April 21st, 2004

sga - sparktober

How To Be Hot

Today. Whole Foods. Little Red, bravely leaving the Pawtucket House of Couch without a winter coat or heavy sweater for the first time this calendar year.

Getting checked out. A lot.

'Wheeee!' I think. 'I'm hot!'

So hot, in fact, that the cashier can't seem to properly ring up my order for staring so hard. Bagger? Also staring. She's a bag-*girl*, but that's okay, because after four months of relative isolation from other human beings, I am not picky about where compliments might come from.

A source of shame to the liberated sector of my gender, I bat my eyes and smile.

And get no response.

'Hmm,' I worry. 'Have I overshot my hotness? Am I rendering them unable to make eye contact?'

Wait, that's not leering. That's staring. And... reading.

"So, what, is that a mad lib?" the bag-girl asks, pointing.

... oh.

Way To Be Hot #16: Wear T-shirts with lots of small print across the chest.
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