April 5th, 2009

trek - sistine trek - lemonrocket

It is Now Safe For You to Re-Watch "These Are The Voyages"


You know how my boyfriend and I are doing the megatrekathon, right? Watching our way through Enterprise, then Classic Trek, then the deeply hilarious Animated Series, TNG, DS9, V'ger...

So, um, we've watched Enterprise. All of it. Except the very last episode. I have been fighting it because my soul has already been raped once by that episode, thankyouverymuch, and quite sufficiently I feel.

He's making me watch it. Seriously, it's sadistic. He threatened an all-out Star Trek strike if I refused. The choice between one hour of EPIC SUFFERING or no Star Trek at all until he gives up his strike? AUGHGHGHGHGHGH.

But he just FIXED IT for me!! He did! I told him about how it brutally destroys a really good TNG episode AS WELL as the entire Enterprise show, the franchise, and my general STATE OF MIND, and he's all, "Oh, that's easy. Riker wakes up post-Nemesis after some crazy dream, all 'Deanna, remember that Pegasus mission? Except it was totally different! And I was in the holodeck dreaming about, I don't know, the NX-01's last mission. Remember, where *spoilers happen*?' And Deanna's all '... That's not what happened on the last mission of the NX-01.'"

IT'S SO PERFECT. It's all a crazy Riker dream. All of it. That's why the history is wrong, why the TNG stuff makes no sense (since Riker soooo did not have time to dork off on the holodeck and Troi was totally dating Worf at the time and would not have been palling around with him all flirty-like), why Riker and Troi are so old (boyfriend chimes in "and fat!") and why IT SUCKS SO HARD.

I think I will now survive "These Are The Voyages." Wish me luck.