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05 September 2008 @ 08:28 am
Everybody Needs A Theory About Sarah Palin  
Okay, okay, we're all pretending to be sick of the Palin news coverage by now and the Palin blogging and whatever else, but I haven't weighed in yet, and I think I technically have to in order to be allowed to keep writing a blog from the US of A.

My love of gossip blogs has recently made me very knowledgeable and conversant in politics & current events, which is pretty awesome. And seriously? I would get a series recording of the Sarah Palin Show. Think how awesome it would be (if this weren't real life): The first female governor of Alaska has a greeting-card family, and now, THE DRAMA! Every week is a Very Special Episode: new baby with problems! Son going off to war! Teenage daughter pregnant by local rough-houser! I'd so cast cute little Piper Palin as the wise-cracking little sister. Everyone involved is really quite good-looking, too.

Which leads me to my theory du jour, developed today after I read the latest dish that Sarah Palin had an affair with husband Todd's coworker, and Todd covered it up. Leaving aside the practical questions of when Sarah Palin would have had the time in between running Alaska and starring in the inspired-by-true-characters TV show I just invented, and therefore how I really can't imagine this story is true, let's focus on why I and the rest of the free world care enough to read about it: and I think the answer isn't (just) that she's a high-profile woman that we'd love to take down, or (just) because she's both a threat and an easy mark for today's liberal hay-makers, but because she's pretty.

Think about this in terms of the John Edwards affair. Yes, it's delicious juicy gossip, which is why ten million blogs drooled all over it (and the mainstream media eventually fell in line). We all love us some good hypocrisy. However, everyone basically ignored (or, at best, footnoted) that McCain cheated on his disabled wife with Cindy, which is a pretty similar thing. McCain came clean about it to the media early on, but so did McCain's-Aides-on-behalf-of-Bristol-Palin, and look where that got her. I think a really important factor to consider is: No one wants to imagine John McCain having sex. Really. I cringed a little just writing that sentence. John Edwards? Sure -- it's like Barbie & Ken for grown-ups. Sarah Palin? Runner-up Miss Alaska. Bristol Palin and her betrothed are also good-looking ready-for-prime-time kids. Please spare me from ever having to consider Joe Biden without clothes.

I really love the theory being floated on even some conservative-leaning political blogs these days that Palin was chosen because she would bring the drama and drag the nation's attention away from Obama And His Special Destiny. It worries me that it actually might be a totally brilliant strategy that I'm feeding right now (Christ, would people in this country actually vote for this pair just because they bring the omglols!?) and might put McCain in the white house.

Agree? Disagree? Think I've spent too much time in checkout line magazine racks lately?
 
 
feel: amusedamused
 
 
 
~mommy monster~: hockeytownmomm2five on September 5th, 2008 04:58 pm (UTC)
ROFLMAO! I heard that voice-over guy in my head when I read *VERY SPECIAL EPISODE*. snort


Sorry, had to wipe Diet Coke off the monitor and keyboard.

I'd have to agree with you. Definitely too much time in the check-out line . . . LOL!

No, really, I agree. I think Americans just love a good soap opera. They also love to make themselves feel better by looking at someone who they think *has it all* and seeing what they perceive as failure. Americans are so quick to degrade, cut down, and make fun of. It's not a fun place to live sometimes. We're just about an hour north of Detroit and I'm sure you've heard what's been going on there with Kwame Kilpatrick recently. Personally, I'm glad the loser is leaving office. But I feel bad for his wife and kids. But what a mess it's been around here for MONTHS. Ugh. Interrupt my Today Show for 7 hour coverage of people sitting in a courtroom WAITing for something to happen?!?! Geesh . . .

Anywho - lovely post. I'd have to agree with you.
Little Redmylittleredgirl on September 6th, 2008 05:50 pm (UTC)
I actually *haven't* heard what's happening around Detroit lately! What the heck, Google News?
Rose Wilde-Irish: artistic cropping by naushikarosewildeirish on September 5th, 2008 04:58 pm (UTC)
I would get a series recording of the Sarah Palin Show.

*koffs* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEW12XLUM7A
Little Redmylittleredgirl on September 6th, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
Maybe I wouldn't. I got through the first two minutes and then had to stop watching. :-/ Does it get more funny?
(no subject) - rosewildeirish on September 7th, 2008 12:40 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mylittleredgirl on September 7th, 2008 02:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rosewildeirish on September 7th, 2008 02:39 am (UTC) (Expand)
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(no subject) - rosewildeirish on September 7th, 2008 02:47 am (UTC) (Expand)
redbeardredbeard on September 5th, 2008 05:03 pm (UTC)
Hrm. My "never attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity" sensor says no - that it was just a rash McCain-esque choice in response to the dems convention and his need to pander to his own base. But my cynicism filter says you just might be right.

My favorite recent item that I'm waiting to gain traction (at least in Florida) is that, last month, her church hosted a speaker advocating the viewpoint that terrorist attacks on
Jews in israel are God's judgement on our refusal to accept Jesus
. We'll see if that one gains traction on the same level as the Wright controversy (although, sadly, there's no video, and questions have been raised as to whether she was there or not - most say yes, some say no).

But the refocus theory has some merit - I mean, nothing good McCain did seemed to get his campaign any attention, so....
Little Red: b5 - ivanova oven - crazybeemylittleredgirl on September 6th, 2008 05:55 pm (UTC)
Sheeeeesh!!

I mean, after the whole Wright thing, I'm more than willing to just disregard crap that people's churches say, but hopefully SOMEONE will at least shove Palin in front of a mic and make her disavow that.

I realize that my theory may be crediting these people with a level of intelligence that's not warranted... but you know, if they really did rig an election and a half in the past 8 years, they can't be entirely dumb. So it's possible!
Lisa Yaegerlisayaeger on September 5th, 2008 06:54 pm (UTC)
Please spare me from ever having to consider Joe Biden without clothes.

I NEED A SPORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some will vote for Palin; hopefully fewer than voted for Bush. Have you watched McCain walk lately? Seriously, he doesn't do it well. They are one hell of a pair: one's on death's door, and the other is the devil (albeit it a pretty one) luring him in.
Little Redmylittleredgirl on September 6th, 2008 05:57 pm (UTC)
It's a totally ridiculous and frightening pairing, but the frightening ridiculousness of it may get more people tuning into their TV (already has, really). So hopefully those people will be disgusted & horrified instead of enraptured. One can only hope.
Icepixie: Rebecca kill me nowicepixie on September 5th, 2008 07:01 pm (UTC)
(Christ, would people in this country actually vote for this pair just because they bring the omglols!?)

Never doubt this. Never.
Little Red: b5 - ivanova oven - crazybeemylittleredgirl on September 6th, 2008 05:57 pm (UTC)
Yeah... I mean, there are totally going to be a bunch of people who go "We HAVE to vote for McCain so that we can find out if Palin's grandbaby is a boy or a girl!"
(no subject) - icepixie on September 6th, 2008 10:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Fallon Ash: EFC rememberfallon_ash on September 5th, 2008 07:01 pm (UTC)
Most of these names reside somewhere in the vicinity of, you know, America, as opposed to Sweden, meaning I have no idea who they are. I do know that Sarah Palin is hot, because I saw a picture of her this morning, but then fyca taught me that I must hate her for she is evil incarnate.

However, I have a much more important (and irrelevant to this post) comment to make. Or more like a favour to ask of you. Am I to understand that you watch Stargate: Atlantis? (Lately posts have been about DS9, but I read your bio to make sure (I don't watch any of those shows, so therefore I have a slight bit of trouble knowing which one is which) and you claim that SG:A is important in your life?) Anyway, the thing is, my true love du jour is supposed to be on SG:A tonight (5x07 - Whispers), playing someone called Major Anne Teldy, and being that I am in Sweden I will not be able to watch this (just yet). So my question is this, should it happen that you were to watch this episode tonight, might it be possible for you to respond to this after you've seen it, and let me know if she did well? Please? :)
Little Redmylittleredgirl on September 6th, 2008 05:59 pm (UTC)
Oh my sweetheart from Sweden, I don't have incoming TV anymore and don't watch Atlantis anymore!! I haven't seen any links posted yet for downloadable episodes, but if I do, I will let you know. Hopefully youtube will be able to give you a fix soon!

(You're right though, I do love Atlantis, but it's a bit of a past-tense love these days with the lack of TV.)
(no subject) - fallon_ash on September 6th, 2008 06:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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miera_c: armymiera_c on September 5th, 2008 07:17 pm (UTC)
Palin raised $8 million for Obama.

For serious. All those people tuned in to watch her speak the other night and were so horrified they dumped more than eight million dollars into Obama's coffers in less than 24 hours.

And supposedly Palin was chosen because a seekrit cabal of extreme right wingers made it so.

(If I read all this as a plot in a book, I'd be rolling my eyes going "Dude, no way. Not believable." But to misquote Sparkledammerung, "Sarah Palin means never having to say you're kidding.")
pellucid: Egghead Communistpellucid on September 5th, 2008 07:42 pm (UTC)
(If I read all this as a plot in a book, I'd be rolling my eyes going "Dude, no way. Not believable." But to misquote Sparkledammerung, "Sarah Palin means never having to say you're kidding.")

Bwahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

Interesting how terror and panic makes everything that much funnier...
(no subject) - mylittleredgirl on September 6th, 2008 06:00 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Samin_parentheses on September 5th, 2008 09:39 pm (UTC)
You're totally right. People make a much bigger deal about it when it's slightly appealing -- or at least not thoroughly icky -- to imagine those people Doing It.

Which is why I am terrified that Obama has a campaign-trail affair just waiting to reveal herself at the most inopportune time. 'Cause that dude is the best-looking man we've had anywhere near the White House since Thomas Jefferson. And he's had women throwing themselves at him for a year. Stay strong, Barack! Stay strong!
miera_cmiera_c on September 5th, 2008 10:36 pm (UTC)
best-looking man we've had anywhere near the White House since Thomas Jefferson

What about Kennedy? Not your type?
(no subject) - in_parentheses on September 5th, 2008 10:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - miera_c on September 5th, 2008 10:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mylittleredgirl on September 6th, 2008 06:01 pm (UTC) (Expand)
~*Cassandra*~: Cute: Kawaii || Squish!polkadotsnplaid on September 7th, 2008 03:16 am (UTC)
I <3 you.

...also, are you going to Kappa's 25th? *hopeful*
*: ayu [peace yo]spockette on September 7th, 2008 05:47 pm (UTC)
If it was a sitcom, I'd TOTES watch Sarah Palin in the White House with John McCain. It would be like Commander in Chief, only starring Tina Fey, instead of Geena Davis. IRL, it's a lot less lolsome. :(