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16 March 2007 @ 12:59 am
keel zem! you must keel zem all!  
Okay, now, normally I'm not a big proponent of genocide.

Which, yes, is not an utterly groundbreaking statement, but I'm a flower-carrying zen-blooded hippie child who rescues worms off sidewalks after it rains and used to worry about eating carrots and breathing because vegetables and microbes are ALIVE!

However, I have a line, and that line is drawn at ANTS. OMG WTF EEEK ANTS!! I have crazeh deadly fear of ants. This one time, Target had this line of patio accessories that included foot-long ant statues and I literally had to bury my face in the back of Gira's shirt and have her lead me blindly out of the aisle to keep from passing out on the floor (and then being forced to be IN THE PRESENCE OF FAKE ANTS even longer!). If my future children hate me, they will bring home ant farms.

So you can imagine my utter joy to discover REAL LIVE ACTUAL ANTS in my bedroom. And sister's bedroom. They appear to have migrated in on a recent batch of CareFresh, and it is all together NOT. OKAY.

As the Rules of Engagement demand, I gave the ants a warning to Leave Peaceably And You Will Not Be Harmed. I have no problem with ants outside. They're all together reasonable insects (unlike, say, flying ants, which NO ecologists will EVER be able to convince me need to exist). One of the hippier of my parents' hippie friends swears by this mind-meld method of pest control, but I haven't been able to master it, perhaps because I never had a near-death experience while touring with the Greatful Dead, I don't know.

Sane people, like my sister, reccomend things like dropping by the Safeway and picking up ant traps and waiting for them to die off, during which time ANTS WILL STILL BE ON THE LOOSE. In the meantime, I have been twitching around my room all panicked and disinfecting my walls (the existance of ants makes me feel the need to sterilize EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER TOUCHED) and shooting ants with Fantastik.

Consider this just the opening volley, ants. All zen reservations are off.
feel: determineddetermined
~*Cassandra*~: oooooh alienspolkadotsnplaid on March 16th, 2007 07:52 am (UTC)

That was a marvelous entry, btw...can I metaquote it?
Little Red: fridge magnets pr0n - josephidesmylittleredgirl on March 16th, 2007 08:12 pm (UTC)
*hugs you back*

I loff your icon!

Er... if you want to? *has never been metaquoted, omg*
live the life you've imaginedcalleigh_j on March 16th, 2007 10:08 am (UTC)
Ants are eeeeevil. I was watching something the other day (can't for the life of me remember exactly what it was) where there were ants in this person's house, and they kept showing close-ups of the ants on chairs and tables and food and stuff and it was *horrible*. Like the cockroach scene in Just Married. Why must we see the creepy-crawly things up close?
Little Red: b5 - corps is mother - thatfangirlmylittleredgirl on March 16th, 2007 08:13 pm (UTC)

live the life you've imaginedcalleigh_j on March 16th, 2007 09:17 pm (UTC)
Totally unnecessary!! Still can't remember what show had the ants on!!

But, good things, I watched the whole of Jake 2.0, and OMG made of awesome. Seriously, Jake and Diane are like the Geek!Love king and queen of everything. I love them. But I want more - I can't believe how it ended!!
Little Red: jake - geek love omg - graphicalrummylittleredgirl on March 16th, 2007 11:22 pm (UTC)

I am so super psyched that you watched at and liked it and omg YAY YAY YAY.

I want more TOO! *stomps foot*
live the life you've imaginedcalleigh_j on March 17th, 2007 01:32 am (UTC)
It's incredible!! The whole thing with him losing his memory and making out with Diane - cutest thing I'd seen in a long while. And their general geekiness is just so adorable. Plus, Chris Gorham on Ugly Betty - love it!!
thekatebeyond on March 16th, 2007 01:00 pm (UTC)
You are so adorable. Bless your flower-carrying zen-blooded hippie soul!

Ants are a problem all Floridians battle. I can tell you that the sprays are a waste of time. As ants walk, they leave a trail, and at whatever point you cut them down, others will follow the trail to that point. What you have to do is figure out where they're coming in or where inside they are housing themselves and put an ant trap right there. Combat brand ant traps are the best.
Little Red: fridge magnets pr0n - josephidesmylittleredgirl on March 16th, 2007 08:15 pm (UTC)
I should maybe not have posted this entry. Because now I am at work AWAY from the ants and am reading comments ABOUT ants and feel the need to shower. A lot.

However, that's very good advice. I was worried about mi pet rats with traps being down, but I can just not let the rats out until after the traps have been removed and I have cleaned everything.
you're thinking of mr wizardcleverocity on March 16th, 2007 01:23 pm (UTC)
I don't normally approve of any sort of poisony deathkilling EXCEPT when our annual ant invasion of the kitchen happens, and then I'm all about the ant traps and spraying various unhelpful things at them (and, er, squashing them and jumping around being grossed out and feeling guilty.)

Mostly I try to only kill them off once they're in (I hates them, especially IN MY FOOD) but then dissuade the rest of them from returning by less deadly methods like cinnamon and peppermint and bay leaves and things. Because as soon as I can't see them I return to hippie ways.

In conclusion, EW! I hope they leave soon. *sends ants mental messages*

Little Red: fridge magnets pr0n - josephidesmylittleredgirl on March 16th, 2007 08:17 pm (UTC)
They are INVADING MY HOME TURF. I have the right to defend my home from INVASION!

Ghandi would probably disagree, but he'd be the only one.

Our kitchen is bizarrely ant-free *knocks wood*. These are bedroom ants, which suggests to me that they exist solely to torture me.

Cinnamon and peppermint and bay leaves, you say? Because that would probably make my room smell niftier than all the bleach and whatnot.
miera_cmiera_c on March 16th, 2007 01:58 pm (UTC)
Baking soda. It helps repel ants plus it's not toxic to you or any pets. Wipe everything down with water heavily mixed with baking soda. Also sprinkle it all over the carpets and then vacuum (bonus: gets rid of carpet odor! ;).

Make sure all food is stored tightly and inside cupboards or the fridge. I'll spare you the horror story of what happened to me and my roomate the time she left the sugar bowl in her tea set filled. *shudder*

Little Red: fridge magnets pr0n - josephidesmylittleredgirl on March 16th, 2007 08:18 pm (UTC)
Brilliant! Baking soda! LOVE EET. Me and my Oreck will totally have fun with that tonight.

The ants have thus far left the kitchen well alone and exist solely in the bedrooms. They are WEIRDO ANTS who hate me a lot, I think. Perhaps they feed off the fear?
rogue equestrian: SGA:: Radek OMG eekelvinborn on March 16th, 2007 02:39 pm (UTC)
my poor mother feels almost the same way about ants in the house. And they love to come into our house and crawl across the kitchen counter. Worse when they get into the camper. We're big fans of using cleaners to kill the ants. Which makes the places they've invaded nice and clean when they're gone-d
I with the same method would work on the ant beds that are taking over my pasture.
Little Red: b5 - corps is mother - thatfangirlmylittleredgirl on March 16th, 2007 08:19 pm (UTC)
*flails and passes out*

If I saw ants on the kitchen counter I might NEVER EAT AGAIN.
rogue equestrian: LOM:: Sam woobie smileelvinborn on March 16th, 2007 09:42 pm (UTC)
hee! sawwy.
they also quite like the shower. so maybe they are clean ants? :)
mysticalweather: SG:1 (lornyloo) BSBaalmysticalweather on March 17th, 2007 03:37 am (UTC)
Ants *hate* cinnamon. You might want to try spreading that around on your kitchen counter.

Melody: Gigglepellmelody on March 16th, 2007 10:41 pm (UTC)
You have Myrmecophobia
Um....you have a fear of ants? I know people who are deathly afraid of snakes, roaches, spiders, & lizards (all of which thrive here in Florida quite well), but ants? Um, not to mock your fear but you do realize that they are far easier to kill than the list I just made, esp. with your thumb. *SQUISH!*

I am forever smashing little piss ants (aka sugar ant) with toilet paper because they seem to find a way into my bathroom (I posted a theory on that in my LJ once, but I don't remember when). So I'll be attempting to answer the call of nature and here comes one. The damned cats just watch them walk on by.

So despite your hippie, flower child-esque, Buddhist-like mentality, when it comes to bugs, I kill 'em all. Except for Daddy Long Legs. They are just too cool. Oh and scarab beetles because they are like miniature tanks, they grow horns and are bad ass. Oh and one more...ladybugs (lady birds). They are just too sweet to hurt. Wait, praying mantis are very cool too.

But then again, I grew up a tomboy and I'm not afraid of any bug, reptile or animal.
Little Red: alias - sucky russian - yodamidalamylittleredgirl on March 16th, 2007 11:28 pm (UTC)
Re: You have Myrmecophobia

No, no, I get that it's hilarious. Howev, I had a most TRAUMATIC experience as a child when my family was all living in one room and there was ant infestation, and one day I woke up from a nap and turned on my lamp and the lamp was FULL OF ANTS, and they ran all over me and IN MY MOUTH and there was a lot of screaming and flailing, as I recall.

ANTS ARE SKEERY because there are MANY of them. They could CARRY ME AWAY IN THE NIGHT!

I don't kill spiders. Spiders are our friends because they eat other bugs! I finally, finally got un-zen enough to kill mosquitoes when found indoors, but mostly I catch things and bring them outside. I even coexisted quite peacefully with exotic cockroaches (is that what they're called? the painted ones?) in my Rhode Island apartment, and would trap them in glasses and take them outside. (They ALSO were bedroom insects and had zero interest in the kitchen. I don't get it.)
Melody: Blehpellmelody on March 17th, 2007 12:27 am (UTC)
Re: You have Myrmecophobia
Dude, if you saw the roaches we have here, you wouldn't want to live with them. They are called Palmetto Bugs and they are big, fly, and are annoying as hell. They grow to about an inch and a half long. AND they frakkin' FLY!!


Did I mention they fly?! Nothing will wake you up faster than having a Palmetto roach crawling across your bare back at 3am. You will stay awake until you hunt it down and beat it to death with the nearest blunt object.

And I had a bit of a tramatic experience myself when I was 10. I was visiting an aunt in Louisiana, and we went to visit an old plantation. I jumped off of a wagon and put my hand into a large fire ant mound. Talk about pain! So I totally understand that.

Ever see the movie "The Naked Jungle"? *giggle*
mysticalweather: A: (kuwdora) Geek Moment #249mysticalweather on March 17th, 2007 04:06 am (UTC)
Re: You have Myrmecophobia
Don't feel bad...my niece is deathly afraid of deer. I have no idea why, but she is. She doesn't even like the deer yard ornaments that some people have.


bookbabe1999bookbabe1999 on March 17th, 2007 06:09 am (UTC)
mix a tablespoon of boric acid in some warm water in a glass. add enough sugar to make it syrupy. put a napkin or paper towel in the glass. put the glass by the ant trail, with the napkin trailing down as a handy ladder of doom. watch ants die (or not -- swarming makes me queasy).

put a few of these glasses along the ant paths. it make take a few rounds, but this will kill them off, without having to use anything too scary. (we live on an anthill, apparently, and have had to deal with this a lot; but better ants than maggots [shudder]). *hugs*
Little Red: trek - ezri teh angst - agentrosecottonmylittleredgirl on March 17th, 2007 07:34 am (UTC)

Okay, my zen reservations aren't totally gone. *angsts*