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28 September 2005 @ 03:51 pm
general FYI post  
In my userinfo, I reserved the right to disappear periodically. I'm kind of half-disappeared. I skimmed through a lot of my f-list just now out of omgguilt and went through some of my old open tabs last night -- why was everyone freaking out about some defriending scandal or other that I never actually found? -- but haven't yet gotten to my emails (I know there are some Very Important Ones, so sorry about that).

If I said I would beta something for you, I still will -- send away. If you want me for something specific, ask, and I'll reply if I'm up to it. swficathon and zeropointsnark things will be posted and/or done soon.

I'm just a little out of touch. Don't take it personally, please. I'll be around when I'm around, and will keep on top of things if I can.

(I always feel silly making these posts, because I never know if I'll get a huge rush of energy and brainsanity in the next five minutes and then be as present as I ever was. So consider this an apology for being less available recently, and a possible warning that I'll continue to be so in the near future.)

HOWEVER, because there is ALWAYS gleee, I have to joyously announce that I just got MAIL! And nenya_kanadka sent me a drawing of me as THE REDHEADED GODDESS OF LANGUAGE AND KINK. This is the best thing ever. I want that on business cards.
feel: apatheticapathetic
hear: "too late" - fisher
Lytalytarules on September 28th, 2005 08:44 pm (UTC)
What I was wondering was if we were the Great Defriending Scandal by having Defriending Amnesty Posts? I meant it to be a non-scandal...
Little Red: b5 - lyta touched - ruugermylittleredgirl on September 28th, 2005 08:48 pm (UTC)
I wondered that too! But then, I always try to figure out how things are my fault. (My mother raised me this way. Apparently it makes one a Good Christian or something.) LJ drama? My fault! Hurricanes? I drive a car on fossil fuels! Nuclear armarment in North Korea? ... we're still working out the logistics on this one, actually, but if we work hard enough on it, I'm sure there's enough blame for everyone. ;)

Or, perhaps it's just that that quiz was going around, and people decided to throw some drama around to make the quiz-taking more interesting?
Lisa Yaegerlisayaeger on September 28th, 2005 10:29 pm (UTC)
I'm with lytarules- I wanted to give people an opportunity to defriend me because it's obvious some weren't reading my journal or were reading and didn't care and so why bother keeping up the pretense? Everyone has different expectations about lj and what it means and what a "friend" is and I've decided to align my expectations with my flist and give others a chance to do the same without hard feelings. To some people, it's all meaningless, and good for them, and for some of us it goes a bit deeper than that.
Little Red: b5 - corps is mother - thatfangirlmylittleredgirl on September 29th, 2005 03:04 am (UTC)
*nods* I agree with you. I wish it could be fun and meaningless for me, some days. :) But it's too much fun to social-convene in virtual space, yay!

I guess... yes. The defriending amnesty posts are to avoid hurt feelings, and because we really don't know what value others place on our posts, but maybe we really do have to take a deep breath and cut cords ourselves if we feel like there's a problem. :( I really wish there were some easy way of watching without friending or something. I feel like I'm being deceptive if I use filters... but some days I AM really sick and bored and want to read the journals of everyone who has ever friended me and more, and other days I really just want to keep up with those who are close to me.
Lisa Yaegerlisayaeger on September 29th, 2005 10:15 am (UTC)
And you have every right to do that and should!!! And those who know you will understand and those who don't can like it or lump it. I'm just choosing to lump a few ;-) But never you!
Julie, betrayer of the literary traditionsplash_the_cat on September 28th, 2005 08:50 pm (UTC)
Do not feel silly, and repeat to yourself: Livejournal is not an obligation, moral, social, or otherwise.

Little Red: trek - pc always there - jr_moonmylittleredgirl on September 28th, 2005 08:54 pm (UTC)
But people get all flaily and mad and angsty if I don't pay attention to them, omg!

You are WISE. *resists urge to feel very silly* ;) Silly or not, though, I feel better having said it. If only it were possible to make a general post like that about the rest of life. (I wonder what would happen if I made a sign and hung it on my door? Changed my voicemail? *amused at concept*)

LJ might, however, be a chemical addiction. I'm looking into that.
Julie, betrayer of the literary tradition: cuddlysplash_the_cat on September 28th, 2005 09:07 pm (UTC)
But people get all flaily and mad and angsty if I don't pay attention to them, omg!

People also need to get over themselves

Ahem. I might be a tad misanthropic of late. I just get irritated by the baggage that comes with friending someone. Because really, 85% of the people on my flist are in no way my friends, and that is due to nothing more than the superficial nature of lj interaction, time, and convergance of interests. When I friend someone, it's generally because I find what they say interesting, or we have a common interest, but I feel no implicit obligation to interact with them as a friend just because I click a little box onscreen. And that doesn't carry some implicit social stigma or judgment against them on my part. *mutters* Stupid lj language connotations.

But yeah, I do know what you mean, and if it made you feel better to say it, it's not silly. I mean, I posted a blanket apology because I got all flaily when I got behind on answering comments.
Working for the Mandroid: Chakaholicmoonshayde on September 28th, 2005 09:58 pm (UTC)
LJ seems to be just one bitch session, doesn't it?

And how many of have issued it to vent?

*raises hand*
Little Red: fridge magnets pr0n - josephidesmylittleredgirl on September 29th, 2005 03:18 am (UTC)
Honestly, I'd expect LJ to be more bitchy than it is, but perhaps that's because I make a point of focusing on the least bitchy posts on the list for their uplifting and entertaining qualities, yay. Although on the whole, I would certainly support MORE PR0N LESS WHINING. ;)

I have definitely been providing more whining than pr0n lately, though!! Perhaps I need to set up some kind of system where I owe a ratio of fic relative to the lines of teh-angst? I've been considering this.

One of my sisters couldn't handle the overwhelming bitch session-ness of LJ, though, and switched over to myspace. Which suits her, I suppose, although it BLINDS ME with all the scary chaotic images and the total overabundance of memes!
Working for the Mandroid: POWmoonshayde on September 29th, 2005 11:21 am (UTC)
I guess there is a line to be drawn. Journals are for posting whatever you want. In our society, we tend to complain about the hard things in life and never talk about the good. I am not saying everyone does this, but think:

"Hey, how was your day?

Ugh, don't get me started. I was nearly sideswiped by an SUV!"

We're raised that drama is entertaining, so we tend to go straight to the stuff that is "bad" in our lives, whether it is truly bad or not. We just need to larnr to talk more about the good stuff too. Because while people in the everyday, including ourselves, know all the good stuff that happens, people that read our journals and whatnot don't and then they assume that life is just one big complaint.

That being sad, there are some people that take this too far and complain all the time. To the point where you sit there and roll your ideas. I think that is when you've reached the point of too much.

I had a point, I swear...
Working for the Mandroid: Sleepmoonshayde on September 29th, 2005 11:23 am (UTC)
roll your ideas? I meant to say eyes. And I don't know why "learn" looks like "larnr"

I must be speaking another language. Or, if you can't understand me, ask Meg. She is fluent in Kerri.
Little Red: fridge magnets pr0n - josephidesmylittleredgirl on September 29th, 2005 03:13 am (UTC)
There's definitely a sliding scale of closeness on LJ.

However, because I'm geographically cut off from my real social circle, I have become much closer to many people online, which makes me more susceptible to all the LJ DRAMA with all its unique social quirks. In real life, there's no way to know if someone has taken you out of their rolodex. ;) So yes, a lot of me wants to scream "IT IS THE INTERNET, FOR GOD'S SAKE," but, with this post as evidence, I buy into it more than I should! And the sliding scale of acquaintances to closetrustedfriends reflects my ideal real-world social circle pretty well, I guess. I'm not making a lot of sense. Brain is paste! *clings to friends amid the lj-friends*

You're so cute when you're misanthropic. *loves*

And omg! My best friend from college is applying to vet school at U of M! I was all "I AM SO MOVING WITH YOU TO ANN ARBOR, OMG." As it is lovely! If I move there, I am demanding to see your knitting stash that I missed out on the last time I came through. ;)
Pooh: *less than three* (by teh_indy)mspooh on September 28th, 2005 09:13 pm (UTC)
Yay for mail glee! And for disappearing tricks, for mental breaks away from that damn addictive internet is of the good. Or, er, so I've been told. Heh.
Phrenitis: escape (jr_moon)phrenitis on September 28th, 2005 10:31 pm (UTC)
Damn you for wanting sane self time! The nerve! The dare! And here I expected you to be my obligated reply-to-every-post-all-the-time-or-else friend. *huffs, defriends*

fyca: DRR giddy love katrin_follyfyca on September 29th, 2005 12:45 am (UTC)
I bet everyone on my flist wishes they could defriend me. Yesterday's post was about how beautiful the sunset was, and tonight's might be on the zucchini I bought at the grocery store today (it really was a gorgeous crop!) Yeah...you're not missing much over on my end.

I, however, could never defriend you...never know when you will pop up and say the wittiest, cleverest, most entertaining thing the world has ever known. And then there is that dying hope in my breast that you will have a dripper spell and write me beautiful drippy things and then I can just float on a cloud of Little Red drippiness for a few happy days.

PS - you should post that drawing of you...I'd love to see it.
Bitch-extraordinaire!: Kill Billsakuracorr on September 29th, 2005 01:39 am (UTC)
I understand the need to disappear, and in regards to me I was just freaking out (I think I'm a bit more rational even if I have become somewhat escapist in my methods).

I don't feel like I can disappear anymore, which makes me sad, because sometimes I need to get away from people until I calm myself down and have reflected on the nature of the Universe! Instead all this crap gets put on my LJ in bigger amounts because I stay when I should disappear. I think my Sag nature is screaming at me about the number of things I have obligations to at the moment.

Anyhow *hugs and loves in general*
dark_cygnetdark_cygnet on September 29th, 2005 03:39 am (UTC)
Hey there. You have to do what's best for you and not worry about the other folks. If they are your friends, then it shouldn't be a problem for them to back you up and let you go on walkabout for awhile. Doesn't mean other folks won't miss you and your posts, but you gotta take care of yourself,yo.
you're thinking of mr wizard: Borg of Joycleverocity on September 30th, 2005 08:29 pm (UTC)
nenya_kanadka on September 30th, 2005 08:36 pm (UTC)
OMG so there. :D
nenya_kanadka on September 30th, 2005 08:37 pm (UTC)
Hee! Glad you liked the mail! :D The business cards would be interesting to see. ^_^
KarenDreamerLady: Shep Hot by Jivefishkarendreamer on October 4th, 2005 03:09 am (UTC)
Fic feedback amongst the babble here
I know what you mean about the out of touch thing. Between a bad back (all better) and a sick computer (also all better) I've been offline a lot lately.

Some of my friends, like you, I never really feel out of touch with. You're in my thoughts a lot, so I feel connected. I've even, eep, read a couple of your Sheppard/Weir fics (I read ship only for very special reasons these days). Suspension is so beautiful and painful. You write sex beautifully. I'll be reading more of your fic because it is so well written, even though I think John and Rodney are the cutest couple ever.

Red, you are a very good writer. I hope you are still working on your romance novel. Your timing is good, you are very readable and very good at the hot parts.