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04 October 2011 @ 08:00 pm
Dancing With the Stars: Pretty When You Cry  
Yesterday, on Dancing With the Stars, everyone's lives sucked and they channeled it into a whole night of really great dances. No one sucked! I mean, except Kristin, who just sucks on principle. The worst part about Personal Story Week is that when someone gets voted off, it's like, "I'm sorry, your greatest tragedy didn't suck enough to tug at the hearts of America, so next time someone asks you about your great personal triumphs, you can talk about how you got over this crushing loss on Dancing With the Stars." If Carson and Anna go home, it will be my biggest tragedy.

More importantly, two EPIC THINGS occurred on Twitter last night. Item 1: Hines hijacked his twitter account back from the hands of his publicist to write:



If you don't think this means they are so totally having a secret affair, you're reading the wrong blog.

Item 2:



OH CARSON KRESSLEY, WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS ONLY A BABY GLITTERBUG AND PREVAILING FASHION WISDOM PREVENTED ME FROM BUYING THE PINK CORDUROY JUMPER OF MY DREAMS??

ALSO, I'M BASICALLY FAMOUS NOW.

Still, I deign to blog among the common folk since I know you all patiently humor can't live without my DWTS recaps. Onward! Personal Story Tuesday! So many tears can only end in... more tears.

*break!*

Tonight's timewaster episode includes a repeat of all the performances with "never before seen footage," like last week. Tom teases a "surprise guest" in the results show, and I'm going to bet it's Julianne Hough, who wasn't supposed to come til next week but who was in the studio today anyway shooting a promo, according to Tom's twitter. Once again, threeish comments per couple:

Team Kardouchian: Cheryl is making me like Rob a little bit, because he dances well. Rob has never heard of Guys and Dolls, and Cheryl makes a "whatever, Bruno, I'm only paid to teach him to dance" face. I really don't want there to be any merit to the dating rumors, but Cheryl confesses he felt really good to dance with. Et tu, Cheryl?

*break!*

Team CHYNNADOVE: Chynna's dress and dance and hair flower are all really lovely. I like getting to see Tony's choreography! Tony is so giddy about getting the first 9 of the season! Man, I want that boy to make good this season.

Lacey and Chaz: Still loving the whole 70s scene and Lacey in blonde Cher-hair. I think they were unnecessarily hard on Chaz, score-wise, because his hips do get into it, and because the costumes and deserve a 7 or two. Chaz, while icing his knee, says "Good on ya, Len, for being nice!" and Lacey goes "Is that a British thing?" Man, I hope they don't go home, but I'm not sure his body can take whatever dance comes next.

I like seeing the dances again, but I don't like having to hear the judge's comments twice.

*break!*

I probably don't need to recap Tuesdays. Tom is doing it for me.

Kristin and Mark: Okay, this is worth it to rewatch it just so I can focus entirely on Mark's facial gymnastics. And neck gymnastics. Boy has a good chiropractor, I think. Apparently the douchey-looking guy in the audience is Kristin's ex who publicly dumped her. She doesn't have ANY other friends or hangers-on she could give her comp tickets to? Len, as a lead-in to criticism: "I'm smiling because... I'm smiling." Mark reprises his score-rap in the confessional booth. Chelsea was way awesomer than Kristin.

Carson and Anna! OH GOD, THEY JUST NEED TO WIN THE MIRRORBALL. It couldn't POSSIBLY go as well in anyone else's home as it would in Carson's! Anna sassily winks at one point in the dance. I'm sure there has never before been a tango done to that song. Elisabetta in the audience - adorable! :) In the confessional, Carson says: "Most improved... I rest my case, Nancy Grace." Anna makes the best faces whenever Carson unexpectedly calls someone out, haha.

*break!*

kayjay86 and the other members of the Glitter Cabal haven't made it over here yet, which makes me terrified that SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED in the results show and they don't want to watch me bask in my sad, sad last hour of hope. Please don't be Carson and Anna! Or David and Kym. Or Hope and Maks, because they had the most ridiculous ontheredcarpet interview that I'll fetch in a commercial break where I can't figure out

JR and Karina: Oh god, this song. This dance. I just. No other Rumbas need apply. And when she hugs him in front of the judges and is totally just clinging to him, I just- and Carrie Ann is so touched she doesn't even pick on Karina's lift, and that is saying something. Oh, in the confessional, Karina is just SOBBING, and JR says he's so blessed to have a second chance and "for those who didn't make it home, I live in your honor." INTENSE. I saw a link to a video or article or something where it asked the question "Does Karina Smirnoff think one of the judge is out for them this season?" and I sure hope her response was "Um, no, why do you ask?" because bickering about scores after this would really cut into my great adoring love for her right now.

Team Little Red's Boyfriend and Nancy: I'm worried about them tonight, so I'm glad that Nancy in the confessional says "No matter the score, that was the dance of a lifetime for me." Tristan bobs his head next to her really adorably. And I really really love the song and Nancy's dress and the dance was pretty okay too? So, yeah, worried.

*break!*

Team Ricki's Wig and Derek: There's a tight shot on Anna and Carson standing up to cheer for Ricki and Derek, in a way that suggests no one else does. I think they're like "Yeah, yeah, Derek's brilliant and blowing the roof off traditional dance." They look shocked that they're in first, and Derek says it's "epic." Weren't they in first place last week? Derek must practice his surprised look in the mirror.

Maks's Last Hope: Holy shit, this is even more explicit than I remember, for DWTS. He totally feels her up! "I swear, this is just what happens in the Cha-Cha. Oh yeah, the fishnets too. That's required." I'm really worried about these two, which is sad, because I think Maks might actually have met his match, if he can get her - she's a tough cookie who's not afraid of him, but is vulnerable in the arena of sparkly dancing in which he happens to excel. The cutaways to Hope's soccer team LOLing at the judges are fabulous. Hope confesses that Maks told her about working on her walk, and she was too worried about doing "a LAP DANCE on NATIONAL TELEVISION" and there's a cutback to Maks fondling her boobs while Maks tries to interrupt her confession and fails. Seriously, can one of the Hope fans who reads this to find out what in the epic fuck is this glitter crack show on about and why do I suddenly find myself enjoying it let me know if she's married or something so I can determine how guilty I should feel about pairing her up with Maks in my head for kinky sex? Thanks!

*break!*



THIS.

David and Kym: I'm still not sure what her idea was with the patterned beach wrap for this outfit. I have friends who are convinced she's knocked up, but she was wearing a sports bra or something in the rehearsal footage and has abs for days and probably didn't call Hines' QB a douchebag while completely sober, so... yeah. I do love this song, and it worked well. David quotes Coco in the confessional: "Coco wanted a 24, actually. Then she thought it wasn't realistic, and said 23... 21... just get a 20." Coco is MVP of Season 13. Tom asks if 24 was enough to Keep Them Safe. Oh geez.

Real Actual Results Show! LIIIIIIIIIVE* recorded earlier this evening. Brooke looks like she's wearing a dress knitted out of those balls-on-a-steel-chain that are used as curtain chains in my office building.

Mary J. Blige with former champion partners Val and Troupe Dasha. Mary J. is on her game - this is great! Oh man, on the sidelines, the judges are grooving, including Len. Dasha and Val are pretty damn epic. Are they a thing? I ask because Anna and Jonathan have impressed on me the idea that champion couples end up married.

Brooke says that Chaz and Lacey are "adrift" at the bottom. First three - JR & Karina, Ricki and Derek, Chaz & Lacey. The judges say he looked distracted. Backstage, Chaz says that this 18 was their highest score, and Lacey laughs, because their lowest score was a 17.

Backstage, Peta is adjusting her sparkly teal dress behind Ricki and Derek. Whut? Was she on the show last night and I missed it? Ricki cries in the confessional. Man, I wish I drank on weekdays so I could drink for crying.

Man, the shot of JR and Karina before the dance starts is intense as they both try not to cry while listening to the rehearsal package, and Karina is gasp-crying into her mic when the dance ends. Oh baby. And there's a big group hug backstage!! Even Maks tells him he was awesome, and there's a big "you're an inspiration" "you too!" lovefest between JR and Chaz. Karina says that she will cherish this dance for the rest of her "dancing and undancing days" and cries and he hugs her and... wow.

RESULTS! Tom and Brooke talk over each other. The first couple safe - JR and Karina! THANK YOU, show. Let's not fuck around with this particular result. Next couple safe... Ricki and Derek! Derek practices his surprised face again. Chaz and Lacey... Chaz fist-bumps someone - JR? THEY'RE SAFE TOO! Lacey is actually "WHUUUUT!?" about this. Has Chaz been in a group-hug all-safe group every single week? Tom: "Is a favorite going home tonight?" STRESS. Brooke says I don't want to miss this night. Actually, I really might, depending on the outcome.

*break!*

Encore goes to Chynna and Tony! Maks took Tony to the hospital earlier today with a shoulder injury so I guess he's okay? Whew! Oh man, I hope they're not in jeopardy so they're giving them the encore before they send them home!? I CAN'T EMOTIONALLY HANDLE THIS SHOW! I think Hope and Nancy are the most in danger, but they've been known to surprise me before. Chynna almost starts singing during the dance. Aww! Standing O, and still lovely!

Four couple elimination group:

Before Nancy dances, Tom walks over to her and says "kick ass." That's AWESOME. After, Tristan tells her to "just take it all in." Oh, and afterwards she gets to swing her baby girl into her arm off-camera!

Maks tells Hope "Manhandle me, slowly." Hope: "That's going to happen." JESUS LORD, I don't have to write porn for this couple. Maks makes Hope say "I feel a little bit sexy." and then wants her to say it louder, so she says "I feel like sex on a stick..." HAHAHA.

Backstage, Carson helps Karina with her earrings and then says "You're the competition!" Then dances amazingly. And someone says "I love you." Brooke tells Carson he's her hero.

Rob and Cheryl. Rob apparently kissed her at the end, and they discuss how he didn't slip her tongue, and he says "I'm a gentleman! I asked for your permission first." Uhhh. So basically Rob is the biggest Rob/Cheryl shipper.

RESULTS!! Safe 1st: Rob and Cheryl! I like them less than all the other couples here, but okay. CARSON AND ANNA are in JEOPARDY are you KIDDING ME I CAN'T EVEN. Nancy and Tristan... are safe!? OMG! Maks high-fives Tristan. Hope and Maks... are... also in jeopardy. Hope tells Maks, "Don't make me laugh." Ha! I HATE THIS BOTTOM TWO OUT OF THREE SO FAR, I WANT THEM BOTH TO STAY. SHOW, YOU ARE ON NOTICE.

*break!*

Who are even left? Chynna and David and...? OH. KRISTIN AND MARK. LET'S GET RID OF THEM PLEASE.

Oooh, filmed segment! How close are our stars? Six degrees of separation between our stars. I can't even begin to explain this but it's amazing, especially the bit where Carson beat Nancy on celebrity jeopardy, and Carson being an extra in Hairspray. Ricki lives in David's old house. Chaz and Chynna had playdates together when they were kids! Hahaha, they have to go through Kevin Bacon to get to JR, and something very complicated to get him back over to Hope. Yeah, not recapping all of that!

Next week is movie score week? Gone with the Wind theme with the troupe, Peta and Val! Aussie Rock Chick!? Do they let her wear punk hair in Scarlett O'Hara dress? YES. It's teal, and matches her dress. Forever LOL. This is so lovely and formal! OMG, Aussie Rock Chick has a tattoo of a treble clef on her back and it's awesome! Good job for not making her cover it, show! And Anna's husband Jonathan choreographed this! Will we get an Anna & Jonathan results dance this season? We had better! They really are my permanent DWTS OTP.

*break!*

Cher is going to be in the audience next week. Lacey is the most excited. Kristin thinks she "gave it her all" and will make it through. Chynna has "real abandonment issues." Chynna talks like she's safe, because Brooke asks her how it will be to say to goodbye to someone. David says he's all right even though he's been in the bottom two before, and he's lived because he's gotten a spray-tan and danced with Kym.

Macy's Stars of Dance: THE TWIST STARRING LEN GOODMAN!! and grammy winner Estelle, who I've never heard of, but she's very pretty. She brought her own backup dancers. HOLY SHIT THAT IS CHUBBY CHECKER!?!?!?? HE IS ALIVE AND ON DWTS!??? YOU ARE KIDDING ME! Is that Chelsie in this group of random dancers! Len is led out from behind the jduges table and does The Twist, as promised. For like one second, haha, but he was having a blast. Talk about a surprise guest! Holy legends of the 60s, Batman!

*break!*

Okay, so, Carson and Anna have to be safe to maintain glitter in the universe. I couldn't bear to see Kym's sadface if they aren't safe - in fact, they're jerks for making her wait this long. Hope and Maks need to have porn. And Chynna and Tony! This is Tony's YEAR! So, Mark and Kristin have got to go if there's any justice in the world.

Portland Local News previews: Tonight - a woman wants to buy the perfect wedding dress, but the dress shop closed! Yes, let's get the local news on that.

Mary J. again! I love this bitch. She is a fabulous get for DWTS as far as my level of entertainment goes. And she is wearing a glittery costume which suggests she is also loving this alliance of her & Planet Mirrorball. The song, 25/8, is great and I love her voice and I need to download this album immediately. One of her dancers is kind of creeping me out a little bit, though.

Tony tells Chynna "I got you" while they're dancing and tells her to take a bow. Len says she'll be here for weeks and weeks. DON'T JINX HER LEN.

Kym is kind of frazzled backstage as she tells David to dance from the heart, and Coco MVP Of Season 13 is adorable. Kym says they could be contenders now. I think Kym and David both hug Courtney.

Kristin's like "My ex-fiance's here! I'm so nervous!" Shit, did she not invite him!? THAT was douchey of him! Mark is the MOST sympathetic person in this situation.

Results - SAFE... CHYNNA AND TONY! MUCH DESERVED. Kym, please don't throw up. YAY, they're safe!! Kym: "OH MY GOSH." My thoughts exactly. Kristin and Mark... are in jeopardy. YESSSS. My faves still have a chance! The crowd boos. GUYS, THERE IS ONLY ONE ACCEPTABLE WAY THIS CAN GO.

*break!*

The stage goes black and pink - THAT'S A GOOD SIGN, RIGHT??? SAFE... CARSON AND ANNA!!! The crowd starts yelling it during the dramatic pause. OH. THANK. GLITTER.

"Not necessarily the bottom two..." Uh oh. Mark has a lot of fans who have millions of email addresses and vote.

Oh geez, they go to Len, Len is like WTF, these two should be fighting for the Mirrorball trophy. "It's just madness, Brooke." Len hates America's voters, got it.

LEAVING... IS... KRISTIN AND MARK!!! OH MY GOD! HOPE AND MAKS LIVE TO SMOLDER ON ANOTHER DAY! THE FORMER SOVIETS MAKS AND ANNA WIN A SMALL TRIUMPH! THIS SEASON IS THE GREATEST THING EVER! I really hope no Kristin fans are reading this (why would they?) because I really don't want to celebrate too loudly on someone else's tears but, okay, Carson told me I'm allowed to wear pink forever and now he's staying on the show, so. Also, I don't hate Mark. I love-to-hate him a little bit because he's ridiculous, but I like him if I like his partner, and hell, the mime-Jive was fabulous last season. Mark looks okay, Derek is gaping in the background. Tom guesses that it's because people thought they were fine and didn't vote... or, you know, her personal story was stupid and everyone else's had some kind of emotional relevance. Ricki looks heartbroken, far more so than either Mark or Kristin, though Kristin mouths "I'M SO BUMMED!" Hope and Nancy hug in a little circle of their own, haha.

We will see Mark's spats in the results shows again, I am sure.

The season of ALL MY HOPES AND DREAMS and the liveblogging of my slow descent (further) into glitter insanity continue here next week!
 
 
 
(Deleted comment)
Little Red: b5 - talia pretty lie - thatfangirlmylittleredgirl on October 5th, 2011 03:43 am (UTC)
OMG HELLO!! I was feeling like I was talking to myself over here. AND I KNOW, RIGHT??? I actually just wanted to use it as a lead-in to my tweet, haha. Like an opening act. ;)
elly: *clings*elly427 on October 5th, 2011 03:42 am (UTC)
OMG INTERNET FAMOUS. That's incredibly awesome!
Little Red: trek - scotty omgwtf - icons_of_isismylittleredgirl on October 5th, 2011 03:44 am (UTC)
Twitter has just taken a wrecking ball to the fourth wall - WHAT IS REALITY??
(Deleted comment)
Little Redmylittleredgirl on October 5th, 2011 04:12 am (UTC)
Oh HO. Excellent. This is useful for, you know, something I might do.

Actually, can I write smutty fanfic about Hope Solo? I'm pretty sure that soccer fans are scary. They might hurt me.
(Deleted comment)
Little Red: make pr0n not warmylittleredgirl on October 5th, 2011 04:34 am (UTC)
He'd be egging her on for her sexiness and teasing her... and then she would make him scream for mercy, I'm sure. Mmm.
(Deleted comment)
Little Red: dwts - logo sparkliesmylittleredgirl on October 5th, 2011 04:24 am (UTC)
Fair enough! I think we just learned more about Maks's sexual fantasies than we needed to know.
Vickivicki595 on October 5th, 2011 04:08 am (UTC)
Hope's definitely not married, though rumours swirl regarding the boyfriend. (And hey, it's boyfriend rumours at least as opposed to half the rest of the team... ;) )
Little Red: dwts - logo sparkliesmylittleredgirl on October 5th, 2011 04:23 am (UTC)
Oooh! I love it when my gaydar and non-gaydar ping accurately. :)

And yay! Will soccer fen kill me if I write porn about her? Like, find me and kill me? I do live like a block from a soccer pub.
Vickivicki595 on October 5th, 2011 04:39 am (UTC)
Well, I haven't been killed by basketball fen for mine... ;)

Also. There's plenty of Hope stuff around - mostly f/f - but I'm sure no one will hunt you down and kill you for daring to conform to her confirmed sexuality! ;) (And I don't think you're the only one thinking Maks/Hope pornage!)
Little Red: make pr0n not warmylittleredgirl on October 5th, 2011 04:42 am (UTC)
I don't know any of the people in your basketball fic, but I love it anyway when I see it and read it! Like that one about pirates! OMG.

I'm pretty sure Maks is also writing this in his head and it's bleeding into his choreography!
Vickivicki595 on October 5th, 2011 05:07 am (UTC)
Yay! That makes me happy! (I wish Portland still had a WNBA team because I'd totally pimp them out to you, but alas!)

Ha! It totally does seem to be that way, for sure! Bless ;)
Little Red: dwts - hines/kymmylittleredgirl on October 5th, 2011 05:11 am (UTC)
I love that we have a soccer team now! Although honestly, it breaks my heart that we no longer have ANY professional baseball once the Timbers moved into the old Beavers ballpark.

I don't watch basketball at all, really, but I SHOULD, because the NBA Trailblazers are our Major Sports Team here (and have often been our Only Sports Team...). I think I would like the WNBA better, though, for sure...
Vickivicki595 on October 5th, 2011 05:33 am (UTC)
Well, it's WNBA Finals time right now, so I guess that would be a good time for an introduction (I would be more enthusiastic if I liked either of the teams in the finals, but alas! The Seattle Storm are your closest team and are totally the best. In my completely unbiased opinion!)
Hil: USWNT | Hope Solohercircumstance on October 5th, 2011 04:26 am (UTC)
"Seriously, can one of the Hope fans who reads this to find out what in the epic fuck is this glitter crack show on about and why do I suddenly find myself enjoying it let me know if she's married or something so I can determine how guilty I should feel about pairing her up with Maks in my head for kinky sex? Thanks!"

Hope isn't married. It is debatable if she is single or not though. She is super shifty about that stuff in interviews. She likes guys who get her soccer career. Most recent guy in the mix is a normal looking dude who works for USMNT. Her old BF from 2007 still hangs around too. BFF? Who knows. Last word from Hope though is that she is single. Which could mean just about anything since she is a turnstile on some topics.

Maks and Hope...it's the first time I've seen a legit attractive guy in her inner circle so it hard not to scrutinize it. It is hard not to ship that, right? Star struck Maks is cute. And he likes soccer so.... I mean --- look at them in the background of this video. Or the background of this one. Might just be skinship. They do that to prep for acting all the time. On the other hand... if that isn't a full body handshake I don't know what is.
Little Red: dwts - logo sparkliesmylittleredgirl on October 5th, 2011 04:56 am (UTC)
It's SO HARD not to ship this! Eee! I'm going to just consider your comment as soccer fandom in general giving me the okay. You are the ambassador to Planet Glitter. We'll have a cocktail reception later.
Hil: USWNT | Hope Solo | Swaghercircumstance on October 5th, 2011 05:22 am (UTC)
I'm not sure I'm qualified right now. Still livid about ABC putting Hope in the bottom two to drum up ratings. She isn't used to Hollywood and television like some of them are so this manufactured drama was actually pretty cruel.

The thing about Hope is that she is only confident about being a goalkeeper. Everything else is secondary or adorably over her head like how she treats being pretty. She is more likely to brag about her BMI or scar collection or fitness level. So I'm really pissed that when she finally gets a good score, finally is listening to Maks about trusting things beyond soccer, does a freak'n lap dance in front of millions, and she gets hit with this. She hasn't tweeted after the show and she always does to thank her fans and even apologized with "disappointing" us after getting that 19 last week. Maks tweeted for her tonight and he sounded pissed. Arg. This is why I don't normally watch reality tv. Worse when a normal person like Hope gets caught up in it because you know she isn't faking anything.

Quick, write a fic while I am over here crying forever.
Little Red: dwts - hines/kymmylittleredgirl on October 5th, 2011 05:32 am (UTC)
Hahahahaha OKAY, I just posted a crazy thing while you posted a crazy thing, so we're even now.

If it makes you feel any better, I am SURE that Maks and the other pros warned her about this ahead of time (not meaning they know who will be In Jeopardy, but just that they would have warned her that this kind of crack happens on the show). It's really hard for athletes sometimes who haven't done showbizy things before to mentally make the switch between Fair Play Competition and this, which is escapist television as much as it's a competition. That being said, I'm sure Maks isn't helping, because he gets very very defensive of his celebrities and also has his own issues with remembering that It's A Show Not A Legit Competition.

AND IT'S THIS SHOW. MY GOD. IT DOES THINGS TO USSSSSS. WHAT DO THEY PUT IN THE GLITTER I SWEAR TO GOD.
Hil: Misc | Space Casehercircumstance on October 5th, 2011 06:02 am (UTC)
Battle Royale with glitter. She should have been warned. I mean, yeah, the costumes should have been an easy tip-off but Hope is used to putting on highlighter colored, slightly transparent kits in cold weather. Almost the same visual effect.

Dammit Maks! This was supposed to be fun rehab for her shoulder. She hadn't watched the show before or even knew who Maks was prior to being stalked on Sports Center. If she has been indoctrinated with his Mirror Ball envy then she is doomed. You'd think the lap dance would have been another obvious tip off... I mean the hours of practice ... ok, so I could totally see her taking that seriously too. I don't think she has an on/off switch for competitions. She is doomed.
Little Redmylittleredgirl on October 5th, 2011 07:40 am (UTC)
OH GOD, BATTLE ROYALE. That's that cracky Japanese movie, right? I can't even look it up because there might be photos and then I'll be traumatized ALL OVER AGAIN. But yeah, that.

I think everyone on the show gets really Mirrorball obsessed. Last season Kym was like, "It's RIDICULOUS, but when you're in it, it seems completely serious." (Though Kym in general is a sparkly ball of ridiculous wonderfulness so I kind of doubt the mirrorball is EVER ridiculous to her - though her sparkleness is a little dampened this season and I haven't seen her wearing a single tassel to speak of so we're clearly in a freakish mirror universe.)

OMG why the hell am I not in bed yet?? NNNGGHHHH THIS SHOW.
(no subject) - hercircumstance on October 5th, 2011 02:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mylittleredgirl on October 5th, 2011 05:14 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Little Red: dwts - logo sparkliesmylittleredgirl on October 5th, 2011 07:25 am (UTC)
p.s. *writes fic*
On the night Hope doesn't lose Dancing With the Stars, she almost gets drunk.

Not quite, because they've got a Foxtrot to start rehearsing in the morning. Before her first drink the evening's a blur anyway, but that's mostly the fault of the press line, of endless interchangeable reporters who don't ask about her conditioning or the opposing forward's strengths. The reporters know more than she does. Maks' hand is tense on her hip, though there's a practiced resignation in his tone: "I'm not upset for me. I'm upset for Hope." She doesn't quite figure out the best way to explain how uncomfortable it is to be playing a game when you can't see score.

"You did good," Maks says firmly while they wait for Karina and J.R. to finish with the next reporter in the queue. "I'm telling you that you did good. It's the show. Just move past it."

He's the expert here. She has no choice but to follow his lead, even if she doesn't believe him (even though she does, occasionally, when he catches her at the right moment and she stops feeling like an idiot clomping around in heels and garters and believes him when he says she looks good).

She's following his lead with the vodka, too. Val and Dasha are there, too, in a pub far away from the paparazzi-covered DWTS after-party, but Hope matches drinks with Maks. He says he lost count, but she hasn't - and she doesn't think he really has, either.

"I'm not cut out for show business," she announces, and punches Maks just below his shoulder. "This is your fault. If you hadn't requested me..."

He smirks, tosses back a shot. She can see him mentally adding a notch to his tally.

She's still ahead.

"It's the show," Maks says. He leans back, pulling his hands off the table. One of them comes to rest on her thigh, and given how often he touches her, given how she was wearing something much thinner than jeans in their dance last night, it feels surprisingly intimate that he doesn't pull it away.

It's the alcohol - or 'the show,' as he says.

Or it could be that he's attractive, that she's attracted to him - but maybe that's the show too. She's never had a man ask her to give him a lap dance on television before.

He finishes, "You can't let those fuckers get to you."

Val cuts in: "It took him years to learn that."

"Or to learn to say it with a straight face." Dasha still has her hair and makeup from her last dance; Hope scrubbed hers off before going out in public.

Hope puts her hand over Maks's where it's still resting on her leg. "We'll get those fuckers next week."

His fingers curl into the fabric of her jeans as he laughs, and heat - vodka, leftover anxiety, something - pools in her stomach, and she suddenly thinks how grateful she is that she's not leaving this crazy show just yet. "You see?" Maks says to his brother. "That's why I love her."

Hope shrugs, well, you know.

"And she's sexy," Dasha says.

Maks nods.

Hope rolls her eyes, but it's getting a little easier to hear.
Hil: USWNT | Hope Solo | Keeperhercircumstance on October 5th, 2011 06:04 pm (UTC)
Re: p.s. *writes fic*
Between this and the Body Issue hitting social media everywhere I am just dead.
Little Red: make pr0n not warmylittleredgirl on October 5th, 2011 05:25 am (UTC)
And HOLY CRAP, that JR and Karina video. That is a treasure trove of awesomeness. I mean, because I am interested in anything connected to the Maks/Karina epic relationship fallout (in case you are not up to speed on this - they were engaged, and had some unbelievably sexy dances together, and then she broke it off because they presumably drove each other nuts by being basically the same hardheaded person, and Maks basically can't even look at her ever since). So Hope and Maks snuggle in the background of J.R. crushing on Karina, and then Maks totally horns in on Karina's personal space, and then Karina gets snippy about it, and just basically THANK YOU FOR THIS LINK.

(Moment of self-awareness: I'm basically this nuts all the time, but I only realize how insane it sounds when I'm talking to someone I don't really know.)

I totally can't decide if it's bromance or romance for Maks and Hope. Like, it could be awesome and sexy and fabulous, or they could just be the broiest of bros forever. But I might write porn either way, because.
Hil: IT Crowd | Moss/Royhercircumstance on October 5th, 2011 06:17 am (UTC)
Ok, so that's why everyone was talking about Maks in the comments. Hope probably doesn't even know what is going on. He's the one that glomped her when in range of Karina. Interesting. That dance was something else. Hope!Hate makes a little more sense as there are probably not only former partner shippers but Karina shippers out there.

I think nuts is the only way to watch DWTS. Not sure if I can go the long haul, but I am feeling a lot better now that I've brain bleached away any memory of Unhappy!Hope and instead focused on Carson's skin care tips. See, I've learned something from a DWTS vet.
Little Red: dwts - hines/kymmylittleredgirl on October 5th, 2011 07:38 am (UTC)
I don't know if anyone seriously ships Karina/Maks anymore besides me and kayjay86, because people didn't really ship it at the time. Most DWTS fans were like "MAKS IS TOO GOOD FOR HER!" because Karina had hooked up with Mario Lopez before and... just... DWTS fans are really, really, stupidly protective of the male pros. They get really rageface when anyone gets close to them, unless it's very obviously platonic, and sometimes even then. IT'S WEIRD. But yeah, there are lots of former-partner shippers for Maks.

And I really love Karina. She's a right bitch sometimes, but she's probably the best dancer technically on the show, and she chews up the floor in pro latin dances. And Maks was a major pain in the ass himself back then, so... anyway.
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Little Red: trek - kirk skillz - distress_callmylittleredgirl on October 5th, 2011 04:51 pm (UTC)
I HAVE ARRIVED! The future is hilarious. I love that I can now starf*ck minor celebrities from the comfort of my couch.

Now I need to spend my week making even more email addresses to keep him in the competition.