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25 January 2011 @ 10:37 pm
Holodeckathon: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Fortress of Doom...  
So I was going back and tagging these posts (because I broke down and realized this minimarathon isn't so mini and needs its own tag) and realized that I FORGOT to mention the epic costuming crackfest that is "Qpid." So, that's here, along with a few more seasons of Voyager, because they spend just way too much time in the holodeck on that ship.

TNG, Season 4


Riker can wear the hell out of a fur shawl.

I watched this with the rest of TNG so have no idea why I didn't include it in a previous post. I can only assume it was because my mind was blown with the sheer crazy. Q, being phenomenally bored (and believing that he owes Picard something "nice") whisks the entire command staff, plus Vash as Maid Marian, into a fantasy recreation of Robin Hood. Everybody looks fabulous in leggings. Picard theoretically learns the importance of love and sacrifice or whatever - Q kind of makes up the life lessons as he goes along - but triumphs in the end... only to lose Vash to Q's omnipotent charms. This is okay with me, because Vash and Q have much more in common, and they can traipse around the universe discussing all the ways they're going to mess with Jean-Luc's head next time they're in this dimension.

Voyager, Season 3

"Worst Case Scenario"

Okay, if there was threesome fic, I would read it.

B'Elanna finds what she thinks is a secret holonovel about a Maquis mutiny on Voyager, and everyone loves it. Except Janeway and Chakotay, who want to know who's writing seditious fanfic. It turns out it's Tuvok! Psych. It's actually a security training exercise he never finished since everyone started getting along and sleeping with each other. Tom volunteers to write the rest of what is sure to become the crackiest holonovel of all time ("and then Voyager turns into a muscle car and they go through a spatial anomaly that makes all the women go topless!"), so Tuvok tries to reassert authorial control, while B'Elanna just wants it to become a romance novel (CANON!). However, they're all massively trolled by Seska, the greatest hacker in the universe, who rewrote the program back in season 1 so that the holographic ship and crew will torture and kill Tuvok (and Tom, who is there to provide his sophisticated creative insight) BECAUSE SHE CAN. Seska >>> everyone. Except by the end Janeway > Seska, and also, she's still alive.

Voyager, Season 4:

"The Killing Game"

A sci-fi series just ain't a sci-fi series until you have aliens dressed as Nazis.

According to an informal poll of my immediate family and my dog, this is the best freaking Voyager episode, period. It's awesome. The Hirogen have taken over the ship, and because they want to prolong the hunt, they suppress everyone's memories and program them to believe that they're characters in various deadly holodeck scenarios. While Harry Kim and a few other unfortunates are forced to build out the holodecks until they cover half the ship, the rest of the crew believe they're in the French resistance (or the incoming American army) during WW2. They all look amaaazing. Later, Seven and Janeway regain their memories just in time for the invading American army to bust off the holodeck and into the rest of the ship. Best moments include Janeway and Chakotay-as-American-soldier blowing up sickbay with dynamite, B'Elanna and Tom's cute holographic romance, and Harry Kim saving himself by remembering a random detail that Tom probably told him one of those times when he just wouldn't shut up about the 20th century.

I make this look goooood.

"Living Witness"

I picked out these gloves at the Evil Doppelganger Surplus Store.

Alien holodeck time! The episode opens on Voyager, but you can tell it's an evil version of Voyager because Janeway's wearing leather gloves, all the guys have dyed black hair, and they're committing genocide. Because there is no justice, this is not a mirror universe episode, but instead a holodeck in an alien museum 500 years in the future. I should point out that the museum guests are watching the holodeck simulation - a full-fledged physical holodeck simulation - through a little window on the exterior wall. So they could just be watching a movie. Anyway, the museum curator finds an artifact that turns out to be the Doctor's backup module (I'm relieved to know they back him up!), activates him, and they argue about the merits of history. Robert Picardo does his best to make this episode interesting, but they tell us in the teaser that Voyager survived the encounter and that it was 500 years ago... so really, no one cares. Next!

Voyager Season 5

"Extreme Risk"

Sadly, this is not a precursor to cave sex.

So, two episodes after Janeway tries to kill herself in "Night," B'Elanna spends an episode trying to kill herself on the holodeck. She's understandably colossally depressed after hearing that the Maquis all died, and she wasn't the most stable mental cookie to begin with, so she withdraws from everything and starts self-injuring on the holodeck by running extremely dangerous programs with the safeties off. Her emotional decline is a little painful to watch, but it's so worth it, because Chakotay stages a one-man intervention and he is AWESOME. I'm not saying he isn't sexy when he's building bathtubs and whatever, but damn, I love a man with a spine.

"Bride of Chaotica!"

I'm not sure this even needs a caption.

Tom Paris, chairperson of the Voyager Society for Creative Anachronism, and Harry Kim, permanent sidekick, are playing a 1930s-esque black and white sci-fi holoprogram called Captain Proton. As occasionally happens, Voyager runs into a subspace something, and photonic aliens end up in a war with Captain Proton's nemesis, the nefarious Doctor Chaotica. To save the aliens from Chaotica, Tom ropes Janeway into a one-time engagement as Queen Arachnia, in the superlative costume you see above, and it's probably the most fun she has had in five years. I note that this is what happens when the holodeck malfunctions but the safeties stay on.

It's not at all the funniest scene in the episode, but here's a link to possibly my favorite briefing room scene of all time. I would totally support your decision to remain on youtube and watch the entire episode!

As always, caps are from trekcore.com!
a universal sigh: Voy - J-way & Tuvok - 3d glasses of rocknaushika on January 26th, 2011 06:50 am (UTC)
Ugh, these are all seriously like the best holodeck episodes ever. THE BEST! LOVVVVEEE.

LOL that briefing room scene. "The destructo beam on my rocketship can disable the deathray but only if someone gets inside the Fortress of Doom and can shut down the Lightning Shield."

"And who's supposed to do that?"

"Arachnia. Queen of the spider people."

Voyager is so much beautiful crack.
Little Red: trek - p/t lovemylittleredgirl on January 29th, 2011 05:06 am (UTC)
"Yes, ma'am. His army of evil."

VOYAGER IS SO MUCH CRACK, I KNOW, RIGHT??? I don't think they could keep a straight face at the plot brainstorming meetings.

That scene is THE BEST. I love Tom Paris playing all of that completely straight, too. Where was B'Elanna in this episode?
babylil on January 26th, 2011 07:37 am (UTC)
Voyager really did make awesome two-parters, didn't it? 'The Killing Game' may be the best episode ever, or it may be slightly surpassed by 'Year of Hell'.

Also, I dressed up as Arachnia for the fancy dress party of a convention once. It was so much fun. I don't seem to have any photos, sadly :(
Little Red: trek - ezri bashir spotsmylittleredgirl on January 29th, 2011 05:09 am (UTC)
I don't know, I think "Year of Hell" gets docked a few points for NEVER HAPPENING AT ALL. That always bugs me when that happens! *mutters* Maybe that pet peeve should be my next marathon? There MUST be a few of those episodes running around...

You totally win. :) I won a "sexiest dancer" competition at a Star Trek convention when I was 15 or so dressed as a Trill, which... huh, I never thought about how grown men awarding a sexiest dancer prize to a 15 year old girl might be kind of disturbing until RIGHT NOW.
Ridiculously Fanaticnel_ani on January 26th, 2011 09:37 am (UTC)
I'll see you at the Fortress of Doom. And remember, you're the queen!

I actually have very few memories of The Killing Game, hmm.

I always found Living Witness really sad because the Doctor, in a sense, got left behind. Even if he made it back, everyone he knew would be dead and he'd be outdated technology. (Though, I really liked evil!Janeway with the gloves ♥).

Bride of Chaotica is the most glorious thing ever created. "You can always uncork the pheromones." "I BEG YOUR PARDON?"
Clydesuzvoy on January 26th, 2011 04:58 pm (UTC)
Re: I'll see you at the Fortress of Doom. And remember, you're the queen!
"You're the queen!"
Little Red: trek - chakotay-on-brain - 2clmylittleredgirl on January 29th, 2011 05:12 am (UTC)
Re: I'll see you at the Fortress of Doom. And remember, you're the queen!
Oooh, rewatch Killing Game, because it is RAD.

Living Witness is so terribly sad! He's not even the real Doctor, but a backup program! I think the saddest part is at the end when they say he took a shuttle and headed for the Alpha Quadrant even knowing that they're all dead. :-/ Yes, like what you said. *actually reads comment with eyes*

OMG. BRIDE OF CHAOTICA. It's kind of hilarious to see how Kate Mulgrew and Robert Beltran are both a little thrown by the comic timing in some scenes, I think. You only notice when you watch scenes over and over obsessively, which only crazy people do, or something, so I've heard.
A.j.: amusedaj on January 26th, 2011 02:25 pm (UTC)
You know my ~feelings~ on Killing Game. And that really IS the best briefing room sequence ever shot. If just because the peanut gallery is REALLY trying not to laugh.
Little Redmylittleredgirl on January 29th, 2011 05:13 am (UTC)

It's a good thing I fanon'd him a hot girlfriend to give him comfort glowy sex.
(Deleted comment)
Little Red: trek - p/t lovemylittleredgirl on January 29th, 2011 05:16 am (UTC)
Well, "Extreme Risk" isn't a Klingon honor episode, so you're probably in the clear. :) I don't think they even mention it, and B'Elanna's just fighting people and doing ridiculous stunts because she's, as aj likes to say, bugfuck nuts.

I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THE TOM/B'ELANNA HOLOGRAM LOVE AFFAIR. It was such a good story! I want to know how the holoprogram was supposed to play out!
Samin_parentheses on January 27th, 2011 01:03 pm (UTC)
I only watched the first season of Voyager, because a) college and b) it just didn't grab me. It got a LOT more ridiculous after I left!
Little Redmylittleredgirl on January 29th, 2011 05:14 am (UTC)
They had a lot of peaks and valleys of ridiculousness. This show was at its cracked-out best when they were all having a ridiculous romp through the Delta Quadrant with a lot of holodeck adventures and makeouts.