May 23rd, 2011

dwts - hines/kym

Operation Crazy Times is a Go!

The Dancing With the Stars Finale Part I is on tonight! While I'm waiting to watch it LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE [this program was previously recorded because you live on the west coast and you suck], I put some thought into what a Dancing With the Stars Finale drinking game might look like:

- Drink for perfect scores! (Bonus crankiness rule: drink twice if the perfect score is undeserved!)
- Anybody says “The freestyle wins the competition!”
- The couple makes a fake-grab for the trophy during a routine.
- Anybody makes out.
- Brooke is visibly confused by a line/coin-toss/her own name/etc.

Just that in a one-hour period should be plenty to get you alcohol poisoning, but you can also look into some bonus categories:

- Maks goes shirtless.
- Kym rocks the fringe.
- Mark in short pants.

Memory Lane:
- Past winner seen in the audience.
- Marie Osmond reference.
- Kenny Mayne. Always drink for Kenny Mayne.

Please Please Love Us:
- Mark or Chelsea mentions Mark’s birthday.
- Someone asks Kirstie how much weight she's lost.
- Any mention of Hines’ mom.

The Judges:
- Carrie Ann cries.
- Len rhymes.
- Bruno actually solicits sex from one of the contestants. (It's important to set the creeper bar high for him - no dice if he just strips on the judges' table.)

This isn't going to happen but if it does we will SHUT EVERYTHING DOWN:
- Mark gets through a dance without pulling focus.
- Kirstie does aerials.

I'll be back at 8 for liveblogging and drinking. Bring it on. If you East Coasters spoil me ahead of time we're not talking anymore. What am I saying, none of you watch this show. EXCEPTION: IF KYM GETS DIAMONDS OR MAKEOUTS, YOU CAN AND MUST SPOIL ME RIGHT NOW.
dwts - hines/kym


Armed with my drinking game cheat sheet and MORE GLITTER THAN DISCO and a state of emotional hype that is really way out of proportion to what is actually taken place, THE DANCING WITH THE STARS SEASON TWELVE FINALE PART ONE (because part 2 is tomorrow, and that's the part where all the stars come back and do hokey dances and someone hoists a mirrorball and I WILL BE THERE TO DRINK AND BLOG MORE).

Anyway, mspooh is my East Coast scout and she informed me that Kym doesn't die on live television (hooray!) and that I will need more booze than previously anticipated, so I went out to buy Heineken, because the future King and Queen of Dorkistan Pittsburgh named their dance team Hinekym (which, to be fair, is actually better than some of the team names we've seen in the past. Louis and Kendra literally called theirs Team Kendra 'n' Louis because they couldn't stand each other long enough to come up with something clever). I don't even like Heineken. THIS SHOULD BE INTERESTING.

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