me: "Well, we're not getting cable internet in our area until 2007. People will have cable internet on Mars by 2007."
father: "Cable internet? You want cable internet? Two years ago it was really big news that we could get voicemail here! It's like we're living in 1985!"
mother: "You think that's bad? The plumber came today. He's also a volunteer fireman. He said he's never heard of our street before, because our street isn't on the fire department map."
me: "That sounds... dangerous."
father: "I'm serious, here. Do you think there is anywhere else in this country that's so unimportant that you can't get caller ID?"
mother: *holds up magazine* "Look! They called Berkshire County the cultural center of New England!"
father: "Now I'm depressed."