Oh, God. What do I do? I'm not in the best financial situation right now with unemployment looming, but these are also my babies and my responsibility and, geez, in Emony's case it's my fault that she's even alive. I held Emy about twenty seconds after she was born. (For real. Her mom, Ezri, was a first-time mom and freaked out unless I was petting her.) I'm the one who has fed them their whole lives (maybe not with enough vitamins?), I made the choice not to spay them because it was too expensive and the anesthesia was risky and because I apparently didn't research the bit where female rats almost certainly get tumors after 18 months old (Emony is younger than that, but only by 4 months or so) if they aren't spayed. Plus -- do you know how hard it is to find a vet who will fix a rat? It's hard. I tried.
So I feel guilty, and a little worried that this is going to become an epidemic soon (not because tumors are contagious, but because I have a lot of rats around the same age), and also overwhelmed by the decision and the cost even of the initial vet visit and the lab reports when they said over the phone that it might not even matter either way.
But would I actually even be able to sit here and watch my babies go through this while doing nothing?
I did some research and found talk of some medication, non-surgical things that might help a bit in the short term so I'll call the vet tomorrow with that. And think about putting them under the knife and getting them spayed at the same time to hopefully prevent future tumors but, man, the vet tech said that rats don't seem too traumatized by surgery but MY BABIES WOULD BE UNDER THE KNIFE! :(
Emony was all "wtf, stop with the holding me still!" when I was checking her out, but Jadzie started chattering away and snuggling against my neck and she feels so much lighter and fluffier than she used to, like she's mostly just fur. :(
Hmm. My holiday season is not going all that well so far.
Shit, what am I going to do?
(That's sort of a rhetorical question. And anyone who says "Sachi, they're just rats" is OFF my Christmas list. I don't care if it's a freaking goldfish, if it's alive and under my roof it's my responsibility to care for it, which is why I brought the Evil Russian Goldfish across the country with me rather than turn them over to strangers. Man. Maybe I should have gotten a pet rock.)