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05 April 2009 @ 07:59 pm
It is Now Safe For You to Re-Watch "These Are The Voyages"  
OH MY GOD.

You know how my boyfriend and I are doing the megatrekathon, right? Watching our way through Enterprise, then Classic Trek, then the deeply hilarious Animated Series, TNG, DS9, V'ger...

So, um, we've watched Enterprise. All of it. Except the very last episode. I have been fighting it because my soul has already been raped once by that episode, thankyouverymuch, and quite sufficiently I feel.

He's making me watch it. Seriously, it's sadistic. He threatened an all-out Star Trek strike if I refused. The choice between one hour of EPIC SUFFERING or no Star Trek at all until he gives up his strike? AUGHGHGHGHGHGH.

But he just FIXED IT for me!! He did! I told him about how it brutally destroys a really good TNG episode AS WELL as the entire Enterprise show, the franchise, and my general STATE OF MIND, and he's all, "Oh, that's easy. Riker wakes up post-Nemesis after some crazy dream, all 'Deanna, remember that Pegasus mission? Except it was totally different! And I was in the holodeck dreaming about, I don't know, the NX-01's last mission. Remember, where *spoilers happen*?' And Deanna's all '... That's not what happened on the last mission of the NX-01.'"

IT'S SO PERFECT. It's all a crazy Riker dream. All of it. That's why the history is wrong, why the TNG stuff makes no sense (since Riker soooo did not have time to dork off on the holodeck and Troi was totally dating Worf at the time and would not have been palling around with him all flirty-like), why Riker and Troi are so old (boyfriend chimes in "and fat!") and why IT SUCKS SO HARD.

I think I will now survive "These Are The Voyages." Wish me luck.
 
 
 
tarkheena lizzeeen: st [teach me to read good]liminalliz on April 6th, 2009 03:10 am (UTC)
THIS IS AN EXCELLENT HANDWAVEY EXPLANATION. I APPROVE.

Also I need your help here esp as it's all so fresh in your mind now!!! <333
Little Redmylittleredgirl on April 6th, 2009 04:17 am (UTC)
DONE! It's a little CRACKED OUT. :-D
Human Collaborator Flunkie Pool!fic Muse: Atlantis - Space gatejoyfulfeather on April 6th, 2009 03:16 am (UTC)
Hahahaa, that's excellent and the perfect way to fix it. I like how he thinks!
Little Red: trek - mind meld - lemonrocketmylittleredgirl on April 6th, 2009 04:17 am (UTC)
ME TOO. I told him that if I did not love him already, dating him for this long would be TOTALLY WORTH IT just for this!
miera_c: crimemiera_c on April 6th, 2009 03:39 am (UTC)
Hey at this point I'm just grateful Manny Coto kept it from being worse than it was, even if he had to go to the President of Paramount and get her to intervene because RICK BERMAN IS A FUCKING TOOL.

Seriously. On the list of "creators who destroyed a franchise" number 1 now and for all time is, of course, George Lucas. Joe "Asshole" Mallozzi is #3, and Rick Berman is smack in between them.

*ahem* Sorry. My bitter is showing.
Little Red: trek - wank burns - icons_of_isismylittleredgirl on April 6th, 2009 04:19 am (UTC)
Seriously, that episode BROKE MEEEEE. I am loving Enterprise again and writing Enterprise again and did. not. want. to. watch. eet but now perhaps I can due to the wonder of dream sequence possibilities?

I will just pretend that "Terra Prime" is series ender, of course, and "TATV" will be this weird bonus feature from Riker's dream world after Troi sexes his brain out or something. :-P
miera_cmiera_c on April 6th, 2009 01:46 pm (UTC)
I didn't think anything could be worse than the S3 finale with the Nazis, and then TATV proved, no, here's a lower place. I knew the spoilers so I was mentally prepared for what happened, but then it was just the most pointless, lamest non-redshirt death ever on Trek and I was fuming for weeks. All because Berman basically was flipping the bird to everyone including the fans by killing off his favorite character. Bah.

I'm totally on board with it all being a dream of Riker's. Or even a bad holodeck program with massive historical inaccuracies. Which I think was my mental explanation at the time.

(Also if Troi and Riker are "fat" in that episode? I'm Jabba the Hutt.)
Little Redmylittleredgirl on April 6th, 2009 04:54 pm (UTC)
Haha, well, they aren't as trim as they were in the days of the spandex is what he means, I assume. ;)

I refuse the bad holodeck program one because the destruction of the TNG episode made me soooooo angry. So I like the crazy dream sequence. :)
Opal: flailsoparu on April 6th, 2009 04:02 am (UTC)
*hugs you*

one hour of EPIC SUFFERING is completely unfair. Can't you strike certain episodes of suckage from canon?

*rocks back and forth* It's okay, you'll get green slave girls and eyebrows soon enough.

(what did you think of troi and worf dating?)
Little Red: trek - ani plzstop - rightoniconsmylittleredgirl on April 6th, 2009 04:22 am (UTC)
I KNOW, RIGHT!? He says I don't have to watch "Profit and Lace" (DS9 - transgendered Quark - OMGWTF) again since I just watched it recently after MUCH whining and kvetching on my part, and srsly, I'd watch that one five times in a row if it kept me from this finale. Aughghghghghgh.

At least we can go right from that to classic Trek and espers and whatnot. ;) (I think that's the first episode...)

Troi and Worf? At the time I was 11 or 12 and didn't really mind either way. Now it just leaves me with a big "WHY?" sort of question. It just makes Worf look silly. At no point did it make my eyes bleed, though. It's just so WEIRD and slightly uncomfortable.
Opal: c/p kissoparu on April 6th, 2009 05:13 am (UTC)
Ah, classic Trek. I haven't watched much, but I do enjoy it. Spock and McCoy are awesome.

It does make Worf look silly! Worf needs someone taller, more vicious, someone who could growl...

Where you on the Trip/T'Pol bandwagon?
Clyde: simsuzvoy on April 6th, 2009 09:33 am (UTC)
*crosses fingers*
Leyenn: tng 20th anniversaryleyenn on April 6th, 2009 10:44 am (UTC)
I NEVER understood why the hell they didn't go post-Nemesis with that episode, given that oh, that's when it was filmed. It would have cost them so much less in sets, not to mention actually having the possibility that people would like it when it aired. I've managed to watch it once and really, I've never had so much trouble suspending my belief when it comes to Trek. OLD UNIFORMS =/= MAGICAL TIME LOSS MACHINES.

*sporks Berman and Braga*

Your boyfriend's idea, on the other hand, is total win. *applauds him*
Andy: vegas_dreamankareeda on April 6th, 2009 10:49 am (UTC)
*huggles* Good luck. :)
(Deleted comment)
redbeardredbeard on April 6th, 2009 05:14 pm (UTC)
What? I'm sorry. That episode doesn't exist. It is dead to me.
tigersvoice on April 6th, 2009 08:01 pm (UTC)
I feel much better about it after reading the ret-con novel. The basic premise of the novel is that TATV was part of a government cover-up of the real events preceding the Romulan War, and that TRIP LIVES. So canonically the whole episode is a load of bull.
anranr on April 15th, 2009 01:12 am (UTC)
The novel "The Good That Men Do" that came out afterwards focuses on Trip and actually goes a long way into repairing the finale. It basically states that the episode itself was full of crap, and the book is what really happened and, unlike the episode, the book makes sense.