Little Red (mylittleredgirl) wrote,
Little Red
mylittleredgirl

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the unrelenting march of gleee!

So... um... wow. This joy sadhana thing is spreading. I can't even tell you how amazing gleeeful this makes me. On livejournal a bunch of folk have started and want to start doing it, and someone my mom told about it at work is now telling her friends about it. SO COOL!!

So much yay! I love reading other people's random gleee, and now there is MORE of it!!

And... okay, I don't actually care if this comes across sounding ridiculous :). (I don't mean it as grand or vain, though, because this all really isn't my idea). Anyway, this is totally casting a new light on this stretch of my life when I'm sick and unable to really be A Productive Member Of Society (tm).

Because, in a little way in the large-scale-of-things and a big way in my personal scale-of-things, I feel like I'm doing something, like I am still worth it. "My Life" is on hold, but the *important* part of my life and how I am in it actually isn't. When we used to talk about dharma, I always felt like mine was about spreading joy. I wanted (and want) every day to have made someone's life a little bit better than it would have been if I wasn't in it.

And this makes me feel like I'm doing that joy-spreading what-I-want-to-do-to-give-myself-meaning thing, and that's been kind of blowing my mind all day.

5 good things about today:

1. see above

2. KNITTING was discussed at work! I felt knowledgeable and experienced. Potential women's craft circle in my future!! (Not as cool as soc soc, of course)

3. All the amazing replies to my election journal post, especially an email from keenween (which I will reply to when am more awake). I feel smart!

4. Fantastic linguistic geekage with pellucid and onlookers.

5. Amazing moment of the universe throwing relevant wisdom at me. There was a mild scene at work with a new-ish girl that made me feel rather like a horrible, thoughtless person for a single slight lapse. I have no problem with imperfection in stuff I do, but have a very hard time dealing with mistakes I make with people. At any rate, because of some computer-system confusion at work, I end up spending about 15 minutes waiting at the front desk with this amazingly cool guest. In a completely different context, she quoted The Four Agreements, saying,

"Always do your best. Your best changes from moment to moment."

It rocked my world to hear that right then, and made me SO HAPPY again, some more, to have the job I have. Yes, I am doing menial, low-hourly-wage retail work. But I meet awesome people every day in the middle of some amazing personal transformations. My heart is opened daily by working retail, and I am part of an organization whose larger mission I totally support. I have also now discovered this Four Agreements thing, which requires further investigation. Which is a lot of gleee for one bullet point.

3 things I did well:

1. Was willing to be flexible with my scheduling today and changed shifts last minute. Was rewarded with midday nap.

2. Apologized immediately to coworker after realizing she was upset, and did the best I could with the whole situation.

3. Figured out through sheer personal brilliance why photoshop was making 4 pt text be the size of my freaking head (which was a result of my sheer personal unbrilliance, but that's not the issue here). Made ICON!! (I made an icon all by myself!)
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