Little Red (mylittleredgirl) wrote,
Little Red
mylittleredgirl

  • Mood:

oh. yeah. baby.

Today was my fifth day in a row of work.

I did it. I'm here! (And not "here" as in "wheee, I am alive at the end of the week!" but "I am here at the end of this week, after all this time!")

There's so much more -- such amazing conversations, amazing decisions, new paths, new thoughts, but for now before bed I just want this milestone noted for the record.

I said: "But I have never completed anything."

My mother: "You made yourself better."

My dad listed off everything I have done, and done so methodically, and in spite of the rough patches, and I give myself back some of the credit for tenacity that I have been unfairly denying myself. This counts.

(After this, I can do Brown. I can get and handle a better job. I can finish another novel. I can keep myself healthy. I can take responsibility for my own life.)

And he said: "You healed yourself. By yourself. Completely."

And I thought, I'm better. This is just something I have to deal with, perhaps forever. But I'm dealing with it, and well.

I'm ready.
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