It's unbeta'd and ridiculous, as it is very very early in the morning. It's exactly twice as long as it should be, but let's say that's intentional to avoid creative copyright infringement. :)
Daniel could hear the commotion all the way down the hall.
"What are you-"
"Well, how am I supposed to know what to do with this?"
"Sir, let me hold-"
"OW! That was my hand!"
"O'Neill. Colonel Carter. Do you require assistance?"
"Oh, we're just peachy..."
"Get off me! I can't breathe!"
"Ack! You don't have to bite me."
He didn't want to know. He really didn't want to know.
"Well, if you didn't have your elbow in my mouth-"
Oh, all right, he wanted to know.
It took him a minute to locate Jack and Sam, all but buried in... streamers? They were each tugging in opposite directions and somehow managing to knot themselves up further.
Teal'c was sitting behind a fake palm tree, sedately blowing up balloons.
Daniel didn't actually say what the hell?, but the sentiment was the same. "Um. What're you guys doing?"
Sam poked her head out from amid the mess of bright neon crepe and shot Daniel an indignant look. "It's Julie's birthday."
"Stand up," Jack ordered, fussing with the streamers tying them together with his one free hand.
"No! Don't help me!"
"This is your fault, sir."
"You were the one who said you knew how to throw a party."
Daniel waved his hands for attention. "How does Julie having a birthday result in... this?"
"She must have a party, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c supplied helpfully, flicking a balloon toward the center of the room and looking a good deal less stoic than usual.
"So? We have birthday parties all the time." And never before had an SGC birthday party resulted in a stationery store exploding all over the special functions room.
"YES, Daniel," Jack huffed, reaching underneath what looked like the makings of a pin the tail on the Eeyore game for scissors. "We have birthday parties all the time because Julie throws them."
Oh. Really? He should probably thank her for that at some point. "So how come you guys are doing this, then?"
Sam managed to sound awfully superior for being wrapped up with her commanding officer in bright pink streamer like flies in a web. "Julie can't throw her own party. It's a rule."
That made sense. "So, what kind of cake did you guys get her?"
Sam's eyes went wide. "I left it in the oven!" She made it exactly one step toward the door before the remaining streamers tripped her up, pulling her and Jack to the ground again.
"Sir, I have to-"
"Will you hang on until we're free?"
"It's probably on fire by now!"
Teal'c finished blowing up another balloon. Oh, yeah. Definitely amused. "If you wish to assist us, you can locate places to hang the pinatas."
"O'Neill and Colonel Carter were unable to come to an agreement."
A shrill alarm sounded over the PA system, followed by a page for General O'Neill to the mess to deal with the aftermath of a contained oven fire.
That definitely never happened when Julie was in charge.
Sam and Jack managed to extricate themselves from the last of the streamers and bolted from the room, still arguing.
"Maybe they'll have time to go and buy a cake?" Daniel suggested. All of Julie's parties had cake. He'd have to check on that rule that said she couldn't help with her own party. There should probably be an exception in this case, since it resulted in actual fire.
"Do not worry, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said. He must have been reading Daniel's mind, because he went on to add, "It is only once a year."
-- Little Red