Little Red (mylittleredgirl) wrote,
Little Red

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and I cry out, and they hold me down...

I love my job. But it takes a lot out of me.

I won't really represent the personal hell and horror that was the final six hours of my workday (omg UNDERSTAFFED ALONE PARANOID SO BUSY SO MANY PEOPLE GRABBING AT ME and I kept FUCKING UP), because when I write it out in more detail than that I start to feel really lame. Because it's retail, and yet I maintain that a lot is asked of us. On insane days it's a lot to deal with, and sometimes too much for me.

And then I come home and almost start crying because maching_monkey is leaving LJ and B. isn't at WORK anymore and *SAD*

(There are a lot of mean voices in my head right now yelling bad things at me. I am ignoring them.)

These are the days I built joy sadhana for...

5 good things about today:

1. Fifty-eight degrees!!!!!!!

2. Baseball discussion at dinner -- with a YANKEES fan who teared up with sentimental joy about the Red Sox victory last year. *squeeeee* Who says we can't all get along? :-D

3. After work, the Yoga Studio was empty, and worked out with Tae Kwon Do stuff for forty-five minutes by myself in a room walled entirely with mirrors. Centered me a lot and was just what I needed.

4. Also, I bought a REWARD PAD meant for stickers at Wal-Mart last night, and the first activity I'm sticker-rewarding myself for ("make a child happy and encourage good behavior!") is exercise, and so I got a sticker for that. :-D There are thirty spaces on the reward pad... once they're all filled I'll trade the page in for something. Haven't yet decided what. Yes, I'm six years old, and I respond well to the reward system.

5. I have brand-new color-changeable markers. I could seriously watch the colors magically change for HOURS. I SAID I was six! I may have drawn hearts and written characters' names in them, SHHH! It was to TEST THE COLORS!

6. (BONUS!) Have just read friendslist... and I won fanfic awardness!! Hee! I think I like the prospect of being known as "the girl who wrote the toaster story." I'm also really delighted for elly427 and splash_the_cat, and am deeply amused by the reactions of the rest of the friendslist, particularly stars_like_dust, who is hilarious. And while it has been established by smart people on my flist that this really means nothing given the company, I'm twittering over the fact that people have heard of me on the internet!! *twitters* I'm also really really stoked that nostalgia_lj said she nominated "After All", because nos' is SO COOL and she likes something of mine! And that people are classing me with the cool writers in their rants, and that's just really sweet. And I sound VAIN but OH WELL, this is really really neat. I heart you all.

7. (BONUS!) Bargained with supervisor to just do anchor stuff on Sunday nights and not work a real shift, so that they get a closing anchor and I still get to do TKD one evening session a week. SCORE! I officially have the BEST SCHEDULE EVER now in terms of days off. Like the schedule that they would never, ever, ever hire someone for, because it is THAT GOOD. I'm in danger of becoming attached.

8. (BONUS!) Did I mention I have color-changeable markers and a reward pad that says "Give yourself a hand - Hooray! - For each bright star you get today!" Well, I do. Also, a graphing calculator.

3 things I did well:

1. Got to post office in time to mail care package to saidshe this morning before work.

2. I'm almost positive no one at work and none of the customers could tell how close I was to bolting out of the shop screaming (for that would have been unprofessional). I suppose did not bolt out of shop screaming would also be an accomplishment here. Also, deciding to ask to my supervisors for suggestions tomorrow about how to better handle that situation rather than just quitting in a fit of panic.

3. Did closing anchor stuff without help for the first time! The combination of my brain plus the official flow sheet plus *my* flow sheet seems to be sufficient.

4. (BONUS!) Worked on having No Opinion and accepting that things are the way they are when my managers made changes and decisions today that I don't necessarily agree with. Was surprisingly successful.

... wow. That really works! I'm much happier now. My day kicked ass!

P.S. Also, my manager proudly revealed today that she's the one who thought "fluffing" would make a fantastic retail term. I didn't snicker in the meeting, but it was hard. I mean, a challenge. I mean... damn. Hee.

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