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05 January 2005 @ 05:14 pm
*bangs head against desk*  
How come any time I am faced with even the smallest, most manageable deadline I get the crushing feeling that I will amount to nothing in life and want to crawl off somewhere lonely and die rather than face the wee tiny not-death-deserving thing?

No wonder I was so damned miserable as a student.
 
 
feel: crushedcrushed
 
 
 
One Whose Honesty is Stronger Than Her Fear: believeamilyn on January 5th, 2005 10:37 pm (UTC)
*hugs*

Love you.
One Whose Honesty is Stronger Than Her Fear: believeamilyn on January 5th, 2005 10:38 pm (UTC)
*hugs*

Love you.
Little Red: b5 - corps is mother - thatfangirlmylittleredgirl on January 5th, 2005 10:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks :)
(Deleted comment)
Little Red: sg - osiris knowing evil - littlekfrumylittleredgirl on January 5th, 2005 11:00 pm (UTC)
*gasp* You wrote a Sarah/Pete story!?!??? Eeee! (and your other comments make SO much more sense now!) YAY!! How did I NOT know this? You must have just been tossing around a title and I missed what it was referring to in your posts about your writings.

There were songs in Charlotte's Web? I think I only read the book, but I take from this that it must have been made into a movie. Or... a musical.

*sends shepperd/weir and daniel/janet huggles*

*is ridiculously happy at that* Yay!
Chin Up... - mysticalweather on January 6th, 2005 02:00 am (UTC) (Expand)
Tammy - never give up, never surrender: RL - Me and Bearbesyd on January 5th, 2005 10:59 pm (UTC)
{{{Hugs!}}}
Lisa Yaegerlisayaeger on January 5th, 2005 11:14 pm (UTC)
*hugs* You've already amounted to quite a bit :-D

Little Red: b5 - corps is mother - thatfangirlmylittleredgirl on January 6th, 2005 04:54 am (UTC)
Aww, thank you :)

I think the frustrating thing is that the "amount to something in life" is part of the problem. Well, I want to amount to be a good mother someday, so must acquire job skills to bring me living wage of moneys. And that requires learning to deal with deadlines without curling up under my bed.

I have put my bed on the floor -- that should help. :)

*loves you*
(no subject) - lisayaeger on January 6th, 2005 11:11 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
Little Red: trek - naomi wildman - jen717mylittleredgirl on January 6th, 2005 04:56 am (UTC)
*is comforted* For we have had massively geeky comment!spam all day, and that proves that you are COOL despite also being crap with deadlines. Yay!!

The thing is -- even when deadlines are, like, a month off, and I have WAY more time, I get all freaked out about them. There must be some cool meditation-y, baby-steps-y coping strategy I can work on. Will look :)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - mylittleredgirl on January 6th, 2005 06:07 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - mylittleredgirl on January 6th, 2005 06:33 am (UTC) (Expand)
A.j.: hugsaj on January 5th, 2005 11:32 pm (UTC)
*hugs you*
You should become a... um. Yoga instructor?
Little Red: xf - scully baby - carolinamylittleredgirl on January 6th, 2005 05:09 am (UTC)
Re: *hugs you*
I should become a MOMMY!!

But, um, need to have a way to make a living wage first (and, liek, a husband). Bother. I'd love to go into therapeutic massage -- and have wanted to since like age 10 -- but I don't think I'm physically up to it. Sooooo... yoga! And... um... run a knitting store? Or or or teach swimming more! Or... um... join an ashram! yes, must figure out how to deal with deadlines if I want to make money. And I like money. So damn.

*heaves great sigh*

I am a bit worried I'm setting myself up to CRASH AND BURN looking for full-time, deadline-heavy, fast-paced-intense job while still not quite better. Hrm. Well, maybe they won't hire me and I'll come up with some other way to fund my health insurance.
We can hope? - aj on January 6th, 2005 05:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: We can hope? - mylittleredgirl on January 6th, 2005 05:15 am (UTC) (Expand)
No... - aj on January 6th, 2005 05:27 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: No... - mylittleredgirl on January 6th, 2005 05:37 am (UTC) (Expand)
you're thinking of mr wizard: shep closet math geek (by ladyofemynarnecleverocity on January 5th, 2005 11:35 pm (UTC)
hugs hugs hugs!
you're thinking of mr wizard: shep closet math geek (by ladyofemynarnecleverocity on January 5th, 2005 11:36 pm (UTC)
hugs hugs hugs!
you're thinking of mr wizardcleverocity on January 5th, 2005 11:38 pm (UTC)
Er, yes. Double infinihugs.
(no subject) - mylittleredgirl on January 6th, 2005 05:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
Julie, betrayer of the literary tradition: mood-hugsplash_the_cat on January 6th, 2005 12:25 am (UTC)
*hugs you*
Little Red: trek - naomi wildman - jen717mylittleredgirl on January 6th, 2005 05:10 am (UTC)
*is hugged*
Malinnemalinne on January 6th, 2005 12:49 am (UTC)
Hey...you are not allowed to talk that way about yourself. Stop it! We all know that you have made something of yourself. What's a little performance anxiety? *hugs*
Little Red: b5 - corps is mother - thatfangirlmylittleredgirl on January 6th, 2005 05:23 am (UTC)
:) Yay!!

I'm not sure *what* I have amounted to at this point -- I'm sort of just heading into the phase of "amounting to something" since I'm 22 and illnessed myself out of college and my SAT scores really no longer count as a lifetime achievement... but I suppose "fairly decent human being" counts for something? Oooh! And I can knit sweaters.

Oh well. Now that the moment has passed I can think of this as a challenge and hopefully come up with some sort of PLAN to try and deal with the deadline-freaky-out-ness.
Rose Wilde-Irishrosewildeirish on January 6th, 2005 01:51 am (UTC)
*pets* You will do just fine, and finish with plenty of time.
Little Red: b5 - corps is mother - thatfangirlmylittleredgirl on January 6th, 2005 05:27 am (UTC)
Thanks for indulging my random LJ-whining :)

I didn't finish in time, but since I am working for MY FATHER's company and English is actually my native language (it isn't his), he is very impressed with what I've written and thinks I am speshul.

The deadline-freaky-out thing in a larger sense is something I will have to work on, I suspect, but for the moment I am out of the line of fire. *whew*
(no subject) - rosewildeirish on January 6th, 2005 02:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Melody: pssst kittypellmelody on January 6th, 2005 02:34 am (UTC)
But you are loved. That must count for something. *hugs*
Little Red: trek - naomi wildman - jen717mylittleredgirl on January 6th, 2005 05:27 am (UTC)
It counts for LOTS!! *is loved and very happy and rather awed*
señora beaverhausen: [ csi: miami ] lustysombras_azules on January 6th, 2005 03:01 am (UTC)
Dude, you're not alone! I'm the same way. No deadlines? No problem! Deadline? PISS CASCADING DOWN MY PANTS!

That's encouraging for two writers, huh?
Little Red: xf - diana at your door - liminallizmylittleredgirl on January 6th, 2005 05:28 am (UTC)
It really isn't. *tragic sigh*

... I wonder if that's why you and I ended up with the most notoriously unfinished WiPs in DRR-land?

*clings to you*

We should run away somewhere and CHANGE OUR NAMES.
dingcdingc on January 6th, 2005 08:12 pm (UTC)
I suppose I have the opposite problem. Deadlines mean nothing to me. Hell, I didn't even study for one final this semester. Best advice I can give you is, to relax (but not like me = you don't do anything) and do your best! We're cheering for you!