Yeah, yeah, right now that interest is monopolized by rarely-updated communities and rpg characters from shows I don't watch, but soon we will TAKE IT OVER, as we have taken over so many things before!
Ehm, I have no Sparky Gleee prepared for today's portion of SPARKY OCTOBER. So... um... I think Lyssie might have challenged me to a certain 5 things recently.
A bit porny. I love that OOC is the new black.
5 Random Places Sparky Done Sex:
1. One time, they have sex in an Ancient storage room. It's a mile away from the control tower and full of nothing but useless spare parts (useless because no one can find any of the equipment that fits them), so it seems like the perfect place to go when everybody in the universe is nagging Elizabeth about something and John really wants her all to himself. It's been five days -- five days -- since they were last alone together, what with missions and crises and a 48-hour unnecessary quarrantine, and that's pretty much absolutely his limit.
He gets her there under some false pretense -- "we need to discuss changing to a four-shift rotation" is their latest key phrase -- and then lays out a blanket for their secret love nest beneath the shelves of 10,000-year-old unknown metal parts.
"My knees are too old for this," she laughs.
"Five days, Elizabeth," is his answer, and apparently all the convincing she needs.
Elizabeth's back is arched, hands grabbing on to unidentified Ancient metal pipes for leverage as he groans and thrusts and mutters lots of things out loud about how damned hot she is, when Elizabeth suddenly stops moving.
"John," she asks. "Is that... did that thingup there always have a light on it?"
It takes Rodney another month to realize that the spare parts belong to an Ancient visual security system.
They never use that particular love nest again.
2. The very first time they have sex is about sixteen light years away from either of their beds. There's some alien tobacco involved, but just a little, and hell, they've been almostnearlykindofgoingto do it for three whole months already (considering he's only known her for about two weeks longer than those three months, and that he hasn't had a decent night's sleep since she first showed up to work in a white tank top, John thinks he's shown considerable restraint).
Unfortunately, there's Teyla in Elizabeth's suite and Rodney and Ford in his, and they wander around in a bit of a drugged haze, holding hands and pretending to admire the architecture while he contemplates exactly how big a breach of diplomatic protocol it would be for him to just strip naked and take her right here in the hallway next to all the statues of Kazaaalian heroes.
At the top of the building is an open-air deck with convenient patio furniture, and that works, too.
"You don't-" he says, just before the underwear, "You don't think this is a mistake, do you?"
She beams wickedly. "Let's say it isn't."
They don't actually manage to find her underwear after all is said and done. Later, just when John is starting to kick himself for possibly screwing up absolutely everything by taking advantage or being taken advantage of and just generally dipping his pen in really really hot company ink, she nudges him and whispers, "Consider it part of our trade offer."
He laughs out loud, and decides that they really need to do this again someday.
3. The supply closet on the third level isn't so much "random" as "routine," for the most part, and it's gotten to the point where John actually can't look at post-its, packing tape or emergency battery chargers without getting a little bit distracted. It's convenient from her office, locks from the inside (with his handy all-in-one Ancient Gene Universal Remote) and is close enough to the mess hall that when people see them headed that way, no one ever asks them why they seem to spend so much time inventorying the office supplies.
This time it was her idea, probably because of her six-hour meeting with the scientific department heads that morning, and John is more than happy to follow her lead. Elizabeth's hands are in his pants and her mouth is doing unbelievable things to the hollow in his collarbone, and then the back of his head collides with the wall and everything shakes.
At first he doesn't think it's unusual, until Elizabeth's hands stop moving. She retrieves her hands and touches her comm earpiece. "Control tower, this is Weir."
There's no answer. He barely has time to do up his fly before she reaches for the door panel.
Her hand goes right through it.
They can walk through walls, but she feels as real as ever. It isn't long before Rodney shows up, babbling science at a mile a minute and talking about how something caused this whole area of Atlantis to shift at the quantum level...
The general consensus seems to be that some idiot must have hit a hidden control panel in the office supply closet hard enough to trigger it and that the whole thing can be fixed in about three hours.
After a few more minutes of trying to help -- not easy, when existing at a different quantum state -- John gets tired of seeing Elizabeth pace and tugs on her hand.
"You can't seriously be proposing that."
Two hours later, John gets a hand job in another dimension for the first time.
4. After everything they've been through in another galaxy, a three-star hotel in the DC Metro area is about as random as you can get. They were flown in for a morning meeting and are flying back at 6. They check in without luggage in the middle of the day, after telling General O'Neill that they're skipping out on Pentagon cafeteria food because they really, really, really want to find a Denny's. John raids the vending machines and then Elizabeth goes down on him, and God, if it doesn't feel somehow completely different on Earth, gravitational constants or a King-sized bed or the fact that she's still wearing her deliciously business-class nylons and heels.
Afterward, they watch TV, and John draws circles on Elizabeth's stomach with ice-machine ice from the vending lobby until she shrieks and giggles and then rolls over the remote, and they have sex again to a background of CSPAN-2.
They actually do find a Denny's, on the way to Bolling to catch their plane.
John's pretty sure that General O'Neill knew exactly how they were really planning to spend their day.
5. Everyone just assumes they have sex in the jumpers. John likes to pretend that nobody knows about their little one-time-two-time-most-of-the-time-espec
The occasional thumbs-up he gets from Ford whenever he heads off to a mission debrief with Doctor Weir makes him think that maybe they haven't been quite so good at hiding it after all.
They haven't done it in a jumper, actually, and he's been meaning to rectify that for quite a while, but it's practically impossible for them to both leave the city at the same time and there is always someone on duty in the jumper bay who might notice if a ship suddenly cloaks.
"It's not such a big deal," Elizabeth mocks him when his pillow talk turns into a long complaint about the lengths he's gone to to arrange a jumper escape no one will notice, and how his plans always get derailed. "The jumpers will still be there tomorrow."
He sighs. "I guess so."
Elizabeth crawls over him where they're lying in his bed and nips kisses along his jaw. "You planning some kind of major disaster I should know about?"
He shoots her a look, although it's probably a little cross-eyed given how close she is to his nose.
A kiss. "You know, chances are I'll still be here tomorrow, too."
He grins. He can't help it. It's not the first time they've admitted that this is more than just an occasional tension release between friends, but it's probably only the third or fourth, and it still gives him a rush to hear it.
She smiles and brushes a tender hand through his hair. "Don't let it go to your head."
He grabs her hand and shoots out of bed. "Come on, screw it," he tells her, and throws on clothes, and drags her to the jumper bay.
Propriety be damned, this time they don't even make up an excuse for why they need to take the jumper out on a test run at two thirty in the morning. (To his credit, Grodin in the control room doesn't ask.)
"You know, John," Elizabeth tells him, "I'm actually already a member of the mile-high club."
John smirks and then directs the puddle-jumper with a thought to keep climbing higher. "Yep," he says as they start to break through the atmosphere. "But I'm pretty sure this is a new one."