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08 January 2011 @ 09:36 pm
The Ultimate Holodeck Episode (and other less ultimate ones too)  
I am still going on my holodeck marathon, though I haven't been blogging it due to vacations and laziness. To recap: (spoilers! images! etc!)

TNG, Season 3:
"Booby Trap"


"Great. Another woman who won't get personal with me on the holodeck."

The episode opens with Geordi winning the Trying Too Hard award when he brings a date to the holodeck and scares her off with a violin serenade. Later, to save the ship, he recreates the Utopia Planitia drafting room where the Enterprise was designed and a holographic version of Sexy Ship Architect Dr. Leah Brahms, who offers to make him Italian food and they kiss and really, I'm surprised anyone on this ship ever gets any work done. Most shocking: there isn't a single holographic malfunction! The episode seems to be about the value of computers vs. humans, because the big issue is whether to let the ship's computer pilot the ship out of danger without human help, or have the humans do it without the computer's help. They pick the humans, and save the day, but Geordi still falls in love with the ship's computer, so the moral isn't clear.


"A Matter of Perspective"


Riker protests holographic!Riker's amorous advances (toward the alien chick).

I don't even know why I included this in my marathon. The whole episode takes place on the holodeck, with everyone's testimony in an extradition hearing being rendered holographically, because that's how justice happens in the future, or something. Absurdly, the holographic recreation of the science station generates real krieger waves that are disrupting the ship's systems. Whatever. Next!


"Hollow Pursuits"


Program warnings: RPF, AU, midgets.

This episode is amazing. Painfully shy Lieutenant "Broccoli" Barclay recreates the ship's crew on the holodeck so he can play-act at being a suave, manly sex god. In the real world, everybody hates him, because he's totally weird and never shows up to work on time because he's busy being a suave, manly holodeck sex god. Hilarity, awkwardness, and some bizarre consent questions ensue. Should it be legal to recreate crewmembers on the holodeck? What if you just want to have a fencing match with a midget Riker? Why the hell did I spend my whole childhood thinking the random guy who played Lt. Duffy was Matthew Broderick?


Not Matthew Broderick.



TNG Season 4:

"Future Imperfect"

Riker "ends this charade!"

Riker is trapped in the Inception of alien holodecks. First, he believes that he's in his own future and has lost his memory. In the future, he has a son, the Federation has a new treaty with the Romulans, and Deanna has the most ridiculous stripe of gray hair. The son's mother is apparently Minuet, Miss Holographic Sultry Jazz from "11001001," so Riker realizes that it's all a sham. Then it seems he's being held captive by superbly inept Romulans. Then he learns that he's actually being held by an alien child - Riker's "son" - who has been living alone on the planet with only a holodeck for company. It's actually really awwwww! when Riker invites the kid to the Enterprise, where we never see him again.

TNG Season 5: Nothing! Y NO LOVE SEASON 5!?!?

TNG Season 6:
"A Fistful of Datas"


Data, Troi and Worf in cowboy hats render your argument invalid.

I've heard a lot of people hate this episode, and I don't get it! It's so much fun! Data and the main computer cross some wires, and things go a little batty. Worf (grudgingly) and Deanna (ecstatically) are partaking in an "Ancient West" holodeck adventure co-written by Alexander and Lt. Barclay of I am the Goddess of Empathy, cast off your inhibitions fame, when the computer glitches start messing with the program. The safeties go off-line (of course), the holodeck is sealed off from the rest of the ship (naturally) and all the program's characters are turning into Data. One of the evil Datas kidnaps Alexander, and 'Counselor Durango' decides that they should play out the program so that it will shut itself off. They all survive, and Worf learns the true meaning of Christmas. Outside the holodeck, Data starts talking like a cowboy gunslinger, and the Beverly Crusher Drama Club's rehearsal derails when Riker's script turns into Data's poetry. (I don't know why, but Riker doing a dramatic reading of Data's poetry is one of my favorite scenes from all of TNG.)

Holodeck safeties are a TERRIBLE IDEA! "This program can kill you!" should not be a setting that can be switched on and off. Why not just write the programs so that weapons and characters are non-lethal? This seems like it would solve a lot of damn problems!


"Ship in a Bottle"


Secret hologram Doctor Crusher examines surprise human Doctor Moriarty for unwitting Picard.

This episode is pretty much the ultimate holodeck episode, in that no other ones really needed to be made after this (but we keep making them, because they are lolarious). The Nefarious Doctor Moriarty from Season 2 is accidentally reactivated, and he walks right off the holodeck exclaiming "I think, therefore I am!" It appears that he has spontaneously become human, and he begs a thoroughly baffled Picard to find a way of turning his holographic lover real as well. It turns out that Moriarty has recreated the Enterprise - and all her crew, right down to Crusher worrying about morality - on the holodeck itself, so Picard, Data and Barclay won't realize that they're still inside. Picard gives the holographic Enterprise his voice-command codes, which Moriarty than uses to commandeer the real Enterprise, all from within the holodeck. His goal is to free himself of the holodeck and become real. Once they figure out they're on the holodeck, Picard uses the holographic holodeck within the holographic Enterprise to program yet another Enterprise to trick Moriarty into a flash drive. It's like nesting dolls of craziness. At the end, Picard offhandedly suggests that maybe their whole universe is actually someone's computer program somewhere, and Barclay never sleeps again in his life.

In short, this episode is freaking brilliant. The exposition in the teaser is horrible, but skip that and it's one of the best things ever. I have seen this episode before and I still fall for parts of it. A-MA-ZING. Sadly, this means this marathon might be all downhill from here.

(Next up might be "Emergence"? I have seriously never been able to figure out what is going on in that episode. Maybe this time! Stay tuned!)
 
 
feel: accomplishedaccomplished
 
 
 
a universal sigh: Voy - Seven - red lips gold hairnaushika on January 9th, 2011 05:48 am (UTC)
LOL, I love these reviews. It's cracking my shit up. The Inception of holodecks, loooolololol. These are some great episodes, good choices!
Little Red: trek - crusher riker laugh - yappichickmylittleredgirl on January 9th, 2011 06:08 am (UTC)
Yayyy!! :) That makes me happy. I'm just watching them in order, so there will surely be some sucky episodes coming soon...
Clydesuzvoy on January 9th, 2011 10:14 am (UTC)
OH, TNG

<333333333333
Little Red: trek - pc big goodbye - viresse_iconsmylittleredgirl on January 12th, 2011 03:43 am (UTC)
OH TNG! They have some of the most watchable crack episodes of all. <3
Opal: default borgoparu on January 9th, 2011 11:40 am (UTC)
I keep watching Emergence drunk. Me likes it better that way.

tee hee. I like the hats and SO agree with you on safeties. Holodecks should be all padded-room-ish.

I really love the countess also...with a flashdrive at the end, awesome!
Little Red: trek - hoshi srsly - afterglowssmylittleredgirl on January 12th, 2011 03:46 am (UTC)
YES. YES. Imagine if first person shooter games could actually kill someone if you pressed the wrong key sequence?

The countess was insanely pretty! I looked her up to see if I knew her from anywhere, and I really don't. Nice job guest casting, TNG!
Opal: voy ship pushoparu on January 12th, 2011 01:50 pm (UTC)
considering how often I hit the wrong buttons, I should be banned from such things... ;)

*props to TNG guest casting*
Ridiculously Fanaticnel_ani on January 9th, 2011 11:56 am (UTC)
I don't know why, but Riker doing a dramatic reading of Data's poetry is one of my favorite scenes from all of TNG.

OMG I'd completely forgotten about that! I bet Data's poetry was way superior of the play.

Why not just write the programs so that weapons and characters are non-lethal?

My theory is that everyone on the Enterprise are secretly adrenaline junkies, and whenever they get bored with work, or come across too many peaceful aliens, they go to the holodeck and are all "oh my, it's trying to kill us, damn, I never saw that coming".

Data just comes along because he's trying to be as human as possible. ;)

At the end, Picard offhandedly suggests that maybe their whole universe is actually someone's computer program somewhere, and Barclay never sleeps again in his life.

Hahaha!

Oh man, that one! I love that they brought back Moriarty, he was awesome, and that ep was such a mindfuck. \o/
Little Red: trek - crusher riker laugh - yappichickmylittleredgirl on January 12th, 2011 03:49 am (UTC)
By all accounts it sounded like a horrible play. Although I did love the Beverly Crusher Drama Club rendition of "Frame of Mind" that one time so much that my sister wanted to do the play-within-the-show as her final theatre project in high school. My script was not nearly as awesome as the episode.

Your theory about the holodecks sounds incredibly true. They don't let Data in on what they're doing, because they know he wouldn't get it. ;)

Moriarty was SO AWESOME! *\o/* My knoweldge of culture and literature and stuff increased so much watching that episode.
(Deleted comment)
Little Red: trek - ani my plan - rightoniconsmylittleredgirl on January 12th, 2011 03:50 am (UTC)
I kind of really love Hollow Pursuits! More and more as I get older, in fact, because I see the fandom parallels and it makes me giggle.

The ending of Fistful of Datas is truly genius. Love whoever game up with that. :)
Samin_parentheses on January 9th, 2011 07:31 pm (UTC)
Just on the off chance you've never seen this (and I haven't already sent it to you): Fashion It So.
Little Red: trek - scotty omgwtf - icons_of_isismylittleredgirl on January 12th, 2011 03:53 am (UTC)
YOU HAVE NOT SHOWN ME THIS. THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
Samin_parentheses on January 12th, 2011 04:03 am (UTC)
I KNOW. It is my favoritest.