Little Red (mylittleredgirl) wrote,
Little Red
mylittleredgirl

I HATE YOU, VOYAGER!!1!

OKAY. I have very much enjoyed this little Voyager Revisionist Marathon that Gira and I have been doing. In fact, we both kind of started to wonder whether we'd judged this show and Janeway too harshly the first time around, and if perhaps the family should stop mocking me for having made a little Baby Janeway uniform for the baby doll I sewed in the seventh grade. I mean, sure, she went batshit and locked herself in her quarters for three months, but after that she seemed sort of okay. And in season 5, the writers spent a few months waxing their eyebrows and greenlighting some stupid plots, and there was that one episode where Chakotay boxes his own crazy brain for 43 minutes -- like, come on, is it a Universal Television Rule that every TV show must have an episode about boxing that sucks? -- but still, things were good.

Were we wrong about Janeway? we asked, feeling kind of bad for all the We Hate Janeway Fan Club newsletters that Gira churned out in our basement. Why do we remember her going completely off the deep end and thought this series was kind of Star Trek's retarded little brother? We're almost to the end of the series. We should be in the clear.

The conclusion to this rant?

FUCK YOU, EQUINOX PART II.

Don't ask me how Sisko can willfully poison AN ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET and get by just fine in my books (good episode, by the way) and this episode makes me retroactively stop respecting Janeway for the past five seasons, BUT IT DOES. And I kind of hate everybody else on the ship for not LOCKING HER THE FUCK AWAY right then and there. TUVOK, TUVOK, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?

Rationally? It was just kind of a crap episode. Captain Ransom's spontaneous redemption could have been less WTF and slapped-together and more meaningful if it didn't seem to be because Seven Of Nine Is Kind Of Hot. Janeway went from zero to Ahab in like .03 seconds, which wasn't fair, because she actually could have had REASONABLE ISSUES about this (this would have been a great time for her to reexamine her own stance on how little she's been willing to bend the rules for her crew, by the way) or at least explained her position in a way that didn't make her seem, I don't know, Possessed By Rabies. NO, NO, I can't rationalize this one! She's just INSANE! ARGH. I AM FULL OF ANGER.

OKAY. The only way I can get to sleep now, omg forgive this episode is that it's really the perfect opportunity for aj and my Grand Plan to have Chakotay, Tuvok and the Doc lock Janeway away for being CRAZY (or, you know, she volunteers, which she kind of might about three hours after this hateful episode ends once she gets the chance to think about what she's done). And then she can GET SANE, and we can move on with our lives and maybe use the Happy Voyager Project tag some more, and there might be some talk of romance novels with B'Elanna.

It would have been really cool if, instead of this episode altogether, Voyager was the ship beat to hell when it encountered another Federation ship, and the other Captain got to lord it over Janeway, and we could all get righteously indignant! That would have been MORE FUN and LESS CRAZY, and I would be LESS FULL OF RAGE WITH AN EXPIRATION DATE OF 1999.

I'm going to go angrily play the Sims now.
Tags: fandom: voyager, the happy voyager project
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