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30 January 2011 @ 04:36 pm
Holodeckathalon: The Line of Good Taste  
Janeway has a boyfriend who malfunctions. Barclay has a life that malfunctions. Marina Sirtis collects a paycheck. Status quo here at the holodeckathalon!

Voyager, Season 6


I'm not saying that B'Elanna and Chakotay in Maquis digs is the best part of this episode, but that's only because Barclay also has a cat named Neelix.

This episode, about the continuing saga of Reginald Barclay's mental health, takes place almost entirely on Earth. Barclay is now working at the Pathfinder project, which has something to do with deploying a bitchin' sensor array and contacting Voyager. Something has gone terribly wrong, which leads him to summon Troi for a house call, thus beginning Marina Sirtis' career of enabling bizarre TNG episodes to happen on other Star Trek series. Girlfriend is looking good! She wears this expression for almost the entire episode:

I can't even be bothered to speak in Troi's accent for this one.

Not shockingly, Barclay's holodiction has returned, and this time his obsession of choice is a program of Voyager, where he plays the Most Valuable Crewmember and everybody's BFF. He even sleeps in holographic quarters, despite having the sweetest apartment ever shown on Star Trek. While a few dilithium crystals short of a warp core breach, Barclay is still a genius, and he comes up with a way to communicate with the actual starship Voyager. Owen Paris makes an appearance, the real Voyager crew toasts Barclay as an honorary crewmember, and Barclay gets an off-camera girlfriend. She isn't a hologram, so I don't foresee this working out long-term. More importantly, I found this on fuckyeahtng and it's brilliant:

Sometimes they take me days.

"Fair Haven"

Programmed to her specifications.

The Voyager Society for Creative Anachronism strikes again, this time with a ye olde Irish town. Janeway falls for the holographic bartender and begins messing with his program to make him a better holographic boyfriend. All of this seems normal - the holodeck is for porn, after all - until she has a crisis about whether the hologram loves her back. The Doctor, ever a fan of holographic equality, encourages her to continue this relationship, just in time for a spatial anomaly something to destroy most of Fair Haven. Tom manages to save Michael's program. Janeway locks herself out of making future changes to his program so that it will be like a real relationship. Oh, Kathryn.

"Spirit Folk"

Epic eyeroll.

Because these things seem to happen a lot, the characters in Fair Haven start evolving and interpret the crew's use of holodeck controls as "dark magic." They react by capturing Tom, Harry and the Doctor and trying to exorcise them and/or burn them at the stake. Janeway doesn't want to shut down the holodeck, which would erase Fair Haven, while B'Elanna flips out and tells her that Michael can be reprogrammed, but Tom can't. (In modern-day terms, Janeway is rescuing her laptop with The Sims on it from a burning building while hoping her family can make it out of the fire on their own.) Janeway convinces Michael that they're not evil spirits at all, but time travelers from outer space, and everyone ends up happy except B'Elanna, who is starting to wish the holodeck had never been invented. I love her in this episode. She should play the voice of reason more often. While I think this episode casts some doubt on Janeway's remaining sanity, as well as highlighting the emergency need for some rules to be laid down about not creating sentient holograms willy-nilly, she and the holographic boyfriend are really pretty cute:

I forgive you the crack shenanigans for making Janeway smile!
Icepixie: [Voy] P/T Nomicepixie on January 31st, 2011 12:58 am (UTC)
Ohhhhh, "Fair Haven." Aka "the episode where I gave up on Voyager." *headdesk*

I think this episode casts some doubt on Janeway's remaining sanity

Heh heh. Yeah, she was...not the most mentally stable after, like, season four, was she?
Little Red: trek - doc & 7mylittleredgirl on January 31st, 2011 03:29 am (UTC)
Really? "Fair Haven" was the final straw? I can think of a few episodes perhaps more deserving of that dubious honor, but to each her own! ;) I liked "Fair Haven" for the costumes and silliness and Janeway smiling and Chakotay mocking her on the Bridge. <3

Oh, Janeway was such an insane mess, and it's really so sad! Because she's awesome. When I watch the show, I always get this feeling of JANEWAY, I LOVE YOU, YOU NEED A VACATION. Hence, me and aj and our forever love of the idea that Janeway gets a vacation and then everything is better and it becomes a happy chirpy show again.
Icepixie: [XF] Scully nooooooicepixie on January 31st, 2011 05:20 am (UTC)
It was the holoboyfriend. It was just one too many in a line of "Really, show? REALLY???" moments. Plus I was still a huge J/C shipper at the time, and it made me sad that they were obviously ignoring it entirely.

Janeway definitely needed a vacation or ten. She could've been so awesome! So could the show! But it was like the people in charge just made the wrong choice on EVERY DECISION THEY COULD MAKE, like it was deliberate or something, and the show was just terrible. :(
Little Red: trek - ani plzstop - rightoniconsmylittleredgirl on February 1st, 2011 04:14 am (UTC)
The holoboyfriend was indeed a "whaaaa?" moment. There's a line, people! The line between holographic sex toys and holographic significant others! Please make sure you are on the correct side of this line!

The J/C aspect didn't bother me, because I was raised on Riker/Troi, and therefore tend not to be threatened by extracurricular sexual activities especially when he's a hologram, so it's not like he could marry her and give her babies.

Yep. It's like Kate Mulgrew mouthed off to the producers one too many times and they suddenly started taking great glee in making her do batshit crazy things.
a universal sigh: Voy - Janeway - purple hazenaushika on January 31st, 2011 01:00 am (UTC)
LOLOL. This whole entry left me in tears from laughing so hard.

(In modern-day terms, Janeway is rescuing her laptop with The Sims on it from a burning building while hoping her family can make it out of the fire on their own.) <-- DYING.
Little Red: trek - screammylittleredgirl on January 31st, 2011 03:31 am (UTC)
HAHAHA. I KNOW. OMG, the holodeck episodes are such crack, and it's amazing. Sometimes you just stare at it and go THIS IS CANON. THIS HAPPENED ON TV. THIS ISN'T SOME ANONYMOUS FANFIC WRITER ON THE INTERNET, THIS ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH COMMITTEES AND WAS PHYSICALLY FILMED. I love Star Trek so hard.
(Deleted comment)
Little Red: trek - doc & 7mylittleredgirl on January 31st, 2011 03:34 am (UTC)
Haha, the Seven episode is the last one, I think! I don't mind it that much, though, because parts of it are sweet and it never gets as mortifying as it could. And "Fair Haven" is super pretty! And I agree with Chakotay - it's nice to see Janeway having some fun for once in her sad sad life, but she went over the top with it, as is her nature.

miera_c: chocolatemiera_c on January 31st, 2011 02:31 am (UTC)
OK I just read a Trek fic a couple days ago where they were joking about how 87% of the holodeck programs were pornographic in nature, and then I thought of your 'thon and laughed myself silly.
Little Red: trek - crusher riker laugh - yappichickmylittleredgirl on January 31st, 2011 03:35 am (UTC)
HEEE. I do these things just to amuse you, you know. :)

I need a version of your icon that says BECAUSE HOLOGRAMS CAN'T GET YOU PREGNANT.
miera_c: vulcan gangmiera_c on January 31st, 2011 04:49 am (UTC)
I know. That's what sockpuppets do.

I have this icon instead.
Little Red: trek - wank burns - icons_of_isismylittleredgirl on February 1st, 2011 04:24 am (UTC)
That icon is indeed badass. I think if I can find just the right sexy hologram screencap, I should make demands upon those members of my flist who know things about photoshop.

Somehow I never use this icon when it is appropriate SO I AM USING IT NOW.
Ridiculously Fanatic: voy janeway by caffeynel_ani on January 31st, 2011 12:16 pm (UTC)
While a few dilithium crystals short of a warp core breach, Barclay is still a genius

Best summary of Barclay ever. XD

OMG! I totally didn't remember that there were several episodes with Janeway's holoboyfriend!
Little Red: trek - ro whatevsmylittleredgirl on February 1st, 2011 04:25 am (UTC)
YES! We never hear from him again after this one. Perhaps once he realized she was actually just a space babe from the future the magic was gone?