October 10th, 2008

sga - sw happiness - jeepny

Oh, my gosh!

swawards: I really have no idea what to say.

If I did, it would sound kind of like: "Really? Really? ME!? Um... why?" (I'm totally assuming that I'm not the only person on livejournal to have asked that question upon seeing my name in the results, since I hardly posted anything in 2008. If I'm right about that, um, sorry.)

I... um... I've been feeling quite a bit like a talentless hack at life this year, then I saw this (weeks late -- seriously, that alone makes me unworthy), and had a little cry at my desk.

It's really awesome to be part (even if I'm sometimes absent) of a community full of writers and people I really admire. Seriously. I live to have the gift anr has with turns of phrase, the relentless pr0n-writing fingers of miera_c, the quirky fun ideas of aj (who very rightfully won Best Darkfic for "Dolce Vita," in one of her rare breaks from quirky fun THAT TRAUMATIZED ME FOR LIFE), the perseverence of melyanna in the series and novels she pens, the heretofore-unknown-to-me Mad Organizational Ski11z of irony_rocks... oh my gosh, I could go on.

Thanks. I am full of squeee and gratitude. <3

(Update: I'm done crying now and am now full of RABID GLEEE! OH SPARKY, OH FANDOM, OH JOHNANDLIZZIENEEDLOVEANDBABIESRIGHTNAO!)
  • Current Mood
    grateful grateful
sga - sparktober

oh noes.

Man! Wtf, reality, HARSHING MY AWESOME GLEEE OF FANDOM FRIEND LOVE.

Two unfortunate things have just hit the fan:

1) My sister is moving out of state to live with her boyfriend. I knew this was the eventual plan, but I just found out now that it's happening when our lease is up at the end of next month. This means I will be homeless and jobless by the middle of December. On top of being sisterless. Wicked sarcastic awesome.

2) At least four of our rats have taken a rather severe turn for the worse. This means the incredibly disturbing thing of me creating a CO2 delivery system to put them to sleep humanely (or, in the less euphemistic way of putting it, having an assembly line of me killing my pets by gas chamber). Sister will be in Seattle (we were going to do it together, but I don't think it's humane to wait until Monday), so I'm trying to decide if it's best to do it alone or with my boyfriend. For the record, I have two reasons for doing this at home. First of all -- I can't afford to spend hundreds of dollars right now. Secondly, I have learned Very Disturbing Things from the internets about how rodents are put down by vets and that it's less humane than one would hope (and, according to fairly reputable sources, less humane than a home-built gas chamber, because at least this way you anaesthetize them first).

This has triggered my whatever mode, though. It is what it is. Keep your head down, don't get excited, will your way through. ;) In therapy, I'm supposed to be working on de-numbing myself, being less strictly disciplined with myself, etc, but perhaps that can wait until I have strictly disciplined my way through this. (My therapist also says I could do with a little less forceful independence, though, so perhaps she would prefer I call my parents and sound the SOS of Potential Impending Starvation Of Your Offspring.)