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17 June 2004 @ 11:22 pm
the creeping progress of civilization  
father: "You know what I learned today? After half an hour on the phone with Verizon trying to sign up for a new long-distance plan? You can't get Caller ID in our area. They have no plans to change this, either."

me: "Well, we're not getting cable internet in our area until 2007. People will have cable internet on Mars by 2007."

father: "Cable internet? You want cable internet? Two years ago it was really big news that we could get voicemail here! It's like we're living in 1985!"

mother: "You think that's bad? The plumber came today. He's also a volunteer fireman. He said he's never heard of our street before, because our street isn't on the fire department map."

me: "That sounds... dangerous."

father: "I'm serious, here. Do you think there is anywhere else in this country that's so unimportant that you can't get caller ID?"

mother: *holds up magazine* "Look! They called Berkshire County the cultural center of New England!"

father: "Now I'm depressed."
feel: hickish
hear: the soft twang of a banjo on the front porch
Allie O'Nalliesings on June 18th, 2004 10:02 am (UTC)
I know what you mean, my county is known as the black hole of Pennsylvania, because as soon as you get near it, NO cell phone coverage. And where I worked is considered toll calling from where I live. But I do know that I've seen fire trucks on our street, so at least they know our street name. (Although the gas company still has our address as "Rural Route 1, next door to Wanda.")
Little Redmylittleredgirl on June 18th, 2004 08:38 pm (UTC)
Wow. It's like looking in a mirror.

We have *some* cell phone coverage (luckily, my house is included in the "some"), but the mountains make it spotty. Oh, and the few towns that pass legislation every year forbidding cellular towers to be built.

Although the gas company still has our address as "Rural Route 1, next door to Wanda."

That's GREAT!! Rural landmarks are the best. Especially when the landmark doesn't actually exist anymore. "Turn left after the old Walker house." "Um... there's no house on that corner." "I know. But there was like 40 years ago." "Oh. Clearly."

We also have a 4-way intersection where every street is "East Street." How does that HAPPEN? In the 1800s could you really go "east" in every direction?? My father suspects that this was some sort of revolutionary war tactic -- someday the descendants of British redcoats will come out of the hills, still lost.

-- Little Red
Lisa Yaegerlisayaeger on June 18th, 2004 10:36 am (UTC)
WoW! That is depressing. You need to move here :-)
Little Redmylittleredgirl on June 18th, 2004 09:37 pm (UTC)
I *do*!!

And, hey, if my father goes back on his promise to get cable for July and August, I just might! I can support myself only working 10 hours a week, right? People will pay me MAD money for my superior secretarial ski11z in Maine!

-- Little Red
Lisa Yaegerlisayaeger on June 18th, 2004 09:40 pm (UTC)
LOL! If there's mad money in Maine, lemme at it!
(Deleted comment)
Little Redmylittleredgirl on June 18th, 2004 09:38 pm (UTC)
I only wish... *shakes head sadly*
Samin_parentheses on June 18th, 2004 02:08 pm (UTC)
Cultural center of New England, huh? How's that again? I guess Shakespeare festivals and art museums don't require call waiting or internet connections. Or, you know, the ability to put out the occasional fire.
Little Redmylittleredgirl on June 18th, 2004 09:39 pm (UTC)

You made me laugh at work. I pretended there was an amusing misspelling in one of the web orders I'm working on.

And yeah... we're very cultured and snooty and tanglewood-y around here until something burns down...
elly: Seriously?elly427 on June 18th, 2004 11:55 pm (UTC)
You're a hick! you're a hick! you're a hick! you're a hick!

I understand if you're too busy combing your mullet to respond to this post. Or maybe you're talking to Jimmy Bob, your brother-uncle. Or maybe you're too busy tuning up the ole pickup. I'm not sure, there are so many hick-like activities for you to choose from.

I'm also tempted to start listing the Amish-like things you may also be doing at the moment (shining your horse-drawn buggy, combing your father's incredibly long beard, making more black clothing) but I think I've taunted you enough.

I'm mean. When did that happen?
Little Redmylittleredgirl on June 19th, 2004 05:55 am (UTC)
*stamps foot*

Okay, I am. I have totally been known to chew grass seed and go to school barefoot.

And my father totally just showed up with a bag of amish friendship bread from one of his students today being all "This is a bag of goo. Make it do what it's supposed to do."

So... I'd protest, but I'm on shaky ground.
ellyelly427 on June 20th, 2004 01:11 am (UTC)
Re: HEY!!
Amish friendship bread! Omigod! Ha! My sister got that once. It WAS goo. And urk. Yuck.

(hick hick hick hick)
Little Redmylittleredgirl on June 21st, 2004 01:04 am (UTC)
Re: HEY!!
*narrows eyes*

And to continue my idea-pimpage from YOUR livejournal -- come be a hick with me! I can show you all sorts of, um, cows! And woods! And... oh, God, they just covered the downtown of the closest small city with big brightly painted sheep sculptures!.
-a.frog/gorf.a-froggoddess on June 19th, 2004 01:52 pm (UTC)
western mass pride...
hee hee, am i the only one who thinks it's kinda cool to live in an area devoid of caller-id and spotty cell reception? hmm...i wonder if greenfield has caller-id...meredith and i have been spending absurd amounts of money using *69 to find out who calls and doesn't leave messages and have talked about adding caller-id to our phone plan... anyway---my calendar says that i'm going to call you in about a week and a half---so, beware! :)
love frog
Little Redmylittleredgirl on June 19th, 2004 06:54 pm (UTC)
Re: western mass pride...
Perhaps caller ID works in your area -- I don't even think *69 works here. At least, it didn't when I was in high school.

And I don't think it's completely uncool... "quaint" is the word I would use :)

And YAY!! for impending callingness and hangingoutwithfrog-ness!!