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28 July 2005 @ 09:35 pm
ficspam, part three (I swear, I'm done now. Probably.)  
Title: "Ground Zero"
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: General season 2 spoilers.
Summary: The third time they detonated a nuclear bomb over Atlantis, it occurred to John Sheppard that perhaps they shouldn't be quite so casual about this.
Author's Note: Written in chat for mspooh, who should totally be blamed for both the writing and the posting.


The third time they detonated a nuclear bomb over Atlantis, it occurred to John Sheppard that perhaps they shouldn't be quite so casual about this.

"Should we be worried about... the side effects of all this nuking?"

McKay raised an eyebrow. "What, now you're having second thoughts?"

Elizabeth shrugged. "It is a legitimate question. We do seem to do this quite a bit."

John pointed in her direction, feeling a childish sense of joy at having his ideas validated in front of McKay. Now that Ford was gone, he often felt like the odd man out in these post-mission briefings.

"I'm not saying that getting destroyed by flesh-eating insects would've been any better," he adds. "I'm just worried for the limb count of our future children."

Elizabeth's gaze snapped over to look at him as quickly as if she'd heard a gunshot.

He faltered. "I didn't mean... our children specifically... more..."

She took pity on him. "We know what you meant, Colonel. Rodney?"

McKay was busy looking between them, appearing both horrified and disgusted.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Rodney?"

The scientist actually shook himself. "Relax, both of you. The city was well outside the threshold of probable danger. The Sheppard genes can still live on."

John spoke a little too quickly, doing his best to look as far away from her as possible. Was it warm in here? "And they won't glow in the dark?"

"Your genes?"

"My children. Our children. All our children! You know what? Just forget I said anything." He disguised his sulk in a long drag of coffee.

Elizabeth snickered. He glared at her.

"So," she coughed, barely disguising her laughter. "Now that the pressing issue of Colonel Sheppard's ability to pass on the family name has been resolved, what else is on the agenda?"

McKay groaned. "Well... before we move on, we may as well have a random sampling of the crew tested to make sure there are no unexpected side effects from the radiation. Which, I assure you again, is perfectly harmless at that distance." The last was said with a sharp look in Sheppard's direction.

"You did say that," John reminded him, aiming for 'threatening' but still ending up sounding a bit worried.

Elizabeth penned a note into her PDA with her stylus, and then smiled brightly at John. "Would you care to volunteer for the random testing, Colonel? It would put the question to rest once and for all."

"Yes, I'm sure we'll all sleep better knowing that," McKay grumbled. "Can we move on now?"

Elizabeth schooled her features into what passed for serious. She was always a little giddy in the days following a harrowingly close brush with death. Normally, it was one of the things John liked about her -- he sought her out after a disaster not only to make sure she was okay, but because her post-disaster euphoria was contagious and reassuring. Like nothing else, it drove home that they really had survived.

Normally, anyway. Considering he seemed to be her favorite target for mockery this time around, he'd just as soon stay out of firing range.

To that end, John attempted to escape from the briefing the moment it was concluded, trusting that Rodney's usual attempt to get the last word would provide the perfect cover.

"John?"

No such luck.

He eyed her over, attempting to ascertain if she'd called him back for a real reason or purely for entertainment. "Elizabeth?"

"Do you want to take care of organizing this testing? Carson will do the actual legwork, of course, but we'll need someone to enlist volunteers."

She had a point. As helpful as everyone on Atlantis was -- and he said that sarcastically only when he was thinking about the scientists -- people probably wouldn't be champing at the bit to find out that their DNA had been irradiated and their offspring had a good chance of being born with extra heads.

"Sure." He hesitated before asking her -- he'd been teased quite enough for one afternoon -- but she had just given him this assignment. "Are you going to do it?"

She smirked, casting a pointed glance around the briefing room. "I'm not exactly planning to have children anytime soon."

There was no reason for that to bother him, was there? No. Definitely not. And... well... none of them were really set up for child-rearing out here in the Pegasus Galaxy. Except... now he really wanted to know if she ever wanted children, and that was pretty far down on the list of appropriate questions to ask one's boss.

Even if it was only polite interest.

"There are other reasons to be concerned about nuclear explosions going off in your backyard, Elizabeth."

She winced. "Fine. Tell me when to show up, and I'll be there."

Her face had taken on an air of genuine worry. That didn't suit her well in her post-disaster bliss period, and made him feel a bit uneasy.

Fortunately, he was well-practiced in dealing with a worried Elizabeth.

"You know..." John practically drawled, leaning over the briefing table until his proximity forced her to look up at him. "There are other ways of testing to make sure everything's in... working order."

He waggled his eyebrows dramatically to make sure she'd know he was joking. Mostly.

She snorted out a laugh, and he couldn't help a proud smile. No one else could make her laugh like that.

"Maybe later," she said. Even as she rolled her eyes, she looked dangerously compelling.

So, maybe he wasn't totally immune to the post-disaster afterglow. Theirs was actually a dangerous combination -- too much energy in too confined a space had led to a serious makeout session in the jumper bay after the last time they'd narrowly escaped annihilation. There had been alcohol involved -- a celebratory bash of not-dead-ness -- but not nearly enough to seriously impair either of them.

They ignored that fact. They were good at ignoring. He liked that about her, too, most of the time -- it allowed him to be strangely comfortable around her even when half his brain was screaming to drag her into the nearest supply closet.

There would, of course, be problems inherent in supply closets above and beyond being found out by the rest of the team. For one thing, he'd never again be able to go in search of a combat vest again in quite the same frame of mind. It had taken three weeks before he could go back in the jumper bay without getting a stupid look on his face.

A bed. Yes, a bed would be nice. They had big beds in Atlantis, too.

"John?"

And that's when he realized he'd been standing there for at least thirty seconds, totally silent, running down a list of places where he'd really like to have sex with her.

From the look on her face, she knew it, too.

"I... uh, you know? I think I'll go talk to Beckett. See if I can't get the ball rolling on this whole... yeah."

She cleared her throat. "Good, good."

"Yes. Good."

He just about thought the awkwardness was completely gone -- helped along by the fact that he was almost out of the room -- when she shot him one of her more dangerous smirks. "And John?"

He was almost afraid to encourage her. Not afraid enough, though, because she was never this evil with anyone else, and that had a tendency to make his day. "Yes?"

"I'd be interested to know the results."

It took him a few steps outside the briefing room before he realized exactly what she had said.

He grinned the whole way to the infirmary.

*END*
 
 
 
icarusicarus_abides on July 29th, 2005 01:59 am (UTC)
Hee! Dude, you should totally have ficgasms more often.

Loved the banter between McKay and Shep. And, of course, John being his usual cocky sexay self. *grins stupidly... but not at a Jumper Bay memory, dammit*
Little Red: sga - lizzie temptress - goldie_galmylittleredgirl on August 27th, 2005 09:04 pm (UTC)
Ahahahaa. "Ficgasm" is my new favorite word.

*grins stupidly... but not at a Jumper Bay memory, dammit*

I know. I'm sure Elizabeth had a few distracting fantasies herself there for a while. ;) Man, after those two make out, it will take superhuman willpower to keep them from jumping each other ALL THE TIME.
tarkheena lizzeeenliminalliz on July 29th, 2005 02:04 am (UTC)
SPARKAAAAY!!!! :) I *heart* my sljg!!! And Sheppard's glowy heroic sperm!!
Little Red: sga - love of a hero - lizmylittleredgirl on August 27th, 2005 09:04 pm (UTC)
Hero!sperm TOTALLY have special powerz and can glow in the dark!
miera_c: always lookingmiera_c on July 29th, 2005 02:04 am (UTC)
ok that was fabulous. Snarking and flirting and "WHEEEE WE'RE NOT DEAD" euphoria. Did I mention the flirting? ;)
Little Red: sga - lizzie temptress - goldie_galmylittleredgirl on August 27th, 2005 09:04 pm (UTC)
They are so cute when they flirt! Especially when they're snarky and Elizabeth is a tiny bit evil. :)
(Deleted comment)
tangerrine on July 29th, 2005 02:09 am (UTC)
I am sure John and Elizabeth will have beautiful, fully-limbed, non-glow-in-the-dark children. Yes.

I, on the other hand, think it might be kind of cool to glow in the dark, but that's just me.

Eeee! This was really funny. :D And now I'm spoiled-- two S/W fics from you in one day! :P
Little Red: sga - lizzie temptress - goldie_galmylittleredgirl on August 27th, 2005 09:06 pm (UTC)
They will indeed have very pretty children. With very pretty green eyes. And an evil streak a mile wide. :) *is once again tempted to baby!fic... dammit!*
Jaina: sg1 - omg pouty!Jackbrightcupenny on July 29th, 2005 02:09 am (UTC)
ACK DON'T BE DONE I NEED FIC!

*puppy-dog eyes*
Pooh: SGA - S/W emotion hug (by riekchen)mspooh on July 29th, 2005 02:12 am (UTC)
*evil cackle* This fic is even better the second time around.

Aww, John's got baby pangs! So cute. He and Lizzie can have cute, glow-in-the-dark quadruplets or something. Nukes can only make her0spermz even more powerful!

Not afraid enough, though, because she was never this evil with anyone else, and that had a tendency to make his day.

Evil, playful Elizabeth teasing Sheppard makes my day. *demands to see more of that on the show*
Little Red: cupid - claire/alex too cool - meegzi31mylittleredgirl on August 27th, 2005 09:07 pm (UTC)
*month late, again, omg*

Aww, John's got baby pangs!

Such a new kink! OMG. John + children = fangirls ded of squeee. Fortunately, now we can get some of this kink out of the way with the goobers and leave Shep and Lizzie to, like, run the city and stuff. :)

I am quite afraid of the nuclear-powered her0spermz, really!
georgie: siege3huggeorgierae on July 29th, 2005 02:13 am (UTC)
Silly Shep!

*pets him & watches as hand turns luminous green*

huh.

Still, v.cute fic!!
qwirky on July 29th, 2005 02:16 am (UTC)
He faltered. "I didn't mean... our children specifically... more..."

She took pity on him. "We know what you meant, Colonel. Rodney?"

McKay was busy looking between them, appearing both horrified and disgusted.


*amused*

*loves you and fic and cuteness and babies and sex and making out in jumpers*
Rose Wilde-Irishrosewildeirish on July 29th, 2005 02:31 am (UTC)
And that's when he realized he'd been standing there for at least thirty seconds, totally silent, running down a list of places where he'd really like to have sex with her.

From the look on her face, she knew it, too.


HEEEEE! *loves*
Your *Mom*'s A Cylon!: Closer (shewaselectric)astrum_presul on July 29th, 2005 02:32 am (UTC)
Eeee! I want to have John's glow in the dark babies! hehe

And Lizzie does too, she'll admit it soon enough. :)

Wonderful Sparky to help cure my withdrawal! :)
Little Red: sga - lizzie temptress - goldie_galmylittleredgirl on August 27th, 2005 09:08 pm (UTC)
Lizzie so totally wants to have his chernobyl babies. :)

Sparky!withdrawal is a bad bad thing. *shudders*
A.j.: amusedaj on July 29th, 2005 02:37 am (UTC)
*falls over laughing*
ACK! I miss you! You know last year this time, we would have chatted that possibility into the floor. Hey, didn't we discuss that in chat? *brain is pudding*

Anyway. HAHAHAHAAH! IRRADIATED CHILDREN. Liz and John would love any glow in the dark kids. It'd actually be kinda useful if they lost power.

"Send Junior to the shuttle bay! They need light!"
"That's tasteless."
"But funny."
"Shut up."

*flails* FOOOOOOOOOORD. OMG.
georgie: siege3huggeorgierae on July 29th, 2005 02:52 am (UTC)
Re: *falls over laughing*
"Send Junior to the shuttle bay! They need light!"
"That's tasteless."
"But funny."
"Shut up."


*giggles muchly*
I joined the Rebel Alliance ironically: elizabeth/john chemistrymorwen_peredhil on July 29th, 2005 02:50 am (UTC)
Yay for euphoric jumper-bay makeout sessions and lists of place for the sexing!
Blue: Sheppard/Weir - OTP Brightbluebanrigh on July 29th, 2005 03:17 am (UTC)
I think the opening line is fantastic. I can just imagining him just sitting there and then this random thought just jumps into his head. :)

The rest of the fic is also very cute. Irridated children. Lol. And the after-disaster high, too cute and yah know, totally right.
Little Red: sga - shep sin - goldie_galmylittleredgirl on August 27th, 2005 09:10 pm (UTC)
Bwahahaha. That random thought popped into my head while watching Siege III, and I was like "isn't someone going to worry about this? Eventually?" And then McKay totally did in the next episode, and I felt all vindicated.

... I should probably reply to comments before a whole month has passed so you're not going "... huh?", shouldn't I? Yes. I will get on that. :)
thekatebeyond on July 29th, 2005 03:28 am (UTC)
I knew from the first sentence that this was going to be brilliant and witty and clever. I was not disappointed. This is the most enjoyable thing I've read in ages.
Little Red: sga - sw not subtle - thefakeheadlinemylittleredgirl on August 27th, 2005 09:10 pm (UTC)
YAY!! *belated thanks*