)
Besides, aren't you always thinking about that? ;-P

Not with Teyla in the mix, no. :p
angelqueen04: Sparky (No Fuck)angelqueen04 on March 4th, 2007 12:41 am (UTC)
*eyes gloss over* Oooh, post-kinky-sex fic... Awesome! And Tied-Up-Elizabeth? Is just... *melts*

Lovely! :D
A.j.: amusedaj on March 4th, 2007 01:40 am (UTC)

"I'm tying you down so you won't leave!"
"Um, whatever, let's GO."
"..damn, have to run.."
I secretly love to throw oranges at our priest.roseredathena on March 4th, 2007 05:16 am (UTC)
More Sparky? Sparky in bed? ::does backflips::
Whoa. You know I really like this paired with your original post. Most especially as a 'years down the road' addition. The stories are the same and yet different. I really like how the two scenes are only just so different so as to create this great little contrast. I dunno. I'm just babbling here.

Also, I just really find the idea of (and even just the mention of) coitus interuptus hilarious and intruiging. Have you ever read the Lois & Clark story "Giving Thanks" by Kathy B?
Living Life at the Speed of Squeefresh_tart on March 5th, 2007 04:55 pm (UTC)
The unscheduled offworld activation alarm has uncanny timing, he's noticed. He thinks Atlantis gets some sort of perverse pleasure out of it, too.

I can just see the city's little smirk. "Haha, ruined post-coital bliss *again*. Atlantis: six hundred thirteen and a half. Oversexed humans: Zero."
miera_c: always lookingmiera_c on March 3rd, 2007 10:06 pm (UTC)

Little Redmylittleredgirl on March 3rd, 2007 10:44 pm (UTC)
Anything for you, dahling! (I was about to call you "my darling sockpuppet" but that just sounds really really wrong somehow.)
miera_c: puppymiera_c on March 3rd, 2007 11:45 pm (UTC)
"my darling sockpuppet"

*sigh* poor lonely sockpuppet who gets no terms of endearment.
Little Redmylittleredgirl on March 4th, 2007 12:30 am (UTC)
Just for that, you WILL now be called sockpuppet. ENDEAR THIS.

peanutbutterer: John and Lizpeanutbutterer on March 4th, 2007 12:14 am (UTC)
It was probably kinda sick that one of his favorite expressions on her was exasperation.

Hee. *loves*

This really took five minutes? Dayum. The jealousy is encroaching on the love omg.
Little Red: sga - sw happiness - jeepnymylittleredgirl on March 4th, 2007 12:29 am (UTC)
Yeah, okay, probably not. I was thinking of actual typing time, for I am at work and keep getting interrupted by, liek, my real actual job. I tend to have a really poor sense of time while in the warp bubble of my jobosphere.
peanutbutterer: *clings*peanutbutterer on March 4th, 2007 01:48 am (UTC)
Work totally gets in the way of the more important things in life.


“But, John –” he cuts her off with a kiss. After an embarrassingly long moment she musters just enough strength to (halfheartedly) pull away. “John,” she tries again, this time with a hand on his chest. “We need to go.”

He responds with a whimper that she will never admit she finds endearing, even under duress. (He already knows that she’s a sucker for his pout and he certainly doesn’t need any more ammunition.)

“We have a meeting,” she reminds him with as much authority as she can intone given her current state of undress.

“Just five more minutes,” he pleads, inching forward as her hand slides down his chest and alights on his hip. Damn mutinous limbs.

“Work –” she starts and stops as his palm finds her bare thigh thorough the thick tangle of sheets.

“Can wait,” he finishes for her, nuzzling his nose in the soft patch of skin where her jaw meets her neck.

What the hell, she thinks. Rodney will be late anyway.

miera_c: always lookingmiera_c on March 4th, 2007 02:11 am (UTC)

(He can do 5 minutes? ;)
kathgrr: SGA Sparky Passionkathgrr on March 4th, 2007 09:23 am (UTC)
Isn't that a *BAD* thing???
miera_c: jealousmiera_c on March 4th, 2007 07:14 pm (UTC)
depends on what he's doing. ;)
~mommy monster~momm2five on March 17th, 2007 03:29 pm (UTC)
Dagn! I'm new here -- but this is great.

I'd SO take 5 minutes with John . . .
entertaining in a disturbing way: Sparky revolutionlyssie on March 4th, 2007 12:19 am (UTC)
*loves it so*
Little Red: sga - sw season two! - A.j.mylittleredgirl on March 4th, 2007 12:30 am (UTC)
Your icon is made of win.

Wheeee! I thought of you as I was typing. It's fun to write silly fic this way! It reminds me of the original Sparky Days in which everything we wrote was... pretty well ridiculous. Love eet.
A.j.: atlantisotpaj on March 4th, 2007 01:39 am (UTC)
OH, the early days! "Wait, do you think John and Elizabeth would discuss porn kinks?"
"Hmm. Maybe they like fluffer nutter!"
angelqueen04: Shep (run)angelqueen04 on March 4th, 2007 12:42 am (UTC)
Goodness, that icon is just amazing! *grins*
rogue equestrian: SGA:: Sparky: You/me closetelvinborn on March 4th, 2007 03:51 am (UTC)
littlered ftwin!!
(Deleted comment)
I secretly love to throw oranges at our priest.roseredathena on March 4th, 2007 05:01 am (UTC)
Sparky is like flan.
John pestering Elizabeth? I'm at a loss for words to describe how cute that was. Instead I'm just going to ::squeeeeee!::
kathgrr: SGA Weir Hairkathgrr on March 4th, 2007 09:24 am (UTC)
love it love it and I love the rest of the comment fics too =)
live the life you've imaginedcalleigh_j on March 4th, 2007 09:54 am (UTC)
He smiled winningly. "Shut up."

And this is exactly what I assume is going on at the end of every episode/between every scene/basically just all the time. The banter is spot on, and obviously TiedUp!Elizabeth - hottttt.
Nike: JS+EWnikej on March 4th, 2007 03:03 pm (UTC)
*melts of squee*
Ash: Smoking Lobobarker9 on March 5th, 2007 04:12 pm (UTC)
Atlantis is filled with children. lol! All of them. You see how trouble they cause for themsleves by pushing buttons too? Okay, the first sentence had to do with the fic.

They're always cute. Fantastic. :D