Little Red (mylittleredgirl) wrote,
Little Red

Don't Try This At Home

I believe it's time for an episode of Things Not To Do, with Little Red & Company: We Screw Up So You Don't Have To!

Without further ado, Things Not To Do:

1) Run dog in high heels in below-freezing temperatures. Collisions, injuries, general physical damage may occur. (There's probably more than just one Thing Not To Do in that one. Consider it a bonus, much the way I consider it a bonus that I didn't break anything. My first thought upon hitting the ground full-force was Thank God I'm not 80!)

2) While a post-injury bath with epsom salts to relax strained muscles may be a Thing To Do, it is not a good idea to get into salted bath water WITH OPEN WOUNDS. Apparently the thing about pouring salt in wounds is actually not just a figure of speech.

3) Once all the yelping has stopped and while still in salted bath water, don't START SHAVING.

This is all the wisdom I will impart to you now. I could go on with subjects like jaywalking and taking jobs at start-up companies, but it's probably best not to overwhelm you with knowledge. Go. Reflect. If I continue to work these long hours, I will surely have more dumb for you later.

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