One True Pairing Ship: Reed/Hayes. Because they beat each other senseless before sex. HA.
Favorite Canon Ship: Trip/T'Pol. Especially in the shower.
"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" 'Ship: T'Pol/Archer. Although, a lot less so since Archer stopped being a tool. I might not cause myself physical harm anymore, just sputter a bit about the meanttobe-ness of Trip and T'Pol. He introduced her to pie! PIE!
"You are one sick bastard" 'Ship: Archer/Hoshi. WHAT? It's THERE, and she already likes his dog. *mutters* it's not sick!
"I dabble a little" 'Ship: Hoshi/Mayweather. Because they have so much time off-screen in which to do it.
"It's like a car crash" 'Ship: Malcolm "kill me now" Reed/Hoshi "more neuroses than you can count on two hands" Sato
"Tickles my fancy but not sold quite yet" 'Ship: T'Pol/Hoshi. Hoshi fangirls T'Pol madly, especially in the first season, so there is that... but... *shrugs*
"Makes no canon sense but why the hell not" 'Ship: Trip/Hoshi. Um... because they're pretty. And there's the one scene with Phlox's wife where I think she has a crush, but that could be because *I* have a crush. That's all, though.
"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" 'Ship: Trip/Reed. I was all about it until something better came along for both of them. Their love never had a chance. Poor Reed.
"When all is said and done" 'Ship: Trip/T'Pol. Aww.
Fandom: Babylon 5
One True Pairing Ship: Talia/Garibaldi, dammit!! *sigh* I am so alone.
Favorite Canon Ship: John/Delenn. Their cuteness overwhelms me. And Sinclair/Sakai, especially after they got their own novel ("To Dream in the City of Sorrows"). Marcus/Ivanova make me squeee, for all their awkwardness.
"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" 'Ship: I was going to say "Londo/G'Kar" because if they have sex, the universe will never recover... but their platonic relationship is too great to threaten. How about Lochley/Garibaldi? WRONG.
"You are one sick bastard" 'Ship: Susan/Talia/Garibaldi. I just want Talia to have sex with *everybody.* Plus, it makes sense, in a dysfunctional sort of way. And those three are nothing if not dysfunctional.
"I dabble a little" 'Ship: Susan/Talia
"It's like a car crash" 'Ship: Marcus/Ivanova. *SOBS* I need to read a really well-done story where he comes back so that this pairing stops making me sad with the galactic unfairness of it all. And most of the fic I've encountered really *is* like a horribly misspelled car crash, but that's what I get for trolling the descending pit of hell (tm aj).
"Tickles my fancy but not sold quite yet" 'Ship: Franklin/Hobbes. I'd really like him to get a honey... so I suppose I can overlook the "this is just because he needs a honey and they were on screen together that one time" nature of this. And the fact that we know nothing about her character besides the fact that she exists and wears scrubs.
"Makes no canon sense but why the hell not" 'Ship: Talia/Lyta. They could *so* have had a thing back in the Psi Corps academy when they knew each other, and it would have been telepathsexsquared, and it would have been the HOT.
"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" 'Ship: Garibaldi/Lise. They had their thing and I just want it to stay over. Girl has caused him quite enough trouble already.
"When all is said and done" 'Ship: Sinclair/Sakai. Breeding lots of Delenn's ancestors. *happy sigh*
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
One True Pairing Ship: The problem with the term "One True Pairing" is that you only get one. Screw that. Odo/Kira, because, *my God,* "Children of Time" and "Chimera." *swoons* Bashir/Dax, because he loves her twice! Sisko/Kasidy, because it's epic... and yet really really normal. And because she forgave him for putting her in jail.
Favorite Canon Ship: the best part about DS9 is that people actually have sex! So many canon ships! But Miles and Keiko win, because SOMEHOW they manage to keep their family together.
"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" 'Ship: Kira/Dukat. MAKE IT STOP! He slept with her MOM! God. Ew. *takes shower*
"You are one sick bastard" 'Ship: I could have gone for something more with the O'Briens/Kira relationship... and then... I run away because the O'Briens are good and pure.
"I dabble a little" 'Ship: Garak/Ziyal, I guess. Even though she's like TWELVE.
"It's like a car crash" 'Ship: Worf/Dax. Because I keep yelling "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" at Dax, but it has some great moments.
"Tickles my fancy but not sold quite yet" 'Ship: Bashir/O'Brien. Eh. Meh. Miles and Keiko are sacred. But it's interesting as a UST thing. Really, though, I *love* them as friends.
"Makes no canon sense but why the hell not" 'Ship: Sisko/Kira. If I pretend they aren't both involved in other canon pairings that I really like, I see it all over the place and am a big fan. In the real DS9 universe, I love their friendship.
"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" 'Ship: I'd say "Worf/Dax after they got married"... but I think that 'everyone else' probably hates it more than me. I like some things about it a lot, not least of which that it got Worf off of Troi already. But... I missed good ol' slutty Dax, and felt bad for Bashir.
"When all is said and done" 'Ship: Bashir/Ezri, because, YAY! Go have cute spotted babies!
Fandom: Star Trek: The Next Generation
One True Pairing Ship: Picard/Crusher. *LOVE IT.*
Favorite Canon Ship: Riker/Troi. And Beverly/Jack Crusher
"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" 'Ship: Worf/Troi. Oh, wait. My eye!!
"You are one sick bastard" 'Ship: The crew of the Enterprise D are my sacred childhood heroes. Make this question go away. Unless Riker/Crusher counts as being sick, because I totally go there. I don't know, I thought this would be very hot when I was a kid and I still kind of think that. And "The Host" is awesome for letting me have this in a wonderful science-fiction way that doesn't screw up the actual OTPs. Even though it totally means Riker's had her before Picard. Heh.
"I dabble a little" 'Ship: Geordi/Leah. "Galaxy's Child" makes me cringe so badly I run into the other room... but... so cute and perfect and made for each other!!
"It's like a car crash" 'Ship: Riker/Ro. Who have *also* had sex in science-fiction way that allows it to not mean anything. Damn, Riker gets around.
"Tickles my fancy but not sold quite yet" 'Ship: Picard/Anij. I can't help it, I *like* her and like their hands-off romance in "Insurrection." I also don't think they ever see each other again.
"Makes no canon sense but why the hell not" 'Ship: How about... Geordi LaForge and Sam Carter from Stargate SG-1!! Their love is so polysyllabic and in a Jeffries' tube!
"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" 'Ship: Picard/Vash. I love Vash and all, but I never got it once there was any pretense of it being about more than just sex for either of them.
"When all is said and done" 'Ship: Picard/Crusher, even just as friends. They should live together and be all old-married-couple-y even if they never get over themselves enough to have sex (although, fortunately, they will. And I'm betting did before "Nemesis"). And Riker and Troi, now that they're *finally* done sowing their wild oats.
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
One True Pairing Ship: Janeway/Chakotay
Favorite Canon Ship: Paris/Torres
"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" 'Ship: Janeway/Paris. She knew him as a kid, and I don't care that they're both blonde. Fortunately, despite misleading pre-series info that totally warped my young mind into constantly looking out for it, they never went there.
"You are one sick bastard" 'Ship: Seska/Harry Kim. She had one throwaway line about it and I was thirteen and jumped all over it before I knew she was Cardassian and would break the poor boy in half. Old ships die hard.
"I dabble a little" 'Ship: Harry/Seven. I *do* love it for more than just the convenience of getting everybody paired off. I do! They're both so cute and awkward! And... well, getting everybody paired off isn't nothing.
"It's like a car crash" 'Ship: B'Elanna/Chakotay. It's wrong, and yet...
"Tickles my fancy but not sold quite yet" 'Ship: Carey/Wildman. I could go there, I suppose, but, like most invented-off-screen 'ships, it would take work. But I love Samantha and Carey both, so, it's logical in that way. And I totally volunteer to babysit for Naomi while they go off on romantic getaways.
"Makes no canon sense but why the hell not" 'Ship: We should hook the Doctor up with Geordi's Leah Brahms hologram!
"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" 'Ship: Janeway/B'Elanna. Janeway's totally a mother figure for B'Elanna, and that means it should stop. Ditto Janeway/Kes. New rule: Janeway needs to not sleep with young girls.
"When all is said and done" 'Ship: Janeway/Chakotay, because he's the only one who will put up with her when she melts down 0.045 seconds from the moment when it all gets said and done.
Fandom: The X-Files
One True Pairing Ship: Mulder/Scully
Favorite Canon Ship: Doggett/Reyes. Don’t even tell me it isn't canon.
"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" 'Ship: Frohike/Reyes. What? WHY? How do 'ships like this get started? Because they both have leather jackets? Stop it!
"You are one sick bastard" 'Ship: It's not sick, but people still yell at me for liking Fowley/Mulder, at least pre-series. And the fact that I can ship Fowley with Mulder or Spender while the show sort of seems to pair her with *their father* is sort of sick, but that's really more Chris Carter's fault than mine, the asshead.
"I dabble a little" 'Ship: Scully/Reyes, and I don't really dabble on purpose. One woman asked me to beta, and Reye made me swear to try and write a scene. I can see it in a "that was... weird... yet hot, I suppose..." sort of way, but not "truelove4evah!!1!" by any stretch of the imagination. Monica adores her in a way that could easily get sexual... but Scully couldn't do it. And Skinner/Sharon, although I'm probably alone in that one, too. I want him to stay with the wife that he loves! Is that so wrong?
"It's like a car crash" 'Ship: Doggett/Scully. I can't help it. They are *so pretty.* But it's too doomed to live.
"Tickles my fancy but not sold quite yet" 'Ship: Skinner/Doggett. I definitely see it on the show and enjoy flailing my hands at the TV whenever it comes up... and yet, I have no real desire for it to go anywhere.
"Makes no canon sense but why the hell not" 'Ship: Reyes/Krycek. Would be hot. Too bad about the death. But she strikes me as the type who would sleep with the devil.
"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" 'Ship: Skinner/Scully... I really don't see it, guys. I understand that everyone who gets within 20 feet of Scully falls in love with her... but no.
"When all is said and done" 'Ship: Doggett/Reyes, unless Mulder and Scully stop sucking, dammit.
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
One True Pairing Ship: Katherine/Ernest is the TRUE OTP, I swear! And Jack/Sam. Daniel/Janet. Haley/Walsh. Rya'c/Cassie (they are so meanttobe the moment they're in the same episode! Promise!). *silly grin*
Favorite Canon Ship: Jack/Sam. And Katherine/Ernest for their forty-three minutes of fame! And I *love* Jack/Sara, but in a way where it was amazing and truelove and awesome and isn't going to be rekindled and mess up the *other* S/J.
"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" 'Ship: Sam/Pete. How cliched is that answer? But really... we had our fun with that pairing, make it go away now. And let me toss Daniel/Sarah in there, because she's there as a pale excuse for Sha're. I'd really like her to still be evil, because Osiris was the hottest thing ever, but if she *has* to be un-evil, then she deserves better than to hang around assuaging the guilt of a man who never really loved her to begin with. A hot man, to be granted, but still.
"You are one sick bastard" 'Ship: Jacob/Selmak is the weirdest I get on this show, I think.
"I dabble a little" 'Ship: Sarah/Pete. It sticks it to Sam and Daniel, gets the boy off the back of the OTP, and it actually makes sense! She'll need someone to pay more attention to her than Daniel will as she recovers, plus she would probably *welcome* Pete getting a little control-freak on her. And, even un-evil, she is still pretty close to the hottest thing ever, so Pete lucks out too! *ties pretty bow on nice, tidy 'ship*
"It's like a car crash" 'Ship: Daniel/Sha're. It is so meanttobe. And then so DOOMED. I don't want to root for them since I know what's going to happen... and yet, I do. Oh, well.
"Tickles my fancy but not sold quite yet" 'Ship: Janet/Jonas. They're pretty, and Daniel's officially out of town. It's a bit Mrs. Robinson-y (other people 'ship this guy with her DAUGHTER) but I can get past that since he's not from this planet.
"Makes no canon sense but why the hell not" 'Ship: mini-OTP!!! Thor *so* took the opportunity to back up Sam's brain in a mini!Carter, especially since he wants Sam and Jack to breed with their impressively superior genes, and has lost faith in the classic!OTP to get their acts together in time to produce offspring. Hence, the mini!OTP. Think about it. They're really impossible *not* to love.
"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" 'Ship: Jack/Daniel. There are totally moments when I go "wow, if I saw this pairing I would jump all over that moment," but I really like them as friends and don't see Jack going there. I could see Daniel being confused about the whole thing. But as an actual pairing? Can't get there.
"When all is said and done" 'Ship: Jack and Sam, baby.
Fandom: The Dead Zone
One True Pairing Ship: Johnny/Sarah
Favorite Canon Ship: Sarah/Walt
"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" 'Ship: Purdy/Sarah. Actually, Purdy/anybody-except-Dana, and that's only because he's had her before.
"You are one sick bastard" 'Ship: I guess it depends on if you see a polyamourous marriage for Sarah with Johnny and Walt as "sick" or "really the only logical thing to do."
"I dabble a little" 'Ship: Johnny/Dana. I like it, I like the way it is/was handled on the show, and I don't think it's got real potential as a lifetime thing. (I missed most of last season. Is she even still alive? I hope so. I heart my slutty redheaded reporter.)
"It's like a car crash" 'Ship: Walt/Dana. No good can come of this. But if Sarah and Johnny hook up (again, some more), these two could totally comfort each other in a way that leaves marks.
"Tickles my fancy but not sold quite yet" 'Ship: Bruce/Alison. He needs a honey and... she exists. It's amazing how many 'ships are formed that way.
"Makes no canon sense but why the hell not" 'Ship: No clue. Is there even anyone left?
"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" 'Ship: Johnny/Walt. I can see where people get it from, I guess, but that really doesn't seem like the best way to stick it to Sarah for refusing to make an solid choice.
"When all is said and done" 'Ship: Johnny/Sarah/Walt. Although probably not all at the same time, except on special occasions.
Edited: for neatness and to point out that now I really want to write fic about *eeeverybody.*
-- Little Red, who is quite probably the only one who read all of that. w00t!