I did it. I'm here! (And not "here" as in "wheee, I am alive at the end of the week!" but "I am here at the end of this week, after all this time!")
There's so much more -- such amazing conversations, amazing decisions, new paths, new thoughts, but for now before bed I just want this milestone noted for the record.
I said: "But I have never completed anything."
My mother: "You made yourself better."
My dad listed off everything I have done, and done so methodically, and in spite of the rough patches, and I give myself back some of the credit for tenacity that I have been unfairly denying myself. This counts.
(After this, I can do Brown. I can get and handle a better job. I can finish another novel. I can keep myself healthy. I can take responsibility for my own life.)
And he said: "You healed yourself. By yourself. Completely."
And I thought, I'm better. This is just something I have to deal with, perhaps forever. But I'm dealing with it, and well.