Did I mention these ants are really really small? Like, small even for ants? And not even anywhere near my kitchen? SHUT UP.
Sister invited an ex-boyfriend who she's now friends with to fly across the country to visit us, only since he got off the plane she realized that she kind of hates him on the grounds of his being an asshead, so there's a whiny emo boy on my couch. He stares at me all creepy and emo-y whenever I go get a glass of water or something. However, he has a phobia of mayonnaise (get me the latin word for that one, pellmelody), which makes the ant thing seem totally sane and manly by comparison.
My attention span has shrunk to the point where I no longer read fanfics at all, but am reading an awful lot of headers.
Thus, the following poll. The first question has radio buttons for the betterment of SCIENCE.
Which of the following Common Fanfic Header Occurances makes you click your back button the fastest?
For the record? I'm probably guilty of every single one of these. Well, except for the Author's Name one. I actually don't moonlight as sparkyishawt4141.
EDIT: I wrote this post last night. I woke up this morning and... no ants in sight. Have they taken pity on me!? Are they all convening somewhere in the walls for a final assault?