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15 June 2005 @ 11:34 pm
oh. yeah. baby.  
Today was my fifth day in a row of work.

I did it. I'm here! (And not "here" as in "wheee, I am alive at the end of the week!" but "I am here at the end of this week, after all this time!")

There's so much more -- such amazing conversations, amazing decisions, new paths, new thoughts, but for now before bed I just want this milestone noted for the record.

I said: "But I have never completed anything."

My mother: "You made yourself better."

My dad listed off everything I have done, and done so methodically, and in spite of the rough patches, and I give myself back some of the credit for tenacity that I have been unfairly denying myself. This counts.

(After this, I can do Brown. I can get and handle a better job. I can finish another novel. I can keep myself healthy. I can take responsibility for my own life.)

And he said: "You healed yourself. By yourself. Completely."

And I thought, I'm better. This is just something I have to deal with, perhaps forever. But I'm dealing with it, and well.

I'm ready.
feel: determineddetermined
Rose Wilde-Irish: Zelenka Understated by liminallizrosewildeirish on June 16th, 2005 04:12 am (UTC)
YAY! *loves, madly*

And you had time to make me feel good today, too. :) *adds to your list*
A.j.: hugsaj on June 16th, 2005 04:13 am (UTC)
See? You did do this. And I know I'm hella proud. I can't imagine how amazed your parents are by you. Because if I ever had a kid who was so DETERMINED, I would be over the moon.

You are AWESOME, girl. And I love you madly for it. (And because even when you're whining and tired and depressed and feel like hiding forever... you are STILL REALLY CUTE OMG.)
MegTDJ: Teryl Blank - purple_shoesmeg_tdj on June 16th, 2005 04:15 am (UTC)
Yay!! *cheers you on* :D
if i could, i'd punch you into paralysis!grenadine on June 16th, 2005 04:17 am (UTC)
*gets out the pompoms* Rock on, girl. :)
Melyanna: Elizabeth (linguist)melyanna on June 16th, 2005 04:20 am (UTC)
Yay!! *loves* I should write you fic. :)
tarkheena lizzeeen: [SINFUL GIRLFRIEND LOVE]liminalliz on June 16th, 2005 04:22 am (UTC)
OH WOW! OH GIRLFRIEND! :) *loves loves loves lots and lots* YAY! You are my HEROINE! :) *bounces...sinfully!!*
I'm not very interesting: Weir: Standing to attentionastropoet on June 16th, 2005 09:35 am (UTC)
How do you bounce sinfully? Sounds like fun!
lavidaessueno on June 16th, 2005 04:24 am (UTC)
Yay! *cheers for you*
Pooh: Office - Tim (by meegzi31)mspooh on June 16th, 2005 04:27 am (UTC)
I'm absolutely giddy for you. You rule.
just another Pipsqueak in the crowd: drrsnarky_freak on June 16th, 2005 05:36 am (UTC)
i'm *SO GLAD* things are lookin' up, up, up for you... and here's a pic to demonstrate just how up, up, up things are lookin':


elly: Tyrolelly427 on June 16th, 2005 05:39 am (UTC)
Yay! Yay yay yay! This is awesome. *gleees for you*
w0lfstar: bsg helo euphoia by shadowserenityw0lfstar on June 16th, 2005 06:42 am (UTC)

Does this mean you have tomorrow off now? (*pokes you* so I can actually talk to you? *loves*)
I'm not very interesting: Shebaastropoet on June 16th, 2005 09:34 am (UTC)
Aw congratulations sweetie! And Yes I do think you are very determined.

*hugs and cuddles*
Just a springing future interestkatcorvi on June 16th, 2005 11:05 am (UTC)
Hurrah for Little Red!! That's wonderful, and I'm thrilled for you.
One Whose Honesty is Stronger Than Her Fear: mmmmamilyn on June 16th, 2005 11:50 am (UTC)

That is SO GREAT!

I'm so very very proud of you!!!!

annaK: AT- Dreamannakarrennina on June 16th, 2005 12:39 pm (UTC)
Yey! I'm so happy for you. You rock.:)
pellucid: Elizabeth_hero (by shipperchick)pellucid on June 16th, 2005 02:01 pm (UTC)
Wheeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!! So excited for you, proud of you, inspired by you!!!! Especially the latter--you make me want to go out and conquer the world, too! You rock, m'dear! *hugs*
Nikenikej on June 16th, 2005 03:27 pm (UTC)
*huggles you madly* You Rock. SO much. :D
espirk: D/R Love; katrin_follyespirk on June 16th, 2005 05:32 pm (UTC)
*hugs* and *looooove* I am *soooooooo* happy for you!
qwirky on June 16th, 2005 09:58 pm (UTC)
רותם שחר (Ro): danceroothekittykat on June 16th, 2005 11:23 pm (UTC)
Angelasjshipper on June 17th, 2005 01:48 am (UTC)
whoo-hoo! Lurves your parents for being so affirmative! Go you!!
sekilarasekilara on June 17th, 2005 02:01 am (UTC)
Congratulations, Sachi. You've fought this for so long, but at the end of the day you did it. That doesn't mean that you'll never have to struggle again, but it means that you'll win.

Remember this feeling, and keep it for when you need it.
Bitch-extraordinaire!: Anyasakuracorr on June 17th, 2005 03:41 am (UTC)
Yay! *hugs* You need to stay positive, because you seem to like to forget how great and wonderful you can be and how that filters through to the things you do and... yeah. *much love for Little Red*