Little Red (mylittleredgirl) wrote,
Little Red

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Everybody Needs A Theory About Sarah Palin

Okay, okay, we're all pretending to be sick of the Palin news coverage by now and the Palin blogging and whatever else, but I haven't weighed in yet, and I think I technically have to in order to be allowed to keep writing a blog from the US of A.

My love of gossip blogs has recently made me very knowledgeable and conversant in politics & current events, which is pretty awesome. And seriously? I would get a series recording of the Sarah Palin Show. Think how awesome it would be (if this weren't real life): The first female governor of Alaska has a greeting-card family, and now, THE DRAMA! Every week is a Very Special Episode: new baby with problems! Son going off to war! Teenage daughter pregnant by local rough-houser! I'd so cast cute little Piper Palin as the wise-cracking little sister. Everyone involved is really quite good-looking, too.

Which leads me to my theory du jour, developed today after I read the latest dish that Sarah Palin had an affair with husband Todd's coworker, and Todd covered it up. Leaving aside the practical questions of when Sarah Palin would have had the time in between running Alaska and starring in the inspired-by-true-characters TV show I just invented, and therefore how I really can't imagine this story is true, let's focus on why I and the rest of the free world care enough to read about it: and I think the answer isn't (just) that she's a high-profile woman that we'd love to take down, or (just) because she's both a threat and an easy mark for today's liberal hay-makers, but because she's pretty.

Think about this in terms of the John Edwards affair. Yes, it's delicious juicy gossip, which is why ten million blogs drooled all over it (and the mainstream media eventually fell in line). We all love us some good hypocrisy. However, everyone basically ignored (or, at best, footnoted) that McCain cheated on his disabled wife with Cindy, which is a pretty similar thing. McCain came clean about it to the media early on, but so did McCain's-Aides-on-behalf-of-Bristol-Palin, and look where that got her. I think a really important factor to consider is: No one wants to imagine John McCain having sex. Really. I cringed a little just writing that sentence. John Edwards? Sure -- it's like Barbie & Ken for grown-ups. Sarah Palin? Runner-up Miss Alaska. Bristol Palin and her betrothed are also good-looking ready-for-prime-time kids. Please spare me from ever having to consider Joe Biden without clothes.

I really love the theory being floated on even some conservative-leaning political blogs these days that Palin was chosen because she would bring the drama and drag the nation's attention away from Obama And His Special Destiny. It worries me that it actually might be a totally brilliant strategy that I'm feeding right now (Christ, would people in this country actually vote for this pair just because they bring the omglols!?) and might put McCain in the white house.

Agree? Disagree? Think I've spent too much time in checkout line magazine racks lately?

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