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25 June 2005 @ 03:27 pm
hard drive archaology, part 1: Sheridan/Weir fic  
Short Babylon 5/Atlantis crossover. Discovered on my hard drive. Possibly to be blamed on lyssie. If you can explain it, you win a prize.

title: "discontinuity"
rating: PG-13
category: crossover. vignette. character death. angst.
spoilers: set in an AU Babylon 5 season 5
pairing: er. Sheridan/Weir, of respective B5 and Atlantis fame, with sides of Sheridan/Delenn and Sheppard/Weir.


When they meet, they are both desperate in different ways.

Her because her world is gone, her whole universe, though they don't talk about that.

He's desperate because his universe is intact, but he has lost his place in it.

They start having sex almost immediately, less than four days after they meet and recognize something hungry in each other. It is a substitute for conversation.

They don't call each other by name. She is not the first Elizabeth he's had -- Weir has met the other, in fact, has spent days with Captain Lochley's crew being debriefed and examined. He is not her only John. Formal titles -- Doctor, Mr. President -- were dropped only because he is no longer the President and because her doctorate was given by a school that hasn't existed for a hundred and fifty years. He uses her last name sometimes, but he's seen the way she stumbles over "Sheridan," like it, too, reminds her of something.

He doesn't ask, because he's afraid she'll tell him, and he thinks there are so few words for something as heavy as what she has lost that she will break apart trying to find them. And he doesn't want that. Elizabeth Weir is flimsy and surreal to him, a strangely ordinary woman from a distant past that looks very different from the one he studied in school, but he has nothing stronger to hold on to.

There are words for what happened to him, but he has said them all, and long before Delenn even died. He has been a widower before. It is no easier the second time.

It's only at night, when they're locked in the exhausted physical space between too much sex and elusive sleep, that they say anything at all.

"She was supposed to outlive me," he whispers into his pillow, matter-of-fact. At one time, his twenty-year stay of execution seemed so short, was insufficient time to properly love his new wife. Now he doubts the end will ever come.

Weir touches his bare shoulder in a gesture of sympathy. Her skin is warm, real, whole, but he senses nothing behind it but habit, and Sheridan really believes that they're too broken, both of them, to ever make a connection again.
 
 
feel: confusedconfused
hear: conjure one
 
 
 
Jessij_guda on June 25th, 2005 07:40 pm (UTC)
I'm dead now. And crying. Dead and crying.

There are no words for how much ow this is.
Little Red: b5 - all alone in the night - thatfangirmylittleredgirl on June 25th, 2005 07:47 pm (UTC)
:( Sorry! And, yeah. Ow. I really don't remember why I did this to them, but I'm sorry for it.
A.j.: sadaj on June 25th, 2005 08:17 pm (UTC)
*sniffle*
YOU'RE MEAN!

But in a good way, I guess.

*sniffle*

Dammit. ::hugs Liz and otherJohn::
Little Red: b5 - lyta vorlons - ruugermylittleredgirl on June 30th, 2005 03:35 pm (UTC)
Re: *sniffle*
*hugs you back* My mean-ness may have been why I didn't post it in the first place, I forget. *hugs them more* I, er... will go watch B5 now and recognize that everything is all right everything is STILL ANGSTY AND BAD, but in a different way.

LOVE!
I'm not very interestingastropoet on June 25th, 2005 08:19 pm (UTC)
so sad

*cries*
Little Red: b5 - all alone in the night - thatfangirmylittleredgirl on June 30th, 2005 03:36 pm (UTC)
Sorry! *loves you*
Beth: javertbethos on June 25th, 2005 08:22 pm (UTC)
Awww! Poor woobies!
Little Red: b5 - all alone in the night - thatfangirmylittleredgirl on June 30th, 2005 03:36 pm (UTC)
I feel horribly guilty now. Er. I may have to atone with fluff, perhaps.
Bethbethos on June 30th, 2005 04:15 pm (UTC)
It were sad in a very pretty way at least!
entertaining in a disturbing way: kara by woodfacelyssie on June 25th, 2005 09:09 pm (UTC)
*sniffles*

(you posted this, I think, or mentioned what it was about, or something.)

Is very sad and poignant.
Little Red: b5 - all alone in the night - thatfangirmylittleredgirl on June 30th, 2005 03:37 pm (UTC)
I may have just mentioned it, for it has teh vague spoilerz for a few years past where you are. *shrugs*

*hugs you*
Tammy - never give up, never surrender: Msc - Peace - besydbesyd on June 25th, 2005 09:17 pm (UTC)
Yow. Took me a minute to wrap my head around the idea, but once he spoke, I had it. (Of course, being the BB fan that I am, I saw it all in his universe ... even sadder for Elizabeth, really. She's so lost.) Sad and wicked good. I like what you did with this.
Little Red: b5 - all alone in the night - thatfangirmylittleredgirl on June 30th, 2005 03:38 pm (UTC)
It makes sense that you saw it in his universe, because that's totally how it's laid out. But yeah, much ickier for Elizabeth. Also... much more complicated to figure out what actually happened, so I just let that one go. ;) Sometimes things like this can become big long stories... but I don't think I have the guts for that!

*loves*

Thank you!!
(Deleted comment)
Little Red: b5 - all alone in the night - thatfangirmylittleredgirl on June 30th, 2005 03:38 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I feel bad whenever I do cruel things to characters. Hrm. *writes fluff instead of seeking psychological help*
Karen T: zoloft ball!  SOOO cute!poohmusings on June 28th, 2005 12:03 am (UTC)
I would totally fb this fic, except I don't watch Atlantis or Babylon, so I have no idea who these people are. :( But I hear it's your birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! *confetti toss* *tiggertackleandhugs*
Little Red: b5 - all alone in the night - thatfangirmylittleredgirl on June 30th, 2005 03:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you!!! *hugs* And yes. I suppose the above ficlet can be summed up as: "There was science fiction, and then there was angst." :)
Miriel: Eowyn - A Young Girl's Dreammardahin on May 11th, 2006 05:28 am (UTC)
*Grinds fists into eyes and looks again* Still there. Damn.

When I first read through this I didn't catch the "AU" and so had a rather surreal time of it. Then it was just painful the second time. But I am a B5-fan through and through, so I couldn't resist.

unexpectedly, I think that I feel worse for her than I do for him.

*Curls up into a ball and realizes she shouldn't read death!fic before bed*