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05 April 2007 @ 10:59 pm
I HATE YOU, VOYAGER!!1!  
OKAY. I have very much enjoyed this little Voyager Revisionist Marathon that Gira and I have been doing. In fact, we both kind of started to wonder whether we'd judged this show and Janeway too harshly the first time around, and if perhaps the family should stop mocking me for having made a little Baby Janeway uniform for the baby doll I sewed in the seventh grade. I mean, sure, she went batshit and locked herself in her quarters for three months, but after that she seemed sort of okay. And in season 5, the writers spent a few months waxing their eyebrows and greenlighting some stupid plots, and there was that one episode where Chakotay boxes his own crazy brain for 43 minutes -- like, come on, is it a Universal Television Rule that every TV show must have an episode about boxing that sucks? -- but still, things were good.

Were we wrong about Janeway? we asked, feeling kind of bad for all the We Hate Janeway Fan Club newsletters that Gira churned out in our basement. Why do we remember her going completely off the deep end and thought this series was kind of Star Trek's retarded little brother? We're almost to the end of the series. We should be in the clear.

The conclusion to this rant?

FUCK YOU, EQUINOX PART II.

Don't ask me how Sisko can willfully poison AN ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET and get by just fine in my books (good episode, by the way) and this episode makes me retroactively stop respecting Janeway for the past five seasons, BUT IT DOES. And I kind of hate everybody else on the ship for not LOCKING HER THE FUCK AWAY right then and there. TUVOK, TUVOK, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?

Rationally? It was just kind of a crap episode. Captain Ransom's spontaneous redemption could have been less WTF and slapped-together and more meaningful if it didn't seem to be because Seven Of Nine Is Kind Of Hot. Janeway went from zero to Ahab in like .03 seconds, which wasn't fair, because she actually could have had REASONABLE ISSUES about this (this would have been a great time for her to reexamine her own stance on how little she's been willing to bend the rules for her crew, by the way) or at least explained her position in a way that didn't make her seem, I don't know, Possessed By Rabies. NO, NO, I can't rationalize this one! She's just INSANE! ARGH. I AM FULL OF ANGER.

OKAY. The only way I can get to sleep now, omg forgive this episode is that it's really the perfect opportunity for aj and my Grand Plan to have Chakotay, Tuvok and the Doc lock Janeway away for being CRAZY (or, you know, she volunteers, which she kind of might about three hours after this hateful episode ends once she gets the chance to think about what she's done). And then she can GET SANE, and we can move on with our lives and maybe use the Happy Voyager Project tag some more, and there might be some talk of romance novels with B'Elanna.

It would have been really cool if, instead of this episode altogether, Voyager was the ship beat to hell when it encountered another Federation ship, and the other Captain got to lord it over Janeway, and we could all get righteously indignant! That would have been MORE FUN and LESS CRAZY, and I would be LESS FULL OF RAGE WITH AN EXPIRATION DATE OF 1999.

I'm going to go angrily play the Sims now.
 
 
feel: angryHOPPING MAD!
 
 
 
live the life you've imagined: MFScrewedMeOvercalleigh_j on April 6th, 2007 09:06 am (UTC)
Gah, I don't remember seeing that episode at all, or maybe I was just too young and was just 'Oooh, pretty spaceships'. God, I want this show and I want it now. But yes, embrace the RAGE for it will make you feel better. *rushes off to search eBay again for Voyager DVDs*

Also, have been thinking about a sequel for the Jake/Diane fic I just wrote, since Lizzie and Shep now refuse to be written - yay or nay?
Little Red: trek - chekov grr! - viresse_iconsmylittleredgirl on April 6th, 2007 04:22 pm (UTC)
What a silly question! YAY! But wouldn't this be a challenging fic to sequel? Hrm...

I have embraced the rage and now am much less likely to chuck my TV remote through an open window.
live the life you've imagined: MFDepthPerceptioncalleigh_j on April 6th, 2007 04:35 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I can't decide whether a sequel is actually a good idea or not, but all I have in my brain right now is Mrs Hughes being introduced to Jake and going, "Oh, so you're Jake" and Jake being all, "What now?".

I embraced some rage earlier when some idiot cut me up as I drove through town - it was very satisfying. But still no Voyager DVDs. Damn.
Little Red: jake - diane wtf - graphicalrummylittleredgirl on April 6th, 2007 08:52 pm (UTC)
*laughs* I would probably do it where Jake corners Diane after there's an awkward meeting with mama!Hughes and Jake's all "WHY was she talking like you and I are... *sputter!*"
live the life you've imagined: MFK9calleigh_j on April 6th, 2007 08:57 pm (UTC)
Mama!Hughes would just be so awesome to write, I think that's why it appeals so much. But would it *actually* work?
mikasteelelell: Cookiesoxbastetxo on April 6th, 2007 11:28 am (UTC)
I LOVED Voyager when it was on and have been watching it off and on while it's replaying on SPIKETV.

Given saying that, there are times it was a "ship of fools".

The whole "locking Tom up because he tried to save an ocean/planet" *sigh*

I remember when 36 of D..err...7 of 9 came on board. She did grow on me after a while thought.

;-)
Little Red: trek - janeway heaven earth - kabutarmylittleredgirl on April 6th, 2007 04:29 pm (UTC)
You know, I actually managed to get past the locking-Tom-up thing, although it was kind of EXTREME, wtf. I just. She just, like, woah homicidal rampage in this episode!

It made me think a bit about Enterprise, and how Archer went bonkers and threw that guy in an airlock, but if not justifiable, that was at least understandable, because it had all been mounting for a whole season instead of just suddenly FLIPPING OUT.

Awww, 7. If Janeway goes around the bend, I'm pretty Seven of Nine is the one driving the go-kart. I MISS KES. Kes could've talked some sense into Janeway. Barring that, somebody should have sent in Naomi Wildman. Even crazy!Janeway is vulnerable to the young-and-cute set.
angelqueen04: Hugsangelqueen04 on April 6th, 2007 12:55 pm (UTC)
THANK YOU! I remember watching that episode and being all What The Flying Fuck?! I spent much of my formative teen years watching this show, so Janeway was my ultra hero. She was brainy and kicked the Borg's collective ass more than once. But it was stuff like this (and Fair Haven *coughs*) that made me want to wring a few people's necks over at Paramount. *growls*
Havochavocthecat on April 6th, 2007 01:37 pm (UTC)
Oh, good GODS, Janeway was bugfuck nuts by the end of the series. Seriously.

One day, amilyn told me that her theory about Voyager was that Chakotay, Tuvok, and the Doc had locked Janeway on one of the holodecks around third season or so, and what we were seeing on the TV was actually Janeway's Wacky Holodeck Adventures. Chakotay was captaining the real ship seamlessly through the Delta Quadrant, getting everyone home, and avoiding rampant wreaking of destruction.

Only. Way. Possible. Though I like the Happy Voyager Project with the romance novel talk. Oh, yes.
Little Redmylittleredgirl on April 6th, 2007 08:25 pm (UTC)
You know? I'm willing to forgive the craziness UP TO THIS POINT. At this moment, she has displayed that she seriously needs an intervention!

The romance novels can be optional, but I think that tossing her in the holodeck and not telling her might be meaner than just locking her in her quarters and programming up a nice therapist for her, and possibly a nice long beach-planet vacation.
Little Red: trek - first love imzadi - leyennmylittleredgirl on April 6th, 2007 04:33 pm (UTC)
*laughs*

I HATED that she kicked the Borg ass. That was my sister and my big complaint about the series, actually, was that the Borg were turned into, well, KITTENS by comparison. This time around, we finally decided it was all because of Hugh from TNG, and now I'm more okay with the pussification of the Borg, so to speak.

Not to say Janeway wasn't awesome! Just saying that I couldn't believe she was that awesome, because THE BORG ARE BIG AND SCARY, STOP DISTRACTING THEM WITH CATNIP. Y'know?
thekatebeyond on April 6th, 2007 01:49 pm (UTC)
zero to Ahab in like .03 seconds

Quote of the Day! You win!
Little Red: gleee! - nenyamylittleredgirl on April 6th, 2007 04:33 pm (UTC)
Yay!
A.j.: character yaj on April 6th, 2007 02:12 pm (UTC)
I TOTALLY AGREE. Equinox II is really a good jumping off point for Happy Voyager. Katie can be all "...dude, was I on drugs?"
Tuvok: "No, but this behavior has been a part of a long-reaching pattern that I have detected."
Chakotay: "You need a vacation."
Tuvok: "I agree with the Commander."
Katie: "A vacation? You think my apparent CRAZY can be cured with a vacation!?"
Chakotay: "A really long one."
Tuvok: "It might also behoove you to start a counseling program. There are several very worthy holographic therapists in the databanks."
Katie: "I am not. Talking. To. Frued."
Tuvok: "I was speaking of a Ms. Kate Heightmeyer. Many of the crew find it beneficial to speak with her."
Chakotay: "But mostly, you need a vacation."
Tuvok: "I concur."
Katie: "I don't know if that is even theoretically possible..."
Chakotay: "Do you want to talk about the last two days?"
Katie: "Vacation it is. Give me three hours to clear out my ready room."
Tuvok: "Excellent."
Chakotay: *relieved face*
Katie: *leaving* "And don't think I don't know that if I didn't agree, you were going to hypospray me and lock me in hydroponics against my will!"
Chakotay: *facepalm*
Tuvok: *eyebrows*
Chakotay: "Well, she didn't get us this far without being observant."
Little Red: lc - sanctuary - alexia88mylittleredgirl on April 6th, 2007 08:31 pm (UTC)
Yes yes YES. EXACTLY. Only I can see there being more angst and wibbling and less snark, unfortunately. I'd like Janeway to turn up in Chakotay's quarters that night and, since now she has Tested Him and shown that he isn't going to mutiny and isn't Out To Get Her, and just go "Something happened to me. I need your help." AND THEN, THE KUMBAYAS. Etc. And the holographic Troi.

And she has got to apologize to Tuvok for threatening him, too. Would she go to Tuvok for help before Chakotay? MAYBE. But I'm thinking she'd be more afraid of Tuvok relieving her of command (even though he SHOULD HAVE in this episode and didn't)...

You know what we missed in this episode? B'Elanna going to Chakotay's quarters when he's locked up and going "WTF!?" Instead, she seems more than happy to follow Janeway's crazy orders.

Who's the dewd in your icon?
A.j.: connectaj on April 6th, 2007 08:37 pm (UTC)
Well, yes. That was a paraphrased version. More like The Great Angst Fest of 23XX in five minutes.

And I don't know! I honestly thing that she needs to be thinking these thoughts and that Chakotay and Tuvok totally show up and are all "Um. Yeah, we've all had a few hours to process and. Dude. When did you lose your damn mind?"

And I am SO VERY CRANKY that B'Ella and Janeway and the girls didn't decide to make the men of Voyager's lifes hell at one point. Just for. Fun. They totally could have pulled it off too. Maybe like.. in honor of B'Ellana's approaching due date or something. A whole three days where all the women on Voyager are just all "You KNOW what you did and I'm not talking to you until you figure it out."

But maybe that's just me being an evil h0r. (The chocolate bar I bought because I have been NEEDING ONE was white inside its wrapper and I was DENIED out of fear that eating it will kill me.) Photos later.

Oh! And it's SCOTT. From the X-Men movies! He is just so. Adorable. I want to pinch his cheeks and save him from having been fireballed by his fiance. And then molest him horribly.
Little Red: trek - kes sees - 50thousandtearzmylittleredgirl on April 6th, 2007 08:50 pm (UTC)
It should be a wonderfully reserved angstfest. I love those. Because Janeway has been so OMG ACK FLAIL WITH YELLING AND THREATS! that it would be nice if this was a fairly... quiet scene. Perhaps with mood lighting.

I'm ever the optimist who would love if Janeway sought them out, because then she'd be most receptive and most okay with it, but it would probably have to go the other way. Heh. It would just be faboo if they're all waiting in her quarters or her ready room or something for an actual Intervention. Ahahaha. I'm loving the look on Janeway's face in my head right now.

*laughs at your evil h0rness*

Er... if the chocolate bar is strange colors perhaps you won a prize? You should check. Don't they do that sometimes?

I MISS KES. Kes could have fixed this.
stexgirl2000stexgirl2000 on April 6th, 2007 02:41 pm (UTC)
I think that the Voyager writers went insane at that point or someone broke up with their girlfriend and decided that strong, competent women were evil and thus took out their frustrations on Janeway. Or something.

Thing is, they wouldn't have pulled that shit with Picard. Nope.

And whatever happened to the concept of the ship's counselor at that point in the Trek 'verse? I forget, did they ever address that on Voyager?
Little Red: trek - sisko niners - nos'mylittleredgirl on April 6th, 2007 08:40 pm (UTC)
Well, they kind of do play with The Breaking Point with all the captains (I'm speaking specifically of this episode, not the general crazy). Like I said, Sisko poisoned AN ENTIRE PLANET when he was pushed to the edge, but it made sense because it had been building for a long time, and it was just really cool to see it play out. That episode was executed in such a way that it was really a fascinating character study, where this one just kind of made me hate Janeway. I kind of suspect this episode was supposed to talk about breaking points and good vs. evil and humans pushed to the wall and It Could Happen To Any Captain and I don't even KNOW what, but it wasn't well executed. They didn't give Janeway ENOUGH of a reason for her to go all psycho on Ransom, and they didn't give Ransom ENOUGH of a reason to find redemption. There was no logical progression, just flipped a switch.

It might have worked better if more time had passed during the course of the episodes, a la Year Of Hell.

Ooooh! The ship's counselor thing is mentioned right at the getgo, when Janeway's bemoaning that they don't have one because they didn't really need one for their three hour tour.